RE: Are real Dommes extinct?

RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (Full Version)

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LotusSong -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 4:12:49 PM)
MY.. MY! You did hit a nerve! The problem is, the "real" dommes don't have anything to prove. They simply "are". They will find you. You have a notion as to what YOU feel is a real Domme.it seems. It's unfortuante that we don't wear leather all the time or handcuff and drag off our "lumps" to work on so that we can more easily identifiable :) Even Betty Page, the icon of what a True Domme, should look like.. wasn't real. She was only a model.. While I do not validate pay-for-play in my own experience, it does serve as a quick fix with no strings. It has it's place. As long as someone is willing to pay, it will continue. So what is Real? Seek character, commitment, independance, self-control, self-sufficency and you may just have found one. Or rather, She may have allowed you to find her :)

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 4:30:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toptobottom i pose this as a serious question and not one of disrespect. i have been wondering if there are any true Dommes who actually enjoy living the lifestyle and the challenge of taking a "lump of clay" and transforming him/her into someone worthy of service? i believe there is a sense of challenge for both parties - one of accomplishment for the Domme, and one of true submission for the sub. Yet looking both here and on other BDSM sites, i really don't see any Dommes seeking the challenge, the love of the lifestyle, the thrill of imposing Your will on another, or moving that person from a state of nothing to the real form of "sub." What i do see are women wanting gifts and money in exchange for merely fulfilling a fantasy. This just does not seem like the way of the lifestyle. Please, if there are any Dommes out there who can shed some light on this subject, it would be greatly appreciated. You mean you don't really see any "true Dommes" out of the number of profiles you have viewed. This is meaningless to us unless you give us some hard stats. Be well, Julie

openmindedslave -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 6:04:48 PM)
MAybe the real question is is there any real slaves /and subs out here??? The answer to both is ofcourse there is and there will always be some of both. The view that everyone on collarme is serious about what they want or expect or even understand what is involved in a false view. The sad truth is the good ones ( both doms and subs) are clumped into this one short sight view of this lifestyle. Ignorance just follows us everywhere.

LadyHugs -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 6:39:45 PM)
Dear toptobottom, Ladies and Gentlemen; I would like to submit some observations and comments for consideration. 1. Real dominants do exist in different places, styles, shapes and colors. A wide variety indeed. 2. Rejection by a dominant women does not mean they are not real. Rather, they are not real matches for you. 3. Dominant women have the same rights to accept or reject those who approach them to submit. Both dominants and submissives need to be happy to be around each other, not dread being around. 4. Not all Pro-Dominants are in fine skinny fetish wear. One proclaimed Pro-Dominant in the metropolitan Washington, DC area was bigger than I, roughly over 300 lbs. plus. Nothing offered by clothing makers had anything leather addresses plus size women, the same issue is for fetish boots. 5. Not all dominants know how to take somebody and train them. Sometimes dominants who know how to train, are exhausted in training new ones only to have them disappear or go off elsewhere, so they are looking for others (submissives/slaves) who have some mileage and experiences, to which knows fully that submission is for them. New individuals are best served by support and education groups which supply a good foundation. Although most students want to be the sole focus of the dominant, the energy drained by an attention needy submissive is crippling to dominant energy; especially when the student is difficult, demanding and impatient. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

Sublime5446 -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 6:50:34 PM)
ys man, at least try to be courteous, even when u are new to this.

