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My Own Rant - 3/5/2014 8:38:36 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
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Probably no question here...just my rant. I have been MIA recently because I have been struggling with this...

As a female, I have gotten to the point where I recognize men that are "anti-female" despite the fact they are chasing women :-). They are the men that hate or mock everything about women (yeah..there are women that do the same to men but this is MY rant and I am a girl so....)....we are shallow, we spend too much time shopping...we only are interested in men with money..we are too emotional..can't drive..take too long in the shower or doing our hair... At the ripe old age of 40, I am no longer bothered by this.

What has been bugging me is that I have been getting that same feeling with how dominants feel about subs. Both male and female doms talk about how they appreciate subs, how great it is to find subs that follow and accept being submissive, how much they respect us...BUT then...they mock those of us who are easily pushed around, those of us that can be bullied...they don't get that some of the choices we make that, to them, seem to be "the easy way out" or "being lazy" are us accepting other people's decisions or needs. I have been accused of being "dumb" (despite an above avg IQ, a BS degree in finance, a lengthy career climbing a corporate ladder), being a "bad parent", being not as smart as my dog (since I can be pushed around by my kids AND my dog). Yes, I admit that I prefer to NOT engage or argue so I bow out. I admit I apologize to people even when I am right because..who really cares whether it snowed on Mon or Tues last week? I admit that I don't question authority figures because I believe they are right...

There are all different types of people and all different types of subs and doms and every lock has its own key...but why do so many of the doms seem to enjoy mocking those that are timid, those that don't argue or fight? I get that many doms want subs that are only submissive to them and then run roughshod over every other person in the world but..guess what???there are only so many of those types!!!

Anyway...just my two cents and observation (heck...I probably won't even read any responses because I don't want to hear how many people tell me that I am too needy, too much of a doormat...and how the "perfect" sub is actually a Dom). I had to get this off my chest though..

Post #: 1

RE: My Own Rant - 3/5/2014 8:44:26 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

Knotts
My opinion? Those D's ( along with anyone else that mocks others ) are insecure, small people who need to make themselves appear bigger by trying to make others look smaller.
We know better. We've just learned to smile, and when they walk away, we internally stick our tongues out at them.

Cuz we are mature and shit....

Don't give anyone the power to make you FEEL less, just because they try and TREAT you as if you are less.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 2

RE: My Own Rant - 3/5/2014 8:45:44 PM

flotsamzincia

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/30/2014
Status: offline

You're not alone ;)
A lot of your words also described me, though I am so "bad" I can't even consider posting a rant about it because it might end up with me being "flamed" ;)

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 3

RE: My Own Rant - 3/5/2014 8:54:15 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I think this is a matter of degrees, as with so many things.

I would never dream of ordering food for my lady in a restaurant. What she puts into her body (as long as it isn't detrimental to her health or illegal) is no concern of mine. Certainly I make suggestions but, that's it.

Some would find my last paragraph to be "weak" and some would find it to be good. It's why there's eight horses in a race.

You use some interesting words/phrases. "Pushed around", "bullied", "dumb" are all (in my opinion) relative terms.

My lady can be (and has been) easily "pushed around". I watched it happen (very briefly), when we first met. Does it "bother" me? Well, yes. However, I never mocked her for it. I did what I could to make her a bit more self-confident. I watched as a timid - almost scared - lady has now become someone who is still fairly acquiescent but has some pretty firm boundaries. They may be close boundaries but they are inviolable.

The one issue that I do have to be negative about (and this is only my opinion) is parenting.

In my view, parents must dominate their children. It is imperative because, "children" presupposes that they have no life experience of their own so their decision-making has a 50-50 chance of being flawed (higher, really. I was being kind).

Also, as parents we want to impart certain things on our children that they have no way of learning and may even be in defiance of.

Did any of your children ever want to investigate the nice little electrical outlet that every child seems to be so fascinated by? I know mine did. Those little plastic plugs be damned; at some point, the children learn what their fingers are for and those plugs get pried off. Do you allow them to investigate the outlet or do you do something to stop them?

