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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:38:34 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

So here are the two messages I sent, this is the first time I've ever sent a second to an ignored message before you criticize me for that.
Y'all have proven yourselves over and over again that my introductory or approaching skills are pretty bad. So criticize these, but since I voluntarily am showing y'all what I presume are mistakes. Please don't tear me apart. Constructive criticism or points of view are all I'm looking for

Honestly, it's not a bad introduction. There are a few typos and grammar mistakes, but it's still very readable. My personal view is that discussing sexual preferences or limits shouldn't be done in an introduction because it's basically discussing sex with a complete stranger and you wouldn't do it as you shook someone's hand for the first time. But, that's just my personal view point, ymmv.

I would say from that Intro, that either you just didn't meet her search criteria or she's one of those people that thinks the intro should be all kink and instant submission or the profile is fake and the vanilla portions of your Intro didn't provide a enough wank factor.

Without seeing her search criteria, I can't say definitively that you did nothing wrong, but it certainly doesn't look like you were out of line with your Introduction.

You are correct that the second message would have been better left unsent, but since you already acknowledged that, I won't say anymore on the subject.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 2:40:13 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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Okay, I'm going to offer some help, I do hope you use it, because I won't be back. This is from Epictetus:

"There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs. Now, the things within our power are by nature free, unrestricted, unhindered; but those beyond our power are weak, dependent, restricted, alien. Remember, then, that if you attribute freedom to things by nature dependent, and take what belongs to others for you own, you will be hindered, you will lament, you will be disturbed, you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you take for your own only that which it really is, then no one will ever compel you, no one will restrict you, you will find fault with no one, you will accuse no one, you will do nothing against your will; no one will hurt you, you will not have an enemy, nor will you suffer any harm. Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself any inclination, however slight, towards the attainment of the others; but that you must entirely quit some of them, and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would have these, and possess power and wealth likewise, you may miss the latter in seeking the former; and you will certainly fail of that by which alone happiness and freedom are procured. Seek at once, therefore, to be able to say to every unpleasing semblance, "You are but a semblance and by no means the real thing." And then examine it by those rules which you have; and first and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are within our own power, or those which are not; and if it concerns anything beyond our power, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you."

I'm linking some books that will help you, far more than kink books. Read them or not, it is not my concern, but they are here.

http://www.philaletheians.co.uk/Study%20notes/Living%20the%20Life/Marcus%20Aurelius'%20Meditations%20-%20tr.%20Casaubon.pdf

http://huron2.aaps.k12.mi.us/smitha/HUM/PDF/Epictetus-1.pdf

http://athanorakademie.de/dateien/Shakespeare-CompleteWorks.pdf

Jus sayin
Exiled

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 7:29:56 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

I absolutely hate W(w)hen a profile directly says "send well thought (out) message(s) (comma) more than one or two sentences or (comma) be deleted.

(Paragraph)

And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically (deleted redundant spuriousness) the same."

(Paragraph)

So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained (explaining) who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also (she requested that I) attach one photo (comma) I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would (have) of been delete (comma) unread (comma) fine (comma) life sucks (even with my abundant, remarkably adept assistance, this sentence makes absolutely no sense).

(Paragraph)

But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast. ("An" is used as in "an historic", I suspect you meant "and")....the rest of this sentence also made little to no sense. Sorry.....I was somewhat unclear....what I meant to say was....it was a grammatical example of someone lacking measurable capacity.

(Paragraph)

And Dommes on here wonder why so many subs don't send more than 2 or 3 sentences... It's due to the lack of respect and appreciation.

Could very well be. It could also be that your sentence structure is at best, confusing, at worst, inept.

No Domme owns me, so there should be mutual respect till a D/s relationship establishes. (I'm done....this one actually hurt my eyes).

Granted a sub should never lose control or composer to a Domme no matter what...

Composure.

I've assisted above with grammar, sentence structure...and such.

I've given my all in this.

From here, you'll actually have to read a dictionary.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/20/2014 8:22:25 PM >

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 9:54:01 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

I absolutely hate When a profile directly says send well thought message more than one or two sentences or be deleted.
And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically the exact same. So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also to attach one photo I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would of been delete unread fine life sucks
But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast.

I disagree with you, dude. I mean would your life really have been improved by her writing back, "Thanks, but you're not my type."

And the reason dommes don't do that is because the recipients of said brushoff often get angry or want to know why you're not their type.

