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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/14/2014 5:37:01 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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I tend to be blunt. I don't mean that to equal harsh but I have learned that those who can't handle blunt are those who cannot face looking in the mirror.

On occasion, I do mean to be snarky. But I know which I intend and I can't change who I am for people who cannot face hearing the truths they asked for.

I have a habit of asking people why they settle for crumbs, why they don't believe they deserve more.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/14/2014 5:59:53 PM

pg4g

Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
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Hmmm this is very hard for me personally, as it is for many.

Many traits of the man I most hate - my father - I see in myself. I grew up in a household where he was right, I was wrong, and his arrogance and lack of care ruled. He systematically tried to destroy my family by making himself the authority on truth. The only way to save yourself from this was either to accept it and stop caring and listen to everything he told you, and blame yourself, like my mother did, or fight back with an equally stubborn, arrogant, not-seeing-your-own-flaws arrogance. If you looked at your own flaws, the things he constantly pointed out, you'd believe him and fail. So I stood up to the wanker. And now I'm a similar arrogant, ignorant wanker at times.

This really hurts to look at. I almost ruined the man I love by not listening, and always believing myself to always be right. I almost completely ruined his self-confidence. But now keeping that in mind, I need to be careful not to be like that - to remind myself to listen, consider, and process before I reply considerately.

Still, it's not always easy. And looking at your own faults in a mirror are always pretty hard. Just sayin.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/14/2014 6:25:08 PM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
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In regards to online individuals, it takes me longer than some to distinguish who's a shiny cubic zirconium or the real deal. Or, distinguish a clam still grasping and hiding that inner pearl versus an empty shell. Part of it is, I simply don't care. It's too much work and not my job to distinguish someone's true intentions.

I can't necessarily say how one treats others is always indicative of their ability to look in the mirror, though. Perhaps unaware, a bit prickly than others, or some may very well be just plain meanie heads.

Yeah, we all have issues on some sort of level.
Some days, I like what I see. I'm exactly who I want to be.
Other days, not so much. On those very days, I'm more apt to be kinder to others. I enjoy making others happy as I can see the happiness I can't be at that moment. I'll live vicariously through them until I've been inspired enough to make the changes necessary to be able to look through that mirror again. It is avoidance. Stalling because of the difficulty of the task. It's my coping mechanism. A sort of step away, take a break, come back with a clearer mind type deal.

To a degree, I do care what others think of me. I would like to think I'm portraying the person I believe myself to be, which is a caring and loving person.
If, however, someone feels I'm faking my kindness in some way because of the lack of faith in humans, that person can suck an egg. If what I believe my true self to be isn't showing through my words, I would very much like to know that. In a constructive way.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/14/2014 6:31:16 PM

snappykappy

Posts: 616
Joined: 3/5/2005
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red very nice curly red hair grt profile pic

wishing u a omg-ridiculously-improbable-can't-f'n-believe-it-actually-
happened super duper fantabulous awesome gotta-have-it-now-can't-wait-
gotta-gotta-gotta-have-it-day
thomas michael
just a simple wish and a happy valentines

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/14/2014 7:22:54 PM

sexyred1

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Why thank you thomas michael...Happy Valentines Day to you as well.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/14/2014 8:44:00 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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~FR

When I began this thread I had hoped that the "shinies" would come, shine, and validate this thread... MAN WAS IT VALIDATED! I suspected that the Men and Women, boys and girls that had been here for a long time (yep, bet I'm driving you feckin nutz with all the historical CM shit.. Muhahahaha) would contribute their experiences, their growth, and perhaps the disdain they have for the muddy murky folk. Although disdain wasn't what I was after, I'm a prick and will/would take it.

In this medium it is very hard for me to extended the gratitude that I have towards each of you for your valuable contributions, nor could I begin to express the happiness your profound articulation within the theme of the thread has brought me. I anticipated LP's post, she always has my back when we are eye to eye, which we are often, but she can and will poke me in the eye when wrong. That's love, undeniable.

Most of the rest of you surprised me. It took great courage to swagger into "The trouble makers thread" and lay out the truth, vulnerable, nasty, this is going to leave a mark truth. I'm damn proud to be a part of this community, I always have been, pretty much since it's inception. I've watched CM ebb and flow, becoming a tight responsible, extended family, only to fall apart piece by piece as the next wave of newbies come along.but we do have some constants here that weather the storms.