With the exception of parenting (and even with that to some degree), I think it comes down to a matter of tastes and what works for people. I know that my lady would feel very weird if I ordered for her (but that's one of those boundaries that she and I have worked on).

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 4

RE: My Own Rant - 3/5/2014 9:02:33 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

I'm becoming disinclined to have that term associated with me...
lately I've seen the term "Dominant" being use to describe people with "fragile egos" as well as those who seem to become assertive only around timid people, apparently at the expense of the latter...

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530 DAYS

(in reply to flotsamzincia)

Post #: 5

RE: My Own Rant - 3/5/2014 9:54:40 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

meh. I get it all the time that I am dumb, bad parent, stupid, all the stuff you mentioned. I personally just roll my eyes and walk away from them. They simply don't bother me. Even before I met Master, I just walked away because like you, I hate confrontation. My boss gets annoyed when I apologize for things at work even when I know I'm right. It's not because I feel guilty or bad about something. I just don't want there to be some kind of confrontation afterwards so I stop it in its tracks with an apology. It soothes the burns of some people who anger easily. I just want to be left alone and not bothered by their craziness.

Yup. I'm told I'm weak and I tell them that yeah...I AM weak. Why is that such a bad thing? I have come to hate the new "women are strong" party line that seems to be popular anymore. And honestly, it makes me wonder about Doms who say they don't like when a woman doesn't fight back and they are only turned on by women who are are strong. I wonder who's really pulling the reigns then if you have to have someone always fighting you back? I mean, to me, I want a dominant man so I DON'T have to fight and be strong and I would think that the reason a Dom wants a slave is so that his life is easier, not more difficult. Isn't it easier when she simply does what you tell her without all the struggle and fighting and arguing and such? That would tire me the shit out. Hell, it DOES tire me out which is why I don't do it.

So do as I do. Walk away. Ignore them. Be happy with who you are and don't worry about towing the party line.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 6

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 4:00:06 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

We all are jigsaw puzzle pieces.

Do we fit and if so how?

By complementing each other in some way if different in some way, or by being identical?

_____________________________

"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 7

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 4:52:44 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

I don't have time right now to put my full 4 cents in on this topic, but I did want to make one comment.
-------------------------
Knotts..... I haven't been on these message boards for very long and I don't know you except from your postings I have read, but even from that small piece I know of you, the absolute LAST word I would use to describe you is "dumb". That right there tells you that those "doms" aren't worth the air they breathe.....and are the truly dumb ones.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 8

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 4:57:38 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

they mock those of us who

Who are these "they?" Avoid them.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 9

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 5:15:47 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

I don't like confrontation, either. There's nothing wrong with it!
I prefer to be chill and walk away. In my eyes, it shows restraint. I have a lot of restraint. It takes a great deal to get me to fight, argue, or even get mad. Again, nothing wrong with that. I pick my battles because quite honestly most are not worth my time or energy. Fighting is not what my life is about.
It's who I am and I'm quite proud of it.

The people doing the mocking are doing you a favor by showing who they really are, what they really believe.
Sometimes, they may even be doing so to cover up their own insecurities.
They don't understand our logic or personality and come up with their own names for it.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 10

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 5:25:08 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Okay. Let me answer your question with another question.

Why would a man call himself a Dominant?

In my case, it's because I want to be in control. Also, I like to cause a victim, er woman, pain mixed with pleasure. Or pleasure mixed with pain.

Some other men call themselves Dominant for the wrong reasons. They saw some porn and know that women who call themselves subs will suck a Dom's cock on command. And they all look like porn stars. Those folks are simply HNGs and are easily spotted and dealt with.

How about the ones that are small, and want someone smaller to push around? That seems to be what you just described - someone who wil prey on a submissive's desire to submit, and use that to exploit them.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 11

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 7:13:32 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

I don't have time right now to put my full 4 cents in on this topic, but I did want to make one comment.
-------------------------
Knotts..... I haven't been on these message boards for very long and I don't know you except from your postings I have read, but even from that small piece I know of you, the absolute LAST word I would use to describe you is "dumb". That right there tells you that those "doms" aren't worth the air they breathe.....and are the truly dumb ones.

