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RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/11/2014 4:37:17 PM   
LeatherBentOne51


Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline 		How dare you.

I resent your approach, your manner, your manipulation, your conclusions and your dishonesty. As Lady Pact so eloquently stated, you regard submissives as lab rats. You resent submissives with a brain and for being human, of flesh, blood, feelings, needs, wants and desires. As a Dominant, I regret that those subs who responded were so mistreated.

To answer your question, they are looking for everything you profess to be and are NOT.

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/11/2014 5:13:33 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSexyGuy

I assumed that a BDSM chat room would provide me with more evenly mixed culturally, economically, and racial background of people to participate in discussion in an online chatroom, as with the BDSM community it reaches a wider age group, political background, social, and economic background of people.

What a conceited asshat!!

Firstly, this is not a chatroom - it is a forum for discussion.
Secondly, if this is truly a study, then it needs to be a controlled group. We aren't.
Thirdly, you have picked an extremely narrow subset of a very small group compared to a random set of general people.
Fourthly, we have not given you permission or consent to use anything we say in your "study".
Fifth, it is soo poorly thought out as to produce nothing of any value - even for a random study PoV.

Nope. Sorry. You ain't getting nowt outta me.

ETA: You should know what "assume" stands for? Practice it and learn!


< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 2/11/2014 5:14:56 PM >

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/11/2014 5:30:19 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSexyGuy

Thank you for the answers and they are all completely reasonable. As a Dom though I felt as though I was reading a list of demands. If I was to evaluate my potential interest in a sub based on her answers then I would feel as though they presented themselves in a way that made them seem not submissive, and therefor, as a Dom I would conclude that I am not interested in any.
So, your assumption is that submissive means submissive to everybody and that they don't get to have their needs and wants fulfilled.

The reality is that submissive does not mean that they are not submissive to everybody. In fact they won't be submissive until a power dynamic has been agreed upon.

It's also symbiotic relationship which means that both parties get their needs and wants met by the relationship.


quote:

I notice how no one mentioned how much they wanted a Dom to provide them with someone to focus their time and attention on.
And this line indicates that you think submissives are lost little souls that need to have a Dominant to focus their life on. The reality is that we're still human beings with full lives and we can be whole and happy without having to have someone to plug that hole.

FYI: Your comments about lack of submissiveness and lack of focus on Doms were aimed at a series of women that have happy, healthy, long term D/s relationships. So, you may wish to reconsider your stance because telling someone that they're doing it wrong when they have achieved what you haven't, should be a wake up call for you.

As for the research angle, I call bullshit. This is just like the last thread that started off wrong and then the OP tried to justify it by saying it was research.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/11/2014 7:49:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneSexyGuy

The purpose of the statement above was to evaluate the direct statement of others and comment based on my view point. I realize that some participants in the first questioned felt I was evaluating them specifically. If you choose to participate in the questions then I ask emotional responses be set aside as the questions and my reflections are not to intended to offend anyone. I am conducting a study for my college communications class. Thank you.


So basically you lied.

Had you stated this was for a class I would have never responded to it.Please ignore my earlier response and do not use it as part of your class.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/11/2014 9:26:45 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If this really was research for a class, then you are going to fail. I'm sure you've been told how to do research, including listing the name of the institution and the professor overseeing it. You skipped that part. I'm sure you've been told what sample size qualifies as a statistical universe, on that also you've failed.

I hope you're looking forward to repeating the course.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/12/2014 2:43:45 AM   
WorldsWorstMan


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline 		I think this sexy young man will fail lots of classes, and other things in life.

Its really funny how it turned into a "study" when it all went south. But this can still work as a study for the sexy one, and some of us other weird men as well. The main thing we should learn is not to step into the spotlight before we are ready for the heat.
If you really want to study, its a good idea to stay on the sidelines for a while and look at how some of the guys with more than the ice cream cone in the left box talk to people. They know how it is done.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/18/2014 3:15:15 AM   
justsuppose


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/8/2014
Status: offline 		security, direction, respect/domination (and cyical isn't) pleasure from service fulfillment in rewards

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/18/2014 3:20:19 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		...and pants.

Definitely pants.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to justsuppose)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 2/18/2014 3:59:08 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Pants are good.

For the OP: You'll do much better on this side if you quit pretending to be something you're not. The members on this side of CM are very good at seeing people for what they really are, truly you didn't have a chance in hell of getting your 'study' alibi believed.

