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Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 6:58:47 PM

LorraineCA

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I'm taking several classes, mostly in Law Enforcement and Sociology. One of the sociology classes touches on the subject of online dating.

Many men believe that women have better odds then men on dating sites.
1. For example, John can send 30 emails and receive 0 responses while a Jane will receive 30 emails.
2. So Jane has the opportunity to meet 30 different men whereas John won't be able to meet anyone.
3. Jane has better odds than John in meeting people.

This is what the Professor had to say, well, at least how I interpret it. And this is just one of the reasons. Let's say both John and Jane are two mature adults who aren't that interested in the physical, but rather, the personality. They are looking for someone who listens, understands, comprehends and knows how to communicate. It's important to them that the other person expresses their feelings and they are honest and faithful.
1. More women than men are more than likely to have these qualities.
2. So if John actually met 100 different women he would find women who have these qualities.
3. If Jane met 100 different men the odds are she wouldn't meet any man with those qualities.

Generally speaking, and although not all true, most men who have these qualities are probably already in a relationship and one wouldn't find him on a dating site. In other words, not all men on dating sites lack these qualities, but more women have them than men on dating sites. I hope I'm making myself clear.

I was curious how many people would agree with this, or disagree, or would add to it.

< Message edited by LorraineCA -- 3/8/2014 7:04:23 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:13:48 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
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I think the professor needs to create a few profiles and find out about what he is teaching.

Jane may be able to meet more men than John is able to meet women, but how successful is it if none to few of the men have the qualities that she seeks?

The men with those qualities are most likely in a relationship and wouldn't be on the sites? ROFLMAO! Oh yes they are and I am writing a book about it. When I am done, shall I send a link to the professor?

So I agree women get more email and have more chance at meeting men... who are not likely to have what she seeks... but there are a few that might, married or not. But I don't agree that any of this is success as I would define it. Which is also rocket science.

Men and woman are different and that there is rocket science at its finest. What we do with that depends on how we can use those differences to make a match online or anywhere. Despite the odds... as time evolves quickly online... more and more relationships are formed from online meetings. So are divorces... because almost equal numbers of men and women are cheating.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 3/8/2014 7:14:17 PM >

(in reply to LorraineCA)

Post #: 2

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:27:38 PM

jlf1961

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From: Somewhere Texas
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I think your prof better go back to school.

First thing, the qualities he lists are not developed based on gender.

Second, this kind of broad statement has no basis to make such an assumption.

Third, without a proper study of how often these traits occur in each gender.

In all honesty, I have never heard of such a flawed theory coming out of the mouth of a professor, at least one coming from an accredited institution.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

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(in reply to Rawni)

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RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:31:38 PM

SlaveOh

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I'm a single 31 year old woman in North Dakota. The odds aren't great.... Just sayin'.

(in reply to jlf1961)

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RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:39:25 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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Switch "online" with "in a bar."

The same ratios apply. In general*, in Western society men are the hunters and women are the prey that is being hunted. Your professor is confusing mathematics and probability with psychology and sociology.

His math doesn't work because his axioms are incorrect. He's also wrong because he doesn't understand user interfaces: woman gets 30 mails and she starts deleting them unread; she can accidentally delete the one that actually was a good match.

John can greatly improve his luck with a well written profile whereas Jane just has to acknowledge she has tits. See the difference? More fish in the pool doesn't mean that using the wrong bait will help.

*please note that I said "in general."

(in reply to Rawni)

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RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:44:43 PM

Rawni

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(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

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RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:50:57 PM

kalikshama

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Many men believe that women have better odds then men on dating sites.
1. For example, John can send 30 emails and receive 0 responses while a Jane will receive 30 emails.
2. So Jane has the opportunity to meet 30 different men whereas John won't be able to meet anyone.
3. Jane has better odds than John in meeting people.

Clearly you have not shown your professor your inbox or Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

(in reply to LorraineCA)

Post #: 7

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 7:59:13 PM

LorraineCA

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Joined: 12/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Switch "online" with "in a bar."

The same ratios apply. In general*, in Western society men are the hunters and women are the prey that is being hunted. Your professor is confusing mathematics and probability with psychology and sociology.

His math doesn't work because his axioms are incorrect. He's also wrong because he doesn't understand user interfaces: woman gets 30 mails and she starts deleting them unread; she can accidentally delete the one that actually was a good match.

John can greatly improve his luck with a well written profile whereas Jane just has to acknowledge she has tits. See the difference? More fish in the pool doesn't mean that using the wrong bait will help.

*please note that I said "in general."

So you are disagreeing that women tend to be better listeners, express their feelings more, better communicators; or as she (professor) said, "Women tend to be the kinder sex.?"

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 8

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:02:14 PM

Rawni

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Whoa, wait a minute. Maybe you aren't comprehending or interpreting the professor very well, because listening, understanding, comprehending and communicating doesn't actually mean... kinder or the kinder sex. That or your professor isn't worth shit.

