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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/7/2006 11:44:43 AM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
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I think commitment is commitment, however it is defined by those involved... all the "material" symbols are just that. My diamond ring came off easily when I divorced...

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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/7/2006 11:59:21 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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As a Domina and a mother who has been married.

I have to agree with a being a Mother 1st,while I am not techinally married as Maine doesnt
observe same sex marriages,I tend to put that(marriage) before being Domme.

Not to say I'm not kind of always in Domme mode,but I tone it down(best I can) when
its something to do with vanilla life things.

I dont see a difference in that they are both contracts W/we enter into willingly.
The one difference is its easier(legally) to to leave a Master/Mistress than it is to get divorced,not to mention cheaper.

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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/7/2006 10:30:24 PM

BitaTruble

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From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shareinnc

I'm looking for some input on definitions/roles here. What do you see as the difference between an owner and a spouse (specifically a male heterosexual owner and a female heterosexual slave relationship dynamic).

I view a Master/slave relationship as authority/power control based whereas a husband/wife relationship is an equality based partnership.

So, for me, one has the designated authority as an intrinsic part of the dynamic and the other has the designated authority as an option which may be taken by either partner at any given time.

Celeste

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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/7/2006 11:24:40 PM

Lordandmaster

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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Well, you might not like this answer any more than "spouse denotes legal status," but--it depends on the relationship. No two marriages are alike, and no two master-slave relationships are alike either. I think you might do better to work through what the difference means to YOU in YOUR relationships, and worry less about what the difference is in general.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shareinnc

I'm looking for some input on definitions/roles here. What do you see as the difference between an owner and a spouse (specifically a male heterosexual owner and a female heterosexual slave relationship dynamic).

I'm hoping for a little more than "spouse denotes legal status" as I understand that concept. I know there's a difference I am simply having a very hard time putting it into words and hope some insight from others might help.

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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/8/2006 7:31:45 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gardenbluebird

Don't gloss over the importance of marriage as both a legal and a social entity. As a legal entity it give one the right to inherit property without taxation, it gives one the right to make medical decisions when your partner cannot speak for him or herself. Without it family can even bar one from visiting a very ill or injured partner. Also, it makes life a whole lot easier when unmentionables are involved. On the flip side an irresponsible spouse has the ability to ruin your credit and cause severe damage to other family relationships. This type of damage can happen in other relationship, but it gets a whole lot uglier and more difficult to control when it's your spouse. In day to day life in a healthy relationship it may not make a big difference, but when the sh** hits the fan it makes a world of difference.

As far as a social entity it makes a partnership a union that is recognized by (nearly) all members of society. Depending on ones work and social environment this can make a big difference as to how people are treated. As much as people like to think that it's US against The World, it is quite frankly an easier situation when The World supports the partnership.

In 99% of cases a marriage represents a way of life, not just a relationship. A Master/slave relationship may not be easy to walk away from emotionally, but the partners may or may not live together, and depending on the circumstances ending it could be relatively straight forward. Ending a marriage is never that simple.

I'm sure that many will disagree with me, and that's fine. This is just what my experiences have led me to believe.

I agree with you. These are the reasons that Master decided to marry me. He wanted to make sure that I was protected if anything happened to him. It also goes the other way. If something were to happen to me, he'll be the one making the decisions.

I think there's a difference when owner and submissive get married vs. people that were married before they decided to get into D/s.

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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/8/2006 7:41:34 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

I think there's a difference when owner and submissive get married vs. people that were married before they decided to get into D/s.

I have to ask. Explain what you think the differences is please.

I married my Master; after the marriage our relationship did not change one bit. So I am quite curious as to your answer.

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RE: Owner vs. Spouse - 7/8/2006 8:22:19 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

I think there's a difference when owner and submissive get married vs. people that were married before they decided to get into D/s.

I have to ask. Explain what you think the differences is please.

I married my Master; after the marriage our relationship did not change one bit. So I am quite curious as to your answer.

In most of the cases that I've seen, people that are already married and then get into D/s tend to be people that were looking to add something to their marriage. It's a relationship that started as equal footing and has then tried to switch into D/s. In most of the cases that I've seen, they never make it into TPE simply because of how the relationship started.

Now, there are a few that work wonderfully. I know of one where they're blissfully happy. It doesn't mean that TPE has to be the goal or that if it's not TPE, it's not D/s.

It's just my view that people that go into marriage as a D/s couple will be virtually unchanged by the addition of marriage.

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