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Rawni -> RE: etiquette question (3/6/2014 3:35:24 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: littlebuck
Thank you Rawni.
I have done that and it works! Finally I can get the picture matter resolved. Hopefully now I have the profile matter settled but alas, there is always room for improvement.
Now let's return to the original intent of the thread, shall we?
We live in the 21st century; it is not 1950 all over again. Gender views have drastically changed. While chivalry is not dead (hopefully) the role of women has greatly increased in the work place, relationships and world view (most of the world anyway). So to all the dominant women out there: as a dominant woman, do you wish to select your own male sub/slave or have him make the decision by him initiating contact with you?
The original intent that you had as you posted the opening of this thread was an etiquette question and comments on what you have experienced. So by how you worded things, most everything I can remember about this thread, pertains to the topic and what our input is that answers a number of things you address in the original posting. So getting back to the topic doesn't apply here. Thank you for the attempt at correction though.
Chivalry... in the past brings certain pictures to my mind. Personally, I believe that chivalry... respect, honor, kindness, etc. are something that most people should have, no matter the gender. Women are not like children of days of old that were to be seen and not heard and we started being heard the minute women rose up and decided they'd had enough of being chattel or cherished, all tightly placed in societies little box. Because women started rising and expecting a different place in society and those of us that have maintained an expectation of better treatment and living situations, does not mean that we were asking to take on another role. It was freedom to speak, to work, to chose, to be all that we could be in whatever it was we wanted to do in life.
How people do things may be a result of many things, but to expect a certain behavior other than respectful interactions with the general public, is bringing that little box right back and shoving people into it. We all do it in some way, however that doesn't mean much in the big picture. Expecting women because they are dominant, to take on the role of initiating contact because they are ever so domly and should do that because that is what men did, doesn't fit my life the way I want it to. I like a more relaxed flow to things where people of any gender may make contact and typically believe that those that make contact are either being pro-active in what they seek or want or are the one that finds it most important to do. When you have a need to be first to make contact, you will do it. When there isn't a need, I don't see many people taking action because they don't need to. It should have nothing to do with a role or characteristic.
I do not need to seek and if I did, I would. I am open to people contacting me and I have contacted others, but I may not be contacting to make a connection that fits into a box so to speak. I do not seek just one thing.
I select the people in my life and a man contacting me doesn't mean that he is selecting me. I do not default to a man being chivalrous by making contact with me as I don't see it as chivalry or anything else close to that. Old concepts don't really work for me in the gender specific expectations that many hold true. I have my own view. One of the biggest things I have had to work with my partners in is expectations. Do not expect me to act the way you think I will. You would need to know me very well to know that and then I might even blast you with something new just to show you that I can, I will and you can expect that. It is best to simply ask me rather than to assume you know. You can expect I will not like clear actions to maneuver me into a position to react the way you hope I will. I assure certain respect, etc. with my partners... but after that, don't plan or think you know what I will do. You can't know unless you are me.
Will she hit the right or the left cheek? ROFL... you will not know, but I can see that tail end and the tightening in expectation and you may be surprised how that won't work. Do I really have to chose between the two? Oh hell no... I can stop, I can do soft or hard or tickle... everything varies. So when it comes to waiting for me to make contact, coming to my profile to get me to respond because you won't or can't because of some ill gotten perception of what is expected... it won't work well for most. I don't want to be chased and I will not chase. I interact with people and that is the only expectation that really matters... is that people can interact freely and be received just as freely and the ultimate goal, motivation or end result really has nothing to do with it unless you know the future and the person. Just because one person makes contact... doesn't mean anything more than they wanted to make contact. Anything else is most likely projection.
Edited to fix quotes ~ Chi
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