You decided to write someone. That doesn't obligate them to respond. Just move on.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/20/2014 10:05:33 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

Hey good morning Miss, so I read every bit of you're profile and there's not one thing disagree with and completely want a Female Led LTR. I know we are a good min away, but I also noticed you listed "willing to relocate" as do I. So if we got to know each other and wanted to pursue this then I would make it work. So I'm a I'm a Marine, I'm currently about to get my real estate license in 2 weeks (also makes me able to relocate easier if need be), I'm looking for a dominant partner who I can trust completely give up all control to. Like you I want what happens behind close doors stays behind close doors. But in public I would still show utmost respect. I believe in female superiors so I would never top from the bottom. Vanilla interest are most outdoor activities or anything that gets my adrenaline going. I've been told lately an a creative art side of me has been coming out. I want to live by the beach one day, and traveling if say is my passion. Only hard limits are findom/ tributes (I can spoil but until a mutual trust is created and met in person) Kinks? I just like pure submission and a constant sign of dominance over me by the woman I'm serving. I'm pretty assertive to friends. So I'm not a doormat just submissive to my owner and for whoever she wants me to be to. I have fantasies of chastity for orgasm control. And have fantasized about forced fem but never acted on it. I hope I covered most things and hear back from you soon! And I've never spent this much time on an into message to a Domme so if you aren't interested please atleast message to tell me that. At the very least I'd love to just chat and get to know you even if you don't see us going anywhere. I think you're amazingly gorgeous and hope to hear back soon!!

Dude, there could be lots of reasons she didn't respond. She hates marines. She hates traveling and the outdoors. You aren't physically her type. She doesn’t like guys who tell her their fantasies. Just because you got all revved up by her profile doesn't mean she feels the same way. She doesn't owe you anything, but you're acting like she does just because you decided to send her an unsolicited letter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker
I'm sorry to message again but seriously you directly ask for a wealth thought message and I get that you probably weren't interested but a reply back goes along way. Most subs on here send one or two sentence messages because they don't even get a response back. Again sorry and hope you find what you are looking for, I was just looking forward to hearing from you

Frankly, now you're getting creepy. In your first letter you wrote, " At the very least I'd love to just chat and get to know you even if you don't see us going anywhere." Why would someone want to waste their time chatting with you if they aren't interested. But this second letter begging for a formal rejection is just stalkerish.
Just accept that she doesn't owe you a response and move on.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/21/2014 12:20:38 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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Go to a much, meet people in person, if anybody here approaches me for more than chat and talks about relocation, I'd run, it's a first message, you letter sounds like the equivalent of the girl who already picks out the names for the kids during the first date. Slow down!

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/21/2014 7:49:02 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Check out some of the 'Ask a Mistress' threads to hear what manure showers up on us when we reply with 'No thanks, good luck.'
So I reply only to exceptional msgs from men yet who don't meet my minimum requirements of being single, straight, local, subs. Otherwise it's like being bombarded by a cloud of whiny midges and their pwned rebuttals: my current favourite being: 'I'm straight!' with a profile photo of his being spit-roasted.

First impressions *are* critical, so consider changing your username, too, unless that's your sport instead of your beverage.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/21/2014 7:55:15 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

I absolutely hate When a profile directly says send well thought message more than one or two sentences or be deleted.
And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically the exact same. So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also to attach one photo I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would of been delete unread fine life sucks
But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast.
And Dommes on here wonder why so many subs don't send more than 2 or 3 sentences... It's due to the lack of respect and appreciation.
No Domme owns me, so there should be mutual respect till a D/s relationship establishes.

Granted a sub should never lose control or composer to a Domme no matter what...

I understand op, you take the time to personalize the message with no response, and feel its rude with zero reply, and frankly it is. No thanks takes about 15 seconds to send total on a bad day. WIth that said, maybe the individual isn't even active on here or come on frequently. I wouldn't get upset about it, frankly its an easy answer, by not getting a response. NEXT.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/21/2014 9:18:57 AM

SweetAnise

Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
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To the OP, IMOP men (master/subs/switches) have a very difficult time hearing No. Whether the person responds kindly, intelligently, with humor, or not at all the person is in a catch 22. Damned if they do and damned if they don't. I would suggest the following just grow and evolve from this. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will agree with you. Not everyone cares.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/22/2014 9:22:02 AM

MsGypsey

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/23/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

I absolutely hate W(w)hen a profile directly says "send well thought (out) message(s) (comma) more than one or two sentences or (comma) be deleted.

