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coming clean.... - 7/6/2006 8:49:09 PM   
Sublime5446


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		hey ive been reading around from forum to forum and post to post.
and ive been noticing that alot of people on here have serious problems with people who are/ have been drug users. not going to elaborate on "drug users" just think of w/e drug comes to mind. what im gonna say here is that i was once in that boat, been out of that boat for over a yar now) but the point is you cant judge people entirely on one thing about them, you cant judge people by(obviously) the color of their skin, their religion. but i guess its ok to judge people on if they do drugs or not. sure its good not to. but just because someone does drugs, does not mean they are a bad person, alot have had bad experiences in their lives, thats what it was for me. if you acutally talked to me then, i was still the same, unjudgeing, nice person i am now and always have been. its impossible to get people to change their stereo-types, and i can understand if you abhor drug users for a personal reason, but please dont condemn them, at least try and help them, if someone is a user (of anything) putting them down for that isnt going to help them out, and chances are its not going to make you feel better about yourself.

even if everyone hates this post, even if no one responds or cares, please think about this and try not to judge so harshly, anyone, not just users, try not to judge at all.... even if its just for a day, an hour, even 30 minutes of your day. (im writing this in memory of an ex-user friend of mine who took his own life because people would not be accepting.) this might sound like babbling, maybe its just me talking out of grief, or anger of how crappy this world seems some times. respond with your thoughts, good or bad, ive heard it all before, just write what you think whatever it may be.

writing this in memory of you man, wish i could have been there for you when you needed me....but i wasnt, ill probably never forgive myself but im going to try to get people, even if its only 1 person, to be more accepting, its worth it.

~~~heres to all the times we shared, the good, the bad, the highs, the lows....wish you were here to share this weight with me now, because it unbearable~~~

ill always remember man.....
~~~R.I.P. Jona~~~ 7/3/06

Submissively,
Stiz
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: coming clean.... - 7/6/2006 10:02:27 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I had serious drug problems for years.  It was with multiple illegal drugs, certain pills and alcohol.  I am honestly ashamed of myself then.  Sure, essentially drug users are still the same people, somewhere deep down, but how deep should we all be willing to dig to find the good in someone?  When does the bad outweigh it?

I had a lot of friends who weren't as fortunate as I am and couldn't pull themselves away from their addictions and from the party type of lifestyle that often comes with the package.  I can honestly say that somewhere hidden they were all good people.  I can also honestly say that I'm a damn sight better off without them.  When you've kicked it and you're finally clean and trying to do the right thing, you realize just how assanine some of the behavior you participated in/ they still participate in is.  You just can't be around it, and to some extent your tolerance for it wanes. 

I'll be very honest, with the extremely rare exception of the intelligent very occasional light marijuana user, I have no respect for those who use drugs.  I've been there, I've done that, I used to sell the friggin' t-shirts, and I couldn't even respect myself in that situation.  Most drug use is ignorant and sad, if only for the lifestyle it is condusive to.  I view those that feel the need to drink as a crutch with similar pity.

So there's my honest opinion, for what it's worth.  I know you can't judge a book solely by it's cover, or a person solely by one action, but you can make a fair guess.    

Now to get to the crux of the matter...
I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  My prayers are with you and his family.  Believe me when I say that I understand how you're feeling.  If you need a sympathetic ear to talk it out to, feel free to e-mail me.

< Message edited by NakedOnMyChain -- 7/6/2006 10:06:27 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/6/2006 10:18:43 PM   
Sublime5446


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		thanx for ur reply naked,
he didnt really have much family, those he had care, but thats only a few.
if i feel the need to talk, which i may, im glad to know i got sum 1 to talk to

submissively,
Stiz

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/6/2006 10:23:19 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Hey, no problem.  And it's always better to have just a few who really care about you than a bunch who never care enough.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Sublime5446)
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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 12:19:44 AM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		I tried all sorts of drugs over a few years time way back when. Some I liked, and tried many times. Others just once or twice.
Maybe once a year or two I do one particular drug.( aside from the legal booze and smokes ).

At that rate, it is nothing but a fun treat. But those that have been seriously addicted can be scarey and less stable seeming than those who have not. Booze included in that addiction catergory. Relapse is a very real thing. And many folks are concerned about developing a deep relationship with that possibility.

But as in all things. You should not judge the total person by one or two things. Or by their past. People can overcome anything. And someone who has been squeeky clean in every way, can suddenly go haywire on you.

