The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (Full Version)

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CarolineLA -> The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 12:21:22 PM)

Most of my friends are women; even when I go to play parties. When I'm with people it seems like no one really listens to each other. Everyone is more interested in what they have to say than the other person. I have so many friends that just talk my right ear off. I'm not saying everyone is like this because I've met people who authentically listens. It just seems rare to find someone who listens.

When I'm with a talker I tend to be quiet and more of a listener. I feel drown out by them. Like a sounding board for their voice. I don't matter or count. When I'm with someone who authentically listens, which is rare, I talk more and share more. Men are confusing because they will listen to you in order to have sex. When they get what they want they show a different personality. So I can only share my observations when I'm with women.

What is your observation? Am I terribly wrong?




MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 12:29:24 PM)

*sips coffee, thumbs through pages of the recent Northern Tool sale catalog*

Um, sorry...did you say something?



CarolineLA -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 12:41:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

*sips coffee, thumbs through pages of the recent Northern Tool sale catalog*

Um, sorry...did you say something?



EXACTLY!!! Lol....



jlf1961 -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 1:08:52 PM)

I have a few questions on this topic.

1) What if said talker falls into the human subspecies "Terminaly stupid sapiens" and stopped making any kind of intelligent sense after "Hello?"

2) When do you pull out staple gun and permanently attach the terminally stupid talker's tongue to the table/bar/wall/railroad tie? (in the case of the railroad tie, on an active track of course)

Or do you skip number two and go to the alternative of horribly painful murder and body disposal?



CarolineLA -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 5:24:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

*sips coffee, thumbs through pages of the recent Northern Tool sale catalog*

Um, sorry...did you say something?


Even quiet people seem not to listen, not just the talkers. When you converse with them they are thinking about their job, the news, etc.



dcnovice -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 6:15:04 PM)

FR

[image]http://media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com/736x/bf/f7/02/bff7021d0313af649b0e3c9e70635a2e.jpg[/image]



dcnovice -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 6:34:07 PM)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiPbr2V30NQ

Check out the hookers' wise exchange at 4:40. [:)]



dcnovice -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 6:43:44 PM)

One last tidbit.

The Rule of St. Benedict has been a spiritual tool for millions of people over the centuries.

Its very first word? Yes . . .

Listen



CarolineLA -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 7:39:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

FR

[image]http://media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com/736x/bf/f7/02/bff7021d0313af649b0e3c9e70635a2e.jpg[/image]


This is so true!!!!



jlf1961 -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 7:40:10 PM)

I listen very well, unless the person talking is spouting such stupidity, at which point I look for a way to escape... or a blunt object.



littlewonder -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 8:02:52 PM)

It's the me me me generation. Everyone is about themselves. It's why people pass someone who is hurt and don't stop to help them. It's why no one really cares about their partners. It's why we have the recession.

Not listening?

Not surprising.



sexyred1 -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 8:13:57 PM)

Agreed OP.

People don't listen or talk. They prefer blogging about themselves.

They are too busy, too attached to their devices and too self absorbed.

One of my old friends sent me a text last week that just said "HB!"

I said what? I realized she was attempting to say Happy Birthday.

I find that pathetic that she was too busy and could not type the words out.

So nothing surprises me. I am in sales, so listening is critical for me.

I also remember what people say, which is very helpful in all interactions.





CarolineLA -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 9:08:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Agreed OP.

People don't listen or talk. They prefer blogging about themselves.

They are too busy, too attached to their devices and too self absorbed.

One of my old friends sent me a text last week that just said "HB!"

I said what? I realized she was attempting to say Happy Birthday.

I find that pathetic that she was too busy and could not type the words out.

So nothing surprises me. I am in sales, so listening is critical for me.

I also remember what people say, which is very helpful in all interactions.





I hope she wasn't a close friend! Next Christmas text her, "MC"



MrRodgers -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/11/2014 9:20:33 PM)

Oh I agree, I tell people look, a conversation is you talk, I listen, I talk, you listen and I am mean listen. Otherwise what we are having is...not a conversation.

A friend regularly calls from back east, asks me questions about Vegas and how its going out here, the talks over my answer. I ask him...why did you call again ? I think it is a from of insecurity, afraid...nobody is listening. Too often after while...they are correct.



DesFIP -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/12/2014 5:22:06 AM)

Then why are you friends with them? Why aren't you picking for your friends the people who can listen? Why not make new and better friends instead of those who demonstrate they don't care?



ShaharThorne -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/12/2014 5:25:15 AM)

I tend to phase out...and mentally begging to get away.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/12/2014 6:42:58 AM)

I really think this is a matter of wiring, most of us are talkers, a few listeners. I do think you can teach yourself to be more of a listener or a talker, but it is difficult.




CarolineLA -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/12/2014 6:55:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Then why are you friends with them? Why aren't you picking for your friends the people who can listen? Why not make new and better friends instead of those who demonstrate they don't care?


I do have a few friends who do authentically listen but they seem hard to come by. These two are married and their husbands are jealous of how they spend their time so it's hard to meet them sometimes. It can be very challenging finding people who authentically listen.



Domnotlooking -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/12/2014 7:44:01 AM)

You can't listen to others very well if you aren't comfortable in your own skin. A good listener is always a person who has developed the skill and temperament of listening to his own heart first.

As to men feigning listening to get sex or whatever, has a single woman ever been fooled by this? If they were fooled, they wanted to believe what they wanted to believe.

But they knew…...



needlesandpins -> RE: The Lost Art Of Authentic Listening (2/12/2014 8:54:54 AM)

i'm a listener, but generally I find other people are just waiting for their turn to talk again, or they just talk over me until I stop talking. it's the reason I don't bother with a lot of people. I just can't be bothered with the ignorance. I have only one person that I feel I can actually talk to, and he listens. other than that I may as well be a mute.

needles



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