(Paragraph)

And then you will get excited because what we are seeking is practically (deleted redundant spuriousness) the same."

(Paragraph)

So I send a 2 to 3 paragraph letter explained (explaining) who I was, what I sought, vanilla interest in dating and a brief interest in kinks. Also (she requested that I) attach one photo (comma) I attached 4.

And no reply......

If it would (have) of been delete (comma) unread (comma) fine (comma) life sucks (even with my abundant, remarkably adept assistance, this sentence makes absolutely no sense).

(Paragraph)

But don't ask for a special message and not give an "not interested" atleast. ("An" is used as in "an historic", I suspect you meant "and")....the rest of this sentence also made little to no sense. Sorry.....I was somewhat unclear....what I meant to say was....it was a grammatical example of someone lacking measurable capacity.

(Paragraph)

And Dommes on here wonder why so many subs don't send more than 2 or 3 sentences... It's due to the lack of respect and appreciation.

Could very well be. It could also be that your sentence structure is at best, confusing, at worst, inept.

No Domme owns me, so there should be mutual respect till a D/s relationship establishes. (I'm done....this one actually hurt my eyes).

Granted a sub should never lose control or composer to a Domme no matter what...

Composure.

I've assisted above with grammar, sentence structure...and such.

I've given my all in this.

From here, you'll actually have to read a dictionary.

Since others might miss it, I just want to acknowledge the effort, dedication, and patience it took for you to attend to the grammar in the OPs text. It did not go unnoticed.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/22/2014 2:02:20 PM

JohnyWalker

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Thank you again I'm learning a lot, for some of the newer posters on this thread most of you're critiques have been brought up and understood, I don't usually get mad at that, it's usually annoying or maybe a little let down but that day idk what happened but I snapped and ranted. Before you say that's not a sign of a submissive or something of the matter. Keep in mind you don't know my life, my stressful situations daily, or anything really about me. So while I've learned a lot unless you read the thread and post something new please keep ignorant remarks that have been addressed to yourself.

To the ladies who I learned something from in a respectful manner thankyou for you're thoughts

(I use an IPHONE so grammar while might be important isn't something I don't already know is flawed in my writing)

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/27/2014 1:11:35 PM

GoddessBlueKura

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Joined: 2/13/2014
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Ok what I don't understand is the "willing to give up all control to". Yet I want to have rough sex? I'm just wondering would you give that up too? Also since you're a switch when exactly does that dominant side come out? I know I've seen the Dom/Domme couple but I've often wondered how they make it work unless they have other partners. I have yet to see two Doms together that were mono and not playing with others.

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/28/2014 8:31:06 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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Heck ... I was on Match.com once with the six month guarantee ... got about five responses in a year .... a year, you say? Yes, I got 6 extra months free because they could not match. LOL

The point is: men chasing ladies online has little chance of success.

When you are looking for Dominant Women ... it is even harder ... the odds are even stacked against you .. hugely!

But if you educate yourself in what they desire (Doms want submissiveness), read profiles, and write letters focusing on Her needs and desires .... you have a better chance.

Also ... make sure your profile is right .. when you hit them in the right way with an email .. they do look at your profile before responding ... its important! So do check out the advice on writing one.

Then, if you get 6 responses a year ... well, you must be hot!

Don't cry about it.

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Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

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RE: My one Pet Peeve with a Domme from CM - 2/28/2014 11:19:37 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnyWalker

Thank you again I'm learning a lot, for some of the newer posters on this thread most of you're critiques have been brought up and understood, I don't usually get mad at that, it's usually annoying or maybe a little let down but that day idk what happened but I snapped and ranted. Before you say that's not a sign of a submissive or something of the matter. Keep in mind you don't know my life, my stressful situations daily, or anything really about me. So while I've learned a lot unless you read the thread and post something new please keep ignorant remarks that have been addressed to yourself.

To the ladies who I learned something from in a respectful manner thankyou for you're thoughts

(I use an IPHONE so grammar while might be important isn't something I don't already know is flawed in my writing)

Fair enough. But keep in mind you are marketing yourself online, and all these comments you make in threads can be seen. So you might want to ask yourself, if you write to a dome and she clicks on your profile, are the messages in this thread how you want to present yourself? If so, cool.

< Message edited by seekingreality -- 2/28/2014 11:20:11 PM >

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