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 12:42:41 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I wouldn't get involved with a current drug addict, but all of my previous serious relationships have been with former drug addicts who quit.  It's not necessarily judgemental to not want to be involved with a serious substance abuse as it seems to take over the addict's life until they are really not enough there for you to have a true relationship with.  They are having a relationship with their addiction for the most part.  I also can't see how there can be sane & safe control in the hands of a person whose mind is boggled with substances a large part of the time.

That is not to say I don't have sympathy and caring for people in this situation, but helping someone as a friend is much different than getting romantically involved with, and dependent on, someone who's not yet in control of themselves.

(in reply to Kedikat)
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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 1:00:07 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I would imagine that it would depend on what drug a person was using, and if they were an addict.
The fact that someone is a heroin addict doesn't necessarily make them a bad person, but it would definitely (and rightly so) force me to make some judgements about them.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 1:55:46 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I think anyone who would condemn you for that is just not worth your time.
I cannot drink alcohol. I haven't had any in over 20 years. And it hasn't always been easy to stay away from it, either. If anyone has an "issue" with that - it's their problem. I don't care if other people drink and I can be around it, but no way am I going to try any, or "have just one" - if anybody asked me to, I'd just have to leave. I know what it can do (to me).

I think it's the same (w/some caveats) for former drug use. If someone wants to judge you for that - especially if you've worked and are working hard to stay clean - then to heck with them.

I think in some way I know how you might feel. I had a close cousin who died of a cocaine overdose three years ago. I do miss him.  

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/7/2006 1:59:29 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 2:07:28 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		"At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time."

Friedrich Nietzsche
 
To lose anyone is harsh reality and one which we all will suffer from time to time.. to lose one in such a manner is harsh anguish. I'm saddened by the loss of a unique creature such as is a human.
 
I wish you well and that you can embrace the memories of laughter shared.
 
Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 10:24:00 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I wonder what the responses would have been if the op had been talking about being a cigarette smoker instead of a drug user? Would everyone be so understanding? I don't think so.
By the way, I am not a smoker. 

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 10:34:48 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		some of the brightest minds have done drugs.

kudos to you for taking control of your life.

keep up owning you-owning your day. be aware that the wrong crowd can pull you down.

i never inhaled..... ;-0

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 3:17:47 PM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		Cigarettes are definitely a drug.
I am an addict. I quite cold turkey for 3 years and relapsed.
Here's an idea I wrote to the government health folks.
The tobacco companies created more nicotine laden cigarettes, so it stands to reason they could do the opposite. Breed lower nicotine tobacco. Develop nicotine removal methods.
Over the quickest period possible ( plant breeding schedules) or a set rate for nicotine removal, they should be forced by law to lower the nicotine content of smokes. At some point it would be far easier to break the addiction, and be left to cope only with the habitual part.
I included the fact that some day folks could be sueing the government for not doing such a thing.

I encourage all to write such things to the appropriate government branch.

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: coming clean.... - 7/7/2006 5:51:28 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		How about quit smoking or don't start to begin with?

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/8/2006 10:39:49 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I wonder what the responses would have been if the op had been talking about being a cigarette smoker instead of a drug user? Would everyone be so understanding? I don't think so.
By the way, I am not a smoker. 


I'm a smoker and all i ever hear is you are 'killing yourself' and yep i probably am. My choice though.
I have not got a problem with people who take drugs but neither do i have sympathy for them - its an addiction just like smoking is which kills.
I'm very sorry for your loss sublime but everyone knows the effects of drug use and few people tolerate it.
Maybe a little harsh but if i die of lung cancer due to smoking id have noone to blame but myself, not those around me who didnt tolerate my smoking or those who wudnt accept it.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/8/2006 11:45:19 AM   
ArtimisBlack


Posts: 154
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		To the OP:
Addiction is a terrible thing, no matter what it is you're addicted to. My heart goes out to any who have lost someone to it.
To Everyone:
Do you lump all drug users in the same boat? Do you consider someone who smokes pot the same as someone who uses heroin? What can accept/absolutely not accept?

_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

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RE: coming clean.... - 7/8/2006 2:49:27 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Like i said each to their own but dont look to me for sympathy when they know something is bad for them but go ahead and do it anyway.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to ArtimisBlack)
Profile   Post #: 16
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