TexasMaam -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 6:57:53 PM)
Many Dommes would gladly take a newbie under their wing, without tribute, without 'gifts', without any remuneration of any kind, if he was a sincere sub who at least had time, energy, friendship or some type of human connection to offer. I've certainly done so, many times over the years. Here's the thing: teaching and training a totally inexperienced sub male takes a great deal of time, effort, creativity, and yes, passion. If not passion for the sub himself, certainly a passion for the activity he wants to pursue. That kind of connection requires some kind of reciprocation on the part of the sub. He has to be just as willing to spend time with the Domme, devoting himself to her teaching, as She is willing to spend with the sub. When a male sub wannabe posts this kind of post, he's not interested in spending time completing assignments, following Her instructions, practicing Her teachings, or in learning how to make a Domme happy or meet Her needs. That's what becoming a true, seasoned sub is all about. All he *wants* is an open BDSM 'booty call'; an open BDSM 'marriage'! No, I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about him expecting to drop in and avail himself of Her expertise and skill so that he can meet *his* cravings, wants, and desires, with total disregard to the Domme's cravings, wants or desires. He's an overgrown schoolboy who never stopped dropping in on his Momma without notice: always expecting a free meal, lots of unconditional love, attention, affection, support, a sounding board, while never giving a single thought to what Momma's day might have had in store if he hadn't dropped by to use her, manipulate her and take advantage of her devotion again. If not Momma, just substitute 'Wife' and repeat the previous sentence. You're not going to find your saintly Momma, nor a saintly 'BDSM wife' out here, that elusive non-existent Domina who's willing to spank you, tie you, bind you, blindfold you, ease your fears, arouse your libido, satisfy your craving to be teased and used, who will then cover you with kisses and send you happily out the door until you decide to impose yourself upon her again the next time it suits you! Grow up.... And quit yer bitchin'. TexasMaam TexasMaam

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 7:26:50 PM)
quote: Get rid of your hard on and get a grip on something resembling reality No offense Tress, I frequently agree with you, but I rather like a man with a hard on/can get one quickly. [&:] M

ladylexington -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 7:30:44 PM)
I am hijacking this thread, and I apologize in advance. But, here's something that has always perplexed me about posts similar to this one. I often hear about "real Dommes," but no one really defines the term. Are we real Dommes if... ...we play publicly? No, any poser can do that. ... if we have a great toy bag? No, some of my best scenes have involved nothing more than the flat of my hand and a little power exchange. And, any sub who's endured a Domme's withering glare can attest to the power of a glance. ... if we wear leather? No, if so, then bikers have a new line of work. ... if we have a stable of subs? Nah, that just defines poly. Here's the best definition that I have. Please feel free to amend it. A Domme is a woman who understands power exchange and embraces her role and responsibility as the recipient of another person's will. The play and the props are secondary, and possibly unneccesary.

kc692 -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 7:36:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SavageFaerie <fast reply> I find if a bit surprising that the OP isn't a young whanker thats off school for the summer but a 52 yr old that that by now should have learned a little tact and decorum by now. And may I ask, how do you know that for sure, smiles???? Sounds like young whanker to me, or old whanker, truly, not much of a difference, is there?

kc692 -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 7:43:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TexasMaam Many Dommes would gladly take a newbie under their wing, without tribute, without 'gifts', without any remuneration of any kind, if he was a sincere sub who at least had time, energy, friendship or some type of human connection to offer. I've certainly done so, many times over the years. Here's the thing: teaching and training a totally inexperienced sub male takes a great deal of time, effort, creativity, and yes, passion. If not passion for the sub himself, certainly a passion for the activity he wants to pursue. That kind of connection requires some kind of reciprocation on the part of the sub. He has to be just as willing to spend time with the Domme, devoting himself to her teaching, as She is willing to spend with the sub. When a male sub wannabe posts this kind of post, he's not interested in spending time completing assignments, following Her instructions, practicing Her teachings, or in learning how to make a Domme happy or meet Her needs. That's what becoming a true, seasoned sub is all about. All he *wants* is an open BDSM 'booty call'; an open BDSM 'marriage'! No, I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about him expecting to drop in and avail himself of Her expertise and skill so that he can meet *his* cravings, wants, and desires, with total disregard to the Domme's cravings, wants or desires. He's an overgrown schoolboy who never stopped dropping in on his Momma without notice: always expecting a free meal, lots of unconditional love, attention, affection, support, a sounding board, while never giving a single thought to what Momma's day might have had in store if he hadn't dropped by to use her, manipulate her and take advantage of her devotion again. If not Momma, just substitute 'Wife' and repeat the previous sentence. You're not going to find your saintly Momma, nor a saintly 'BDSM wife' out here, that elusive non-existent Domina who's willing to spank you, tie you, bind you, blindfold you, ease your fears, arouse your libido, satisfy your craving to be teased and used, who will then cover you with kisses and send you happily out the door until you decide to impose yourself upon her again the