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Book Recomendation Question - 2/25/2014 2:19:44 PM

palecriminal

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I've read some of the books in the suggested reading sticky thread and enjoyed them. I wanted an opinion. I have my own, but curious about others. I'm male, in a hetero relationship. Long story short, it's clear that our bedroom play has been moving into a BDSM-like direction even since before I read BDSM books to understand what it's all about. I'd like to expand her horizons by having her read about the full world of BDSM and see what she thinks.

Question: If you were in this situation, what would be the book(s) you recommend giving to your sub-leaning hetero woman as an intro to the full world of BDSM?

Thanks!

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/25/2014 2:58:34 PM

LafayetteLady

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How about having a discussion with her first, then showing her the book list and seeing what she is interested in reading?

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/25/2014 3:29:31 PM

TenderTorment

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Far too much good literature out there for me to point any particular out, as already mentioned let your partner choose what appeals to her, alternatively why not turn the book idea upside down and begin your own book together, fill it with aspirations, wants, likes dislikes and so forth, maybe even throw in a few fictional stories, or memoirs of things you have experienced together, a little more hard work than reading for sure but can be very rewarding and constructive.

Either way have fun.

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/25/2014 3:32:50 PM

Blonderfluff

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There is a chapter in The Loving Dominant that is written for exactly this scenario. I believe the chapter is called " So your partner is Kinky"

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/25/2014 4:31:40 PM

ResidentSadist

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I think Different Loving by Gloria Brame might be good for that. She has interviews with people into a wide variety of kinks in the book. I don't know if it is the best book to try and get a beginner turned on over something, to inspire a kink that isn't already there, but if she already has kinks, it will help her see what they are called and how other people enjoy it.

Otherwise most erotic novels that inspire a passion are usually focused on one or just a few areas, not the "full world of BDSM". Like the Beauty series or Market Place series that are the birth place of many peoples M/s or D/s interests.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 2/25/2014 4:32:08 PM >

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/25/2014 8:08:34 PM

DesFIP

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I wouldn't want my partner to hand me a book and say "read this". I would want him to be able to talk to me.

To say "you know honey, lately sex has been getting wilder. Which I love, but I wonder what else you would like to try. I want to try x".

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/26/2014 5:13:52 AM

palecriminal

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My intent was that she read a book and we discuss the book while she progresses through it, not just dump it on her and wait for a book report when finished. So far my favorite is "Screw the Roses". It's both funny and informative, and it's very thorough. Some things in the book I like, some I don't. But I figured thorough is good so one at least is informed and can consider something and think if it's interesting or not, which is better than being uninformed. I'll look into some of the books above.

Oh I should add, not sure what one considers beginner or not, but... When I suggested we get a ball gag, she surprised me by seeming to know more about them than I and didn't flinch at saying yes. That's why picking something not-so-subtle like "Screw the Roses" came to my mind.

< Message edited by palecriminal -- 2/26/2014 5:17:34 AM >

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/26/2014 5:51:32 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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Different Loving is one of my all times favorites which you could read together. Or perhaps have her read to you and then you can discuss chapter by chapter?

There is a *lot* of info in this book.

Screw the Roses is a good intro to BDSM, but doesn't have the in depth relationship material that Different Loving has.

The Loving Dominant has some excellent chapters and some so-so chapters, but all in all a good book.

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/26/2014 9:06:30 AM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I think Different Loving by Gloria Brame might be good for that. She has interviews with people into a wide variety of kinks in the book. I don't know if it is the best book to try and get a beginner turned on over something, to inspire a kink that isn't already there, but if she already has kinks, it will help her see what they are called and how other people enjoy it.

I agree with this, if only for the fact that it's one of the few books on BDSM that I'm more than passingly familiar with, as one of my slaves, then married to the late Jon Jacobs, edited the book some time ago. Having flipped through its pages several times out of mere curiosity, I think it does well to give a general overview of BDSM practices. I consider it worthy as a primer for someone new to the world of fetish, bondage, and sado-masochism.

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/26/2014 11:23:30 AM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: palecriminal

My intent was that she read a book and we discuss the book while she progresses through it, not just dump it on her and wait for a book report when finished. So far my favorite is "Screw the Roses". It's both funny and informative, and it's very thorough. Some things in the book I like, some I don't. But I figured thorough is good so one at least is informed and can consider something and think if it's interesting or not, which is better than being uninformed. I'll look into some of the books above.

Oh I should add, not sure what one considers beginner or not, but... When I suggested we get a ball gag, she surprised me by seeming to know more about them than I and didn't flinch at saying yes. That's why picking something not-so-subtle like "Screw the Roses" came to my mind.

Sounds like the two of you are already down the path, and she's amenable so I'm sure any non-fiction BDSM classic will do to get the conversation started. I would just add one thing. I would give her two books - one non-fiction (like Screw the Roses, or others that people have mentioned), and one fiction (e.g., Beauty Trilogy, Story of O). While the fiction should absolutely not be confused with reality, fiction can tap into deeper desires extremely effectively. While the non-fiction can be an excellent "how-to" and work to dispel fear and myth, the fiction can work to really spark inspiration and creativity. I am someone who responds much better to fiction than non-fiction as a source for passion/inspiration. (By no means am I suggesting the fiction should substitute for the learning proper and safe technique - just trying to think of ways to excite the mind, especially as this is someone you are already involved with). Whatever you do, please play safe.

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/26/2014 12:18:01 PM

kalikshama

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While I enjoyed it too, because of all the pictures, I often recommend "Screw the Roses" for men :)

I also like "The Bottoming Book." How about you show her the booklist and let her pick the one(s) that resonates with her?

For fiction, "The Marketplace" is my favorite.

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 2/26/2014 5:31:19 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: palecriminal

I've read some of the books in the suggested reading sticky thread and enjoyed them. I wanted an opinion. I have my own, but curious about others. I'm male, in a hetero relationship. Long story short, it's clear that our bedroom play has been moving into a BDSM-like direction even since before I read BDSM books to understand what it's all about. I'd like to expand her horizons by having her read about the full world of BDSM and see what she thinks.

Question: If you were in this situation, what would be the book(s) you recommend giving to your sub-leaning hetero woman as an intro to the full world of BDSM?

Thanks!

Any.

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RE: Book Recomendation Question - 3/1/2014 7:02:19 AM

palecriminal

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Wanted to follow-up with a thank you to the guy who recommended "Different Loving." Just started reading it and am loving it. I wish I had read this before "Screw the Roses." Initially it's seeming like a better book for understanding the fundamental concepts and desires that drive BDSMers, vs. "Screw the Roses" having a stronger focus on how-to techniques and bedroom ideas.

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