What she said.

Of course, if you could predict the winning numbers for the mega millions tomorrow, and pass them to me, well that would make you almost a god.

But still, you are far from dumb, you are probably are one of my favorite posters here. Intelligent, lots of common sense, and one who maintains a level head on her shoulders.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 12

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 4:19:47 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Don't get me wrong..no one (well recently at least!) has called me dumb..usually it is statements like, "well, who is smarter...you or the dog" or " are you stupid? why did you not stop/say something back..." Or "it is just stupid to NOT demand/force...." It s also not just ME, I see statements people make when a sub admits to capitulating or bowing to pressure...when they get pushed or just trampled over because some people know they will NOT put up any resistance and it is not just on this site...I also see it in the vanilla world where men will talk about how they are looking for a woman who is "easy to get along with" or is "laid back" or who does not always have to be right...but then the COMMENTS they make about people who ARE that way are just mean!!

It just often seems that people in general do not respect those that do not fight back. It it seen as a character default to not be demanding, shrewish or confrontational. Like I said...my own observation and experience.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 13

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 4:40:54 PM

slavekate80

Posts: 362
Joined: 7/4/2013
Status: offline

Assertiveness is a personality trait. Different people have different amounts of it and in different situations. There are SOME situations in which I can be assertive - if a cashier overcharges me, you can bet I'm going to say something and get it fixed, though I'll be polite about it. But in most others, I won't. It's because asserting one's own desires/will has some social or personal emotional cost as well, and we all have different tolerances for how much we're willing to "pay" to get our way. I tend not to care much about whether I get exactly what I want in a situation or not, and I am very sensitive to the cost of inconveniencing or annoying others, so I usually give in.

It doesn't mean people with low assertiveness are dumb. It means we're less picky about exact outcomes, and/or more likely to suffer if we think we've bothered someone else. Like anything else, there's good and bad to it. It's good for keeping the peace and not picking fights over little stuff. It's bad when we're hypersensitive to others' feelings and blame ourselves for bad feelings that they didn't even (or wouldn't even) have, foregoing good experiences out of misplaced fear.

< Message edited by slavekate80 -- 3/6/2014 4:42:06 PM >

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 14

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 5:02:25 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekate80

Assertiveness is a personality trait. Different people have different amounts of it and in different situations. There are SOME situations in which I can be assertive - if a cashier overcharges me, you can bet I'm going to say something and get it fixed, though I'll be polite about it. But in most others, I won't. It's because asserting one's own desires/will has some social or personal emotional cost as well, and we all have different tolerances for how much we're willing to "pay" to get our way. I tend not to care much about whether I get exactly what I want in a situation or not, and I am very sensitive to the cost of inconveniencing or annoying others, so I usually give in.

It doesn't mean people with low assertiveness are dumb. It means we're less picky about exact outcomes, and/or more likely to suffer if we think we've bothered someone else. Like anything else, there's good and bad to it. It's good for keeping the peace and not picking fights over little stuff. It's bad when we're hypersensitive to others' feelings and blame ourselves for bad feelings that they didn't even (or wouldn't even) have, foregoing good experiences out of misplaced fear.

There was a thread sometime back (I think) started by a Dom because he was saying he was frustrated because every time he asked a submissive what she wanted, she would say something like "I don't care....whatever you want". He wanted a definite answer...."I want to have Italian tonight" or "I want to have Asian tonight' but all he ever heard was "Whatever you want". This is exactly how I am. Someone will ask me what I want to do and 99.9% of the time I will say "I don't care....whatever you want". That's not because I'm intentionally trying to please them or get along with them or not ruffle any feathers. It's because I really don't have any preference. I don't think that's says that I am "weak" in any way. I just think it means I'm flexible and open-minded.

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to slavekate80)

Post #: 15

RE: My Own Rant - 3/6/2014 5:25:02 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

I agree with you Knottss.
I've seen it to on here, and everywhere.

I've been called "spineless" because I'm the kind of person who doesn't get pissy, and I tend to just withdraw myself from arguments or confrontation/pick my battles. To me there is a difference between spineless and knowing when to walk away.

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 16

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