I've known some down right scary women.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 3/8/2014 8:04:02 PM >

(in reply to LorraineCA)

Post #: 9

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:06:05 PM

LorraineCA

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Joined: 12/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Whoa, wait a minute. Maybe you aren't comprehending or interpreting the professor very well, because listening, understanding, comprehending and communicating doesn't actually mean... kinder or the kinder sex. That or your professor isn't worth shit.

I've known some down right scary women.

Okay, generally speaking, women are better communicators, etc... I know there are a lot of scary women out there.

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 10

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:22:09 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LorraineCA
So you are disagreeing that women tend to be better listeners, express their feelings more, better communicators; or as she (professor) said, "Women tend to be the kinder sex.?"

Apparently that is incorrect. You didn't understand my communication.

I had missed that sentence but since you brought it up: First off you have double punctuation at the end of your sentence. Also, the assumption is patently false.

I know at least 5 women for whom I need to finish their sentences because they are not good at communicating.

I will agree that women are better (in general) at communicating emotions, but that's where I stop. Kinder sex? Don't make me laugh. Better listeners? Women tend to* hear subtext - even when there isn't any. You are buying into a myth. Express their feelings: this is true but it's also false - women tend to* hide their true frustrations in banal items.

* again I need to mention that this is a gross generalization.

(in reply to LorraineCA)

Post #: 11

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:30:11 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
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Awww man... it's looking bad for de women! ROFL!

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 12

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:40:57 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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Not at all.

Men and women listen and hear in different ways.

NEWS FLASH: THIS JUST IN! MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME!

Well, thank G-d for that. It's the difference that make things fun!

I disagree with LorraineCA's professor (or at least her interpretation) of why things are different. Men and women are different - that's a given. She's talking about outdated prejudices that should no longer be taught in classrooms. It's 1950's thinking, not 21st century.

It's false.

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 13

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:42:34 PM

Rawni

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I'm agreeing with you and just having a couple laughs about truths.

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 14

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 8:58:10 PM

LorraineCA

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Joined: 12/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Not at all.

Men and women listen and hear in different ways.

NEWS FLASH: THIS JUST IN! MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME!

Well, thank G-d for that. It's the difference that make things fun!

I disagree with LorraineCA's professor (or at least her interpretation) of why things are different. Men and women are different - that's a given. She's talking about outdated prejudices that should no longer be taught in classrooms. It's 1950's thinking, not 21st century.

It's false.

I don't mean to stray the thread but I wanted to aks your opinion. Jumping from 1950's to present day: is the communication better between people these days?

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 15

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 9:03:11 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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I think there might be more issue with the interpretation than the professor.

Why?

Because as Malcom said, women have a tendency to hear what they want to hear. Sad, but true. I have found that if a lot of women just listened to what was said, instead of trying to find the hidden meaning (in conversations with men regarding relationships) they would be better off.

I see the same happening with the OP.

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 16

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 9:09:12 PM

LorraineCA

Posts: 114
Joined: 12/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I think there might be more issue with the interpretation than the professor.

Why?

Because as Malcom said, women have a tendency to hear what they want to hear. Sad, but true. I have found that if a lot of women just listened to what was said, instead of trying to find the hidden meaning (in conversations with men regarding relationships) they would be better off.

I see the same happening with the OP.

Not only do we have a textbook, but the professor has website reading assignments. This is one of them:

Women are Better Communicators than Men

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 17

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 9:17:54 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
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That link is a site that you must study? Wow!

You can't even read the study without paying for it. So what we see is only an interpretation of the study, that we really cannot see or know if the writer is accurate, etc.

What kind of shit is going on in our educational facilities?

Let me guess... this is funded by the government and not by you, because if you are paying for this education... I would get out of that class or find another institution. * I said that wrong. There are collages, mostly like AIM's that get government grants for certain classes for special interest employers that get money in ways that should never be done. The education doesn't apply to the industry other than those employers and this class sounds like something like that.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 3/8/2014 9:22:39 PM >

(in reply to LorraineCA)

Post #: 18

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 9:49:47 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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Where did I say or imply you don't have a textbook? The link takes me to an about.com article about social anxiety which has little to do with what you are talking about here.

Women don't communicate better, they communicate differently than men. Depending on what is being communicated, either could be the better communicator. Want to talk about your feelings with your partner? Women might be better. However, when it comes to other things in relationships, women tend to beat around the bush and expect men to read their minds.

I assume you are only referring to realtionship communications, because if you are talking overall, including business, then that is completely different.

Either you or your instructor seem to be confused about the difference between communicating clearly versus communication styles.

Let me give you an example:
A couple is preparing to go out for the evening. The woman asks the man, "does this dress make me look fat?"

How often do you think that is what she is really looking for an answer to?

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 19

RE: Professor's View On Dating Sites Odds - 3/8/2014 10:00:04 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I think there might be more issue with the interpretation than the professor.

Why?

Because as Malcom said, women have a tendency to hear what they want to hear. Sad, but true. I have found that if a lot of women just listened to what was said, instead of trying to find the hidden meaning (in conversations with men regarding relationships) they would be better off.

I see the same happening with the OP.

Please do not put words in my mouth. That is not what I said.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 20

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