I do have a habit of wandering in here and stirring the pot, tearing up cliques, dancing on the razors edge of the TOS, just to pull, and pool us back where we belong... We are a community. Many of us know the challenges that others are facing... Deep personal challenges that only brothers and sister share, not meant for the boards, but in the privacy of the "E-family". We bond, that's what families do.

My absence has been extensive this time, and I see that the petty kingdoms have sprung up. But more importantly I see boys and girls, Women and Men, holding onto and displaying integrity, regardless of the decay that darkens the door. Integrity is valuable to me, and to see you stepping up and showing us the monsters reflected in your respective mirrors, bespeaks vast amounts of integrity. We are human first, freaks second ;) my hopes for this community is renewed...want me or not, you have my respect.

Exiled

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/15/2014 4:31:00 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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What was your previous name?

Good posts ET, your not just a pretty scary face.
As for the high calibre of people to be found here, I'm also quite pleased to find it so, though rather confused as to how this happened on a internet sex forum.
This place is like a strainer that strains out the good, letting a lot of the riff raff pass quickly through.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/15/2014 8:12:25 AM

Rawni

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Aww Exiled... we knew you were all human. Then again... lol You're not bad being the beasty one either. Man... gotta love ya either way.

It is really great to see you here and playing with you.

(Did I just say that? Check my meds... oh, I don't take any, much to the dismay of certain people saying I do. ROFLMAO)

Sometimes right and wrong blend in a way. We don't always have all the facts and never know really, what is going on. Sometimes it is real easy to jump on something we believe or see thinking it is the way it is, yet, there may be much, much more to the situation. I am guilty of it. Hell, I know it all, but I don't. I can be wrong... really wrong, but I do try to live up to the code I hold in esteem. I fail, but I do try.

It is nice to see when we are self correcting and yet, it is nice to see that we don't blur so many lines too and know when to take a bull by the horns.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/15/2014 8:13:44 AM

AlexisANew

Posts: 103
Joined: 2/10/2014
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Friends are friends and I don't and never have felt the need to interact with them on the internet. That of course includes scene friends. I can do my fetish social networking on FL but even then I tend not to interact with friends other than by private letters now and again. I stopped using IC forums some years before it closed because I knew so many of the people on that site and I didn't want people agreeing with me just because they know and like me in real life and visa versa. This place has been somewhat anonymous for me. I'm just another person who debates and gives opinions without comeback! I never have to think, I shouldn't of said that because it might upset my mates or they may take it the wrong way. I know far too many fet people who know each other well in rl but have fallen out because they disagreed on an online forum topic.

If I look in the mirror I see two of me. One is a person who enjoys and loves the fetish and BDSM scene. A person who has friends, has earned respect and keeps her nose clean because I absolutely refuse to get involved in gossip and backstabbing. On the scene I feel loved and looked after.

The other is pixel on a screen. A person who comes on here and joins or tries to join in discussions. I'm not sure if this place truly reflects who I am. I think I show a lot more impatience and intolerance here than I do away from this place. Its certainly a place where I feel liked by some and despised by others so I suppose it feels more balanced because I'm judged on what I say and not on who I am as a person. Its far less personal.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/15/2014 8:59:10 AM

ExiledTyrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

What was your previous name?

The names change, but the insanity remains the same.

Exiled

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/15/2014 9:14:15 AM

kiwisub12

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One thing I have noticed consistently is that people face-to-face are a lot politer, more considerate, more considering in their responses and just generally more tolerant than when they interact on-line. I have a feeling that the shiny and not-so-shiny people are a lot less polarized in real life.

My snark factor is higher on-line because I don't see the back story of the involved individuals. It's easier to be self righteous when there isn't a human in front of you, and you don't have to live with the results of your snark.
With this in mind, I would be hard put to put something on the internet that really mattered to me. It really is a case of "value in, value out".

And just because I come across as a asshat on line doesn't mean that in reality, that's a true perception.

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/15/2014 10:08:13 AM

MisterP61

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quote:

ORIGINAL: snappykappy

red very nice curly red hair grt profile pic

wishing u a omg-ridiculously-improbable-can't-f'n-believe-it-actually-
happened super duper fantabulous awesome gotta-have-it-now-can't-wait-
gotta-gotta-gotta-have-it-day
thomas michael
just a simple wish and a happy valentines

she is cute ain't she

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RE: Through the looking glass - 2/16/2014 9:04:07 PM

sexyred1

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Sweet!

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Post #: 33