DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (Full Version)

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dcnovice -> DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 7:21:36 PM)

February 18, 2014
Hostile Abdomen


Dear Ones ---

My Philadelphia story didn’t end the way I wanted.

This afternoon, my parents, a dear friend (my chauffeur du jour), and I met with the surgeon who evicted the dread MiMA back in October. As you’ve heard—and heard and heard—an E. coli infection set in, creating what surgeons call a “hostile abdomen.” The bacterial buggers destroyed a fair amount of colon tissue, greatly upping the difficulty of returning my plumbing to normal. Meantime, a “low-grade” infection lingers and will likely remain until we take “definitive action.” The docs at Georgetown, you may recall, used that same phrase.

So what constitutes definitive action? Well, the options bring to mind an episode of Let’s Make a Deal. The known option is, yes, a permanent colostomy—the very outcome I’ve spent a year trying to avoid. Or I could take what’s behind Door Number One. That would be the far-from-certain outcome of having the surgeon go back in and take his best shot at reconnecting my colon to the anus. That might work; it might not. Even if it works, urgency would likely become a life-long issue. If I understood correctly, that’s because I’m down about a foot and a half (out of seven) feet of colon. Some of that went when MiMA did; some was damaged beyond repair by the infection.

Trying again, the doc explained, would be a “marathon.” I’d probably be looking at another year of recovery, especially in the all-too-likely event of infection. His counsel—first tacit, then explicit—was to “bite the bullet” and get the colostomy. Given that his whole career, drawing on the pioneering work of his surgeon father, has been devoted to helping folks avoid ostomies, I know his recommending one means it truly is what he considers the best option.

Going the colostomy route raises the question of whether to have it done in Pennsylvania or D.C. I see pros and cons to both locations. There’s a lot to be said for sticking with the guy who knows my innards better than anyone else. But I know from experience that being in the hospital is worlds easier in your own city. Not a decision I need to make tonight, mercifully.

My reaction to all this has been interesting. I might have thought such news would shatter me—and that may yet come—but it actually brought an odd peace. An answer, even one I dislike, slices through the fog of uncertainty that has shrouded me for so long now. And I’d had a pretty strong sense before today of what answer I was going to get, so it wasn’t a shock.

One of my first thoughts, left unvoiced, after Dr. Marks left the room was, “Well, shit. Washington Hospital Center could have done this last February!” And that’s true. But that would have left me with decades of doubt about whether I’d given up too easily and failed to turn over the right rock. Now I know, to borrow from St. Paul, that “I have fought the good fight” (2 Tim. 4:7). I explored the options and made what seemed the best decision at the time.

My next step is to consult my oncologist for his counsel on what to do and where. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Meantime, I have two requests of you all. First, many of you will have medical questions. Please don’t share them with me. I’ve told you what I know, and repeatedly saying “I don’t know” is wearing at best. Second, you may know folks who’ve had an ostomy and gone on to “live a full life.” That’s great, but I’m not ready to hear about them now. Thanks for understanding and honoring these quirks of mine.

Thanks even more for the love you’ve given me and my hostile abdomen all through the good fight!

Cheers,
DC




DesFIP -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 7:29:58 PM)

I'm glad you've come to a point where you can make peace with this outcome. Hoping wherever you do it, it goes well.




TheHeretic -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 8:12:36 PM)

That sucks, DC. You'll be in our good thoughts.




shiftyw -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 8:26:28 PM)

I haven't posted before but I have been following.
<3 wishing you the best of luck.




sexyred1 -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 8:26:44 PM)

That sucks, DC. I can only say I am sorry for what you continue to go through and if you want to chat, let me know.




MisterP61 -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 8:28:36 PM)

dc... best to you and peace. You went the way you HAD to go for yourself.




DomKen -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 8:32:14 PM)

I'm so sorry. I'm glad you have made what peace you can.





TNDommeK -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 10:48:17 PM)

Warm wishes and love




MistressDarkArt -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/18/2014 11:51:13 PM)

DC, if it's any comfort, I think you took the right path. Adjusting won't be easy in any respect, but I'm just glad you are still with us.

As always, I wish you the highest. Please hang in there, bro.




LadyPact -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/19/2014 12:15:16 AM)

It may not have been the answer that you wanted, but an answer, when accepted, can be the right thing.

Personally, I'd probably pick the hospital closer to home. Those visits from friends and family mean an awful lot, and I'm kind of a wuss.

Peace is a strange concept. It can happen when least expected, at times. Oddly enough, I'd probably feel the same way.

Thank you for the update. Please post when you can.




Rule -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/19/2014 1:06:41 AM)

You are in my thoughts.




ExiledTyrant -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/19/2014 8:08:31 AM)

Other than being moralless support for you here, what's your favorite Hot Wheel and where can I send it?