You don't appear to have a good foundational knowledge of BDSM. There are lots of sources around, consult some.



_____________________________



(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/3/2014 8:38:39 PM   
needtobetiedhard


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/15/2013
Status: offline 		Trust is paramount to the bases of any sort of relationship, trust does not come overnight nor should ever be expected to be an action that comes on the touch of a button, it is growth and once I trust I can give everything there is no longer that linger of hesitation but don't give me doubts to shake this trust because once broken it can never be established again .....it is a lost relationship then

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/14/2014 8:54:50 AM   
SlaveSubPetServa


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/14/2014
Status: offline 		I want to be obedient and serve my mistress as her servant! i dont like a mistress who works ! i love when a mistress orders all of things to me and it makes me please but sometimes i need a little kindness.

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/16/2014 1:28:12 AM   
skinslavesub


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/16/2014
From: east sussex uk
Status: offline 		to be used

(in reply to OneSexyGuy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/16/2014 7:06:18 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

This is such complete and utter bollocks that it's difficult to know where to start.

A little info - I have a first class honours degree in social research. I *have* used online websites to carry out research. Not one damn thing in your entire thread could conceivably be described as research. You have not notified us of the nature and purpose of your research, you have not provided contact details where we may gain information about your organisation, our data protection and ability to withdraw consent for our answers to be used in your research. You have not vetted respondents to ensure they meet the sample type and size that you were looking for and you have not advised us of what publications, if any, our data and answers may be used in. What's more, and this should be really obvious to anyone in the BDSM field, you have not given us the opportunity to give informed consent to your research.

To put it simply, if this really is research, you are criminally unethical.

Finally, you are heckling anyone who asks you questions about your 'research' and writing off other answers as 'spam'. What part of this seems like objective, reliable research to you?

Not that I believe it is research. I believe that you are a wannabe Dom who is posing as a researcher as some sort of pathetic cover for your ineptitude and inability to respond to normal social cues. Basically, we all think you're a liar, and we're wondering why you are continuing this laughable charade.

Chortles-The technical term for this sort of stuff is "Wanksearch"

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/16/2014 3:54:38 PM   
CatharsisKentUK


Posts: 31
Joined: 2/22/2014
Status: offline

You hereby fail at teh interwebz. Please turn off your computer.

That is all.

< Message edited by CatharsisKentUK -- 3/16/2014 3:57:44 PM >

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/16/2014 4:04:08 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I want him to make me addicted to him sexually and constantly crave for his sexual attentions on me.
But he should be calm, mature and patient, funny and diplomatic. And have a back to earth, realistic view on how to mix kink with the real day to day world in a sensible and realistic manner.


Yeah that... expect that unlike Greta, as long as he can do that, I won't care too much about anything else.

Of course, in order to do that he'll have to poses a whole number of the qualities others have mentioned in this thread... so we're still kinda back to 'honest, dependable, assured, thoughtful, confident, blah blah blah...'

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What do subs/slaves most want out of a Dom? - 3/16/2014 4:58:57 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Watching the posters tee off on the unfortunate OP, I am reminded of the Harlem Globetrotters running up the score on whoever they were playing at the moment. Meaning, I am thinking of invoking the slaughter rule just out of pity.

But here's the part I find interesting- he seemed surprised and taken aback by the feeling that he was being given a list of demand, almost like a candidate at a job interview.

Sorry, but is in't "like" a job interview- it IS a job interview, and you the "Master" are merely Candidate #9,487.

Like most Dominants, I want a slave girl who is slavishly devoted to me, who craves my attention and sees serving me as her highest ambition.

So to rephrase the original OP, why WOULD any woman want me in such a way? What do I need to do or become to inspire such love and loyalty? Why should she select me out of the other hundred or so blue emails she receives in a day?

My experience has been that it is nothing more- and nothing less- than becoming the best man I can be, and she will either find that fascinating, or not.

Which sounds sort of mushy and fuzzy, like some pop psych stuff you see in airport bookstore.

But what I have experienced is that is it something very ironclad, hard edged, and brutal. Unless I as a man am willing to accept unflinchingly that the object of my admiration and affection just isn't interested in the man I am, it is foolishness and fatal to my integrity as a man to try and become that man she wants, instead of who I am.

So really, the question answers itself- what a slave wants is a man who inspires her slavish devotion.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 56
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