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MsPurrmeow -> RE: Dommes who arent (11/21/2004 10:55:32 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mistress Phe
I respect a sub.
What I dont respect is a submissive who comes across as "uber submissive" but who also thinks I am on tap 24/7 to fuffill their fantasies.
For me to connect with a sub its best to make that connection outside of a BDSm setting because simply the ones I meet in a BDSM setting I dont have alot of liking for
From your statement above, we seem to have similar philosphies. Unfortunately, for many of the new folks that are just dabbling outside the vanilla world, the idea of acting responsibly does not fit their fantasy of the "Cruel and overbearing Dominant" that will inspire instant submission out of them. Most people do backpeddle quite vehemently when they realize that they have to do some of the work in the relationship, too.
One of the worst misunderstandings that makes our life difficult is when people think submissive means that they do no work and no thinking and just lay there and "take" all the pleasure we want to give them. I wish I knew how to change that. I've come to the belief that if they are serious enough, eventually they will try to figure out why they are getting turned down.
As for those other "dommes" who show no respect, some of those are new people, too. They are working on the belief that it's how they have to present themselves. Yes, some are users and predators, just like any other roles, but if it doesn't work for them, they'll stop. If it does work for them, then obviously they fit a niche that I won't go near. Humiliation and degradation are intense kinks for some people. The idea of a happy vanilla sit-down isn't what they want.
Just my thoughts. I hope they were helpful.
Purr
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