Healthy Addiction?

Healthy Addiction? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

Nukldo -> Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 1:13:13 PM)
Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this?

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 1:26:41 PM)
You sound like you need to get laid. Hire an escort and practice safe sex. Then stop watching porn or whatever else it is you're doing to get all worked up. You're in the military right? So you should be good at self discipline. Practice some.

pg4g -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 2:06:29 PM)
That was rather blunt, ChatteParfaitt! Haha But you are certainly right. Nukldo, this is not addiction - it's desire. Getting yourself worked up over something. You could call it dom frenzy, hormones, working yourself up. Either way, I recommend finding an outlet. For me, I punch a punching bag till I'm bleeding at the hands and have some sex if I can. You just need a way to release that coil in your head. Porn, fantasizing, etc all tighten that coil up. Definitely avoid that.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 2:32:23 PM)
~FR~ So basically, you're saying that you walk around randomly objectifying women who invade your sight-lines and you're wondering if this is healthy or if anyone else does this? Really? This has nothing to do with "being a dom". I think Chatte is right and you've been watching too much porn. How Do I Stop Objectifying Women? The Guys' Guide to Seeing Women, Not Objects How to Stop Inadvertently Objectifying Women The Harm In Treating Ourselves and Others As Sexual Objects

GoddessManko -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:04:01 PM)
Uhm, self induced chastity can do that. I face similar problems. You best bet is to find some sort of healthy outlet like the gym. You need coping skills for an unusually high sex drive. Sorry bub! :)

GoddessManko -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:05:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan ~FR~ So basically, you're saying that you walk around randomly objectifying women who invade your sight-lines and you're wondering if this is healthy or if anyone else does this? Really? This has nothing to do with "being a dom". I think Chatte is right and you've been watching too much porn. How Do I Stop Objectifying Women? The Guys' Guide to Seeing Women, Not Objects How to Stop Inadvertently Objectifying Women The Harm In Treating Ourselves and Others As Sexual Objects I thank you for those links, a few of my friends could use them (mostly vanilla). Let me guess, psych major? (pardon the presumption) :-)

sexyred1 -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:06:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nukldo Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this? I would be more concerned over getting worked up over random strangers. It would be better to channel all that intensity on one woman who likes it. Otherwise it's just creepy to be at the freezer section having some dude who is thinking of nipple clamps instead of veggies.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:08:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nukldo Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this? Thoughts are evil and must be controlled (preferably by governments) at all costs. Don't think this way, anymore. Wrong-thinking is punishable. Right-thinking will be just as quickly rewarded.

GoddessManko -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:16:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: Nukldo Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this? I would be more concerned over getting worked up over random strangers. It would be better to channel all that intensity on one woman who likes it. Otherwise it's just creepy to be at the freezer section having some dude who is thinking of nipple clamps instead of veggies. Such awesome advice, harder to come into fruition. It's honestly not fun to have a high sex drive, as cute as they make it sound or fun, etc if you don't want to hump every asshole that crosses your path but if he can control his urges through different outlets until he finds his destined one then he'll be fine. (One would hope, I have no idea how men are wired and thank goodness I'm not one) :)

crazyml -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:25:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr quote: ORIGINAL: Nukldo Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this? Thoughts are evil and must be controlled (preferably by governments) at all costs. Don't think this way, anymore. Wrong-thinking is punishable. Right-thinking will be just as quickly rewarded. Oh, settle down.

crazyml -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:31:35 PM)
Hey OP, We had a thread like this a good while back. Now, much as I might give offence to some, I have to admit that I regularly have days where I think bad bad things about women I see randomly. I'm pretty sure it'll be because I'm horny. So getting laid may well be the perfect prescription. Setting aside the paranoid nonsense about government seeking to control our thoughts, it only becomes an issue if you were to find yourself fighting an urge to act out on these thoughts/impulses. That would be fucked up. Governments are pretty ok with people thinking shit, it's when they do shit that things get gnarly. The only other advice I'd give you, is don't let this shit fuck with your work life. If you're a military officer, I'm imagining you've worked hard to get there, it would be an awful shame if horniness had an impact on your professional behaviour.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 3:34:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko I thank you for those links, a few of my friends could use them (mostly vanilla). Let me guess, psych major? (pardon the presumption) :-) You're welcome. Nope, not a psych major, but I do enjoy the psychological aspect of WIITWD. I also try to be aware of social issues and how the BDSM scene encourages and protects predators by legitimizing things like objectification of random women, and making them seem like a normal part of kink. If your established partner likes objectification and consents to it, that's one thing. When you're doing it to random strangers without their consent, that's creepy.

