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new to this site - 3/4/2014 11:10:26 PM   
goodfellas27


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/4/2014
Status: offline 		hi everyone, i'm new to this site and have chatted with few people.i am male dom and want conversation/relation with sub females. i just don't know how to use this site effectively. also invite for chat option does not seem to work (at least for me). most people do not accept/reply. experienced members can give some advice.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: new to this site - 3/4/2014 11:51:21 PM   
LadyMondenschein


Posts: 88
Joined: 12/1/2009
Status: offline 		Go to home page, scroll down to  search parameters, put in that you're seeking a sub...and then use the pulldown menus to narrow your search, make sure that you specify an area..up will come a bunch to choose from..look thru 'em..messg. the ones that you like & watch out for fakes.

Have fun.

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 12:08:55 AM   
goodfellas27


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/4/2014
Status: offline 		thanks for ur advice. i did it. because i am new so i sent messages for many people and now i'm blocked. plus most female doesn't accept chat invitation. i wonder if it possible to find a partner through this site.

(in reply to LadyMondenschein)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 1:31:30 AM   
LadyMondenschein


Posts: 88
Joined: 12/1/2009
Status: offline 		So, you just sent random messages to a myriad of people without taking the time to read each one and make each one feel like you actually had any interest?  Bad idea..you need to put more effort into your search. It IS possible to find a partner on this site, but it's not going to happen overnight.

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 11:20:27 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMondenschein

So, you just sent random messages to a myriad of people without taking the time to read each one and make each one feel like you actually had any interest?  Bad idea..you need to put more effort into your search. It IS possible to find a partner on this site, but it's not going to happen overnight.


He ignored that my profile says that I'm just here for the forums, so it goes beyond making each one feel that he had actual interest. Ignoring what women say in their profile and emailing them anyway means you get marked as spam.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyMondenschein)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 11:39:01 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

also invite for chat option does not seem to work (at least for me). most people do not accept/reply.


Receiving a chat invite from a random guy annoys a lot of women. When I first joined the site, I did accept a few, but they turned out to be all from HNGs so I stopped accepting them. Wait until you have started a conversation with someone, and then ask her if she wants to chat. Or, check out VidChat.

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 11:40:06 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

i wonder if it possible to find a partner through this site.


Sure, many people have hooked up through this site, including me.

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 11:44:27 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		OP, spamming people won't really help, additionally the chat request isn't really "an offer they can't refuse".

The thing you should keep in mind is, the female subs on this site aren't submissive to you or just anybody, they are submissive to the person they deem worthy of their submission.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 2:28:43 PM   
ExquisiteStings


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, what Lady Constanze said. Op, make the effort to not only look at the photos of the ones you think you like, but be proactive in reading their profiles so you'll know ahead of time if any overtures you're thinking about making will be welcome or not.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 2:30:12 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		He got me, too. OP. You should READ profiles. Send a moderate, informative and thoughtful message. Go for quality and not quantity.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: new to this site - 3/5/2014 7:29:39 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I have been involved with a few men I met on here (in fact...this is my preferred "hunting ground"). That being said...I do not respond to generic messages (I figure they are the equivalent of receiving a "dear occupant" circular in the mail) and I don't do chat.

Chat befuddles me...what amount of conversation can you have with someone you have never met beyond... "Ready for winter to be over?" Or "ready for the weekend?" It would take longer to accept and type a response then the length of the conversation would be. Until you know someone, chat is "party small talk" without the chance of other people joining in...don't even get me started on the men that think "chat" means "help me get my rocks off" by talking dirty. (Hey...if I had that kind of talent I would be charging by the minute and running 2-3 lines at one time )

I looked at your profile, and to be blunt, you come across as desperate...you appear to want ANYONE-sub women, men, switches, couples, joining poly family.... Your profile; however, is nicely written. Take the time to read individual profiles in your 25-50 mile radius. Find ones that intrigue you enough to craft SPECIFIC questions and observations, THEN approach those people. Keep it to 2-3 lines...
It is a longer process for men but most of the women (like in everyday life) are seeking good men that express an interest in them.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: new to this site - 3/6/2014 1:38:42 AM   
goodfellas27


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/4/2014
Status: offline 		Receiving a chat invite from a random guy annoys a lot of women.
[/quote]

yeah. as soon as i joined the site i received about 5-6 messages and few chat invitation. so i thought this is the way to use this site and i also sent random messages/chat invitation. now i know this is not a chat/msn site. now i am reading profiles and seeing what other person is looking for.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: new to this site - 3/6/2014 1:51:41 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		Good, it looks like you're learning.
That's always a good trait.
I believe that the most effective use of chat would be after reading someone's profile to get to know them over cmails,
and then to move on to chat, so that you do not have to give them your regular chat name so as not to be annoyed by someone who turns out to be someone who you would not want to be annoyed by. That sounds silly I know, but nothing is worse than realizing that you have given someone a way to contact you who is not the type of person you would carry on a conversation with after a few minutes.
Good luck.
Reading profiles is like doing your homework, there are a lot of profiles that you will find will stop you in your tracks.
It does help to find out which tree your barking under.

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: new to this site - 3/6/2014 3:11:05 PM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		Hello and welcome and it looks like the lovely ladies ahead of me have giving you some great advice, glad to see it has helped you out some already. As far as meeting some one here...it sure can happen......I found the love of my life here. so with patients it can happen.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: new to this site - 3/6/2014 10:13:33 PM   
goodfellas27


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/4/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

I looked at your profile, and to be blunt, you come across as desperate...you appear to want ANYONE-sub women, men, switches, couples, joining poly family.... Your profile; however, is nicely written. Take the time to read individual profiles in your 25-50 mile radius.


why only 25-50 mile radius. i see many people are willing to relocate if they find a suitable partner. i do agree with you this will make my search and work easy to read profiles of a limited area and group.
i'm single now so yeah i am little desperate. though i made profile in a hurry and thought i would update it later. now i updated profile and other areas of profile.
thanks for visiting my profile. i appreciate your friendly words and advice.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: new to this site - 3/7/2014 3:38:29 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'd rearrange your profile a bit, you know, less what you want but more what you have to offer (that you are caring, etc.), after you said for the 1st time that you are looking for submissives, they get it, it's fine that you're not into needle play, but why put it as one of the first things? It's not like everybody here is into needle play, and take the thing out about leaving the email address, that's what most spammers do and some people don't want to give out their email before they got to know you a little bit.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: new to this site - 3/7/2014 4:56:26 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Welcome to the discussion side of CM Good. You can learn a lot here so please feel free to jump into our discussions.

If you're serious about finding a partner, I strongly suggest you get out into your local scene. You're in NJ, which has many groups to choose from.

_____________________________



(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: new to this site - 3/7/2014 5:05:06 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I'd rearrange your profile a bit, you know, less what you want but more what you have to offer



I fully agree with this, if only more people would realize that a relationship is less what they want and more of what they have to offer.


_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: new to this site - 3/8/2014 3:08:39 AM   
goodfellas27


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/4/2014
Status: offline 		Thanks LadyConstanze. you are really very nice. i will rearrange my profile considering your valuable advice.
this forum and discussion board have these amazing friends who are willing to help other members. now i am happy i joined this site.
i am reading other discussions/threads also. at present i am reading this thread dedicated to gorean life style. i am going to actively participate in discussions with all you members.


< Message edited by goodfellas27 -- 3/8/2014 3:09:39 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: new to this site - 3/8/2014 5:50:21 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Don't ruin my reputation ;)

I sent you a message where I tried to rephrase your profile a bit, have a look if that would work for you

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to goodfellas27)
Profile   Post #: 20
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