Exiled

P.S. Matchbox maybe... SW action figure... Oh, GI joe with the Kung fu action grip :)

P.P.S. I don't do flowers or candy, toys last longer.




hlen5 -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/19/2014 2:12:38 PM)

My thoughts are with you.




LafayetteLady -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/19/2014 7:01:48 PM)

I'm sorry for your news. But you have a good head on your shoulders and you made your decisions based on your hope, which was the right thing to do. Now finish gathering all this new information and make the decision that is best for you. Please don't dwell on whether you should have made that other decision earlier. You didn't and its water under the bridge.

You can only move forward as best as you can, adjusting to circumstances as they present themselves. Cry, scream, vent and do what you need to do to clear your head. Then move forward as best you can. I have faith you will make the right decision for yourself and come out the other side.

Good thoughts and prayer for you always.




dcnovice -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/19/2014 7:44:44 PM)

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE

February 19, 2014
“…of the rest of your life.”


Dear Ones ---

“We tell ourselves stories in order to live,” Joan Didion wrote. And sometimes, I’ve discovered, we do it—or at least I do it—without realizing what’s happening. Today brought awareness of my latest subsonic tale. Since October, I’ve handled my ileostomy bag hundreds of times, draining the “appliance” throughout the day and replacing it at least every few days.

And now I’m interrupting my own story for a linguistic tidbit—exactly the sort of digression I’d edit out of anyone else’s prose. Last time I saw the ostomy nurse at Georgetown, I cracked that the term “appliance” sounds as if I’m smuggling a microwave under my shirt. She laughed and explained that the usage had gained currency because insurance companies shell out more readily for an “appliance” than for a mere “bag.”

Anyhow, back to my own bag. Each or most of those hundreds of times, I think I consoled myself deep down with the whispered assurance that it was all only temporary. So it was a jolt today to face the reality that the appliance and its accoutrements—protective seals, potions to clean and protect the surrounding skin, the vital bottle of “biological odor eliminator,” and the stylish man purse that holds it all when I leave the house—are indeed permanent. Today, I realized, really was the first day of the rest of my life.

Bleak though that sounds, two thoughts pierce the shadows. The first, so obvious that I forget it for weeks on end, is that I will have a rest of my life. Not every cancer patient gets that.

The second is that a colostomy (which I will have) is reportedly more user-friendly than an ileostomy (which I have now). Because the output emerges later in the digestive process, it’s more solid. Some colostomy owners, moreover, can train their bodies to expel waste at roughly the same times each day. That can allow one to wear a simple cap over the stoma rather than tote a bag around. It’s important to stress, though, that I won’t know for probably months if those options are available to me.

The rest of this “first day” went well. I made it to work and excitedly took possession of the Samoas and Thin Mints I’d been dreaming about. I wrote part of a profile of the woman who heads the Smithsonian’s institutional-history team. That was fascinating! And I had a yummy dinner with a dear friend. (When the doc asked yesterday about my appetite, I said, “It’s back with a vengeance!” That mildly startled him.) Perhaps best of all, the calm and lightness of finally knowing what awaits me continue to lift my spirits.

I hope your day went well too, and I thank you as always.

Cheers,
DC

P.S. Yes, I know that cookies aren’t my best-ever food choice. It’s a bit of pleasure after a year that was pretty lean in that department. Besides, I’m strictly rationing them: No more than one box a day.





ShaharThorne -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/20/2014 2:24:22 AM)

Thank you for supporting your Girl Scouts troop...I just wish they take debit cards...LOL!

Seriously, take good care of yourself. I'll keep the candles burning for you.




needlesandpins -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/20/2014 2:26:55 AM)

thank you DC for your continued updates. I'm sorry you are not getting the out come you hoped for, but in your situation I would have done exactly the same as you. I can't live with 'what-ifs?', but I get that those choices work for some.

I've also learnt that the simplest foods can be the very best when you've not been able to have them, so I hope you enjoy your cookies.

hugs, and well wishes to you.

needles




LafayetteLady -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/20/2014 9:09:07 AM)

I can't think of anyone who has "earned" some yummy (samoas are the best!) Cookies more than you. Enjoy!




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/20/2014 9:31:27 AM)

Best wishes for it all, DC.

And I know it's been said before, but I seriously hope you are saving all these updates with the possibility of sharing them with the wider world one day. You are so articulate and have such a lovely balance of honesty and hope that these writings would make a huge difference to people who might be walking in your shoes in the future.




MisterP61 -> RE: DC Update: Hostile Abdomen (2/20/2014 9:38:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

P.S. Yes, I know that cookies aren’t my best-ever food choice. It’s a bit of pleasure after a year that was pretty lean in that department. Besides, I’m strictly rationing them: No more than one box a day.



Better man than I. Just saying. I love Me some snacks (apples are not snacks) and My belly seems to be growing (all pun intended) fond of them as well. Have a blessed day dc.




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