Nukldo -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 5:27:42 PM)
Not the responce(s) I expected but I appreciate the honest feedback and I am embarrassed. I have taken the advice to heart and have learned a great deal. Thank you.

crazyml -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 5:34:16 PM)
Hey, So this is a genuine question... Can you honestly say that you've never seen someone and wondered what it would feel like if he slipped his cock into you?

DesFIP -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 5:43:14 PM)
It's called frenzy. It's pretty common when you're new to this. It's like a kid being given 20 bucks and told they can have anything they want in the candy store. Obviously they don't think about stomach aches and cavities. But you are presumably an adult so you should be able to control yourself. Go work out. Volunteer. Do something other than think about your dick.

crazyml -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 5:49:00 PM)
Was that in reply to me or a FR?

smileforme50 -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 5:50:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nukldo Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this? It's times like this that actually make me feel glad that I am overweight.....there's a lot less chance of my being the one being looked at in such a way while I'm in the supermarket.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 5:50:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nukldo Thanks all for taking a minute to read this. Although I am not completely new to the lifestyle it has been laying dorment within for a few years and I have found this site. My trouble is that like an addiction the Dom that was buried inside me has surfaced with a vengeance. Every where I go I find myself looking differently at women. "How would that ass look with a few well placed welts on it" or "that ass is pretty small my aim would have to be good", or today at the freezer section of the grocery store, "what amazing nipples I wish I had clamps." Even when a was virgin newbe I did not thoughts like this. To top it off, I am a military officer and am being called "sir" all the time which really should not effect me the way it has the last couple days. Anyone else experience anything like this? First"...I had to laugh about the effect of being called "sir". I have always joked that I would have never made it in the military because I would be in a state of constant arousal with all those men making me call them "sir"[:D] Second..I have a really high sex drive (more like a guy than a woman's) so I understand those thoughts except mine are more along the lines of "oh...my....with arms like that I bet you could throw me down and....." Hey, as long as it stays in my head and I don't TELL the man I am mentally undressing him or objectifying him...than it is NOT crazy!! It is a whole other story if you become the old, crazy man who approaches young woman at the mall and offer to pay their college tuition if they just go in the dressing room with you for a minute! Last, some of us don't recognize what is "different" or that what we like/want is normal and something that interests others until we are older... When you first realize that it is POSSIBLE, it is the equivalent of the "kid in the candy store"-initially you want to sample everything and gorge yourself. The good thing is, that mature people hopefully have more self-control and ability to see the potential pitfalls...

LafayetteLady -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 6:21:32 PM)
I'm with CrazyML here. We are all guilty of "inappropriate" thoughts at one time or another. If thinking sexual thoughts about someone we find attractive but not acting on them comes down to lack of consent, then everyone on the planet is a criminal. For a vanilla person, a girl (as crazyml said) might think about how a good looking guys cock might feel. Does she get his consent first? No. Is she "objectifying"the guy? Sure. A vanila guy might think about a girls lips on his cock or how tight her pussy is. Does he ask her if he can think this about her first? Of course not. Objectifying her? In the literal sense of the ter, yea. Kinky people think kinky sexual thoughts. It is no more actinging without consent than the above examples. To say the OP is doing so...well it is taking feminism a bit too far. How about people who when they are alone and decide to masturbate think of some hot person that crossed their path? Should we berate them as well? Chatte hit the nail on the head here. The OP needs to get laid. Unles and unttil he attempts to act on those thoughts with strangers, he is doing nothing wrong. Of course if his mental fantasies are dtrimental to his daily life, a problem also. Just one other thought...do all the dommes here with photos honestly believ no guy has pulled up mental pictures of you for their spank bank?

pg4g -> RE: Healthy Addiction? (2/14/2014 6:24:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss First"...I had to laugh about the effect of being called "sir". I have always joked that I would have never made it in the military because I would be in a state of constant arousal with all those men making me call them "sir"[:D] Trust me, it gets old quick. [;)] I worked in an office with just male officers all day for the last year. Sir, sir, sir, sir, salute when walking past, sir, sir. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the idea of rank. If I was to get into the D/s side more, I'd probably either want to be treated just as a superior or subordinate military rank. And then the superior fucks the subordinate [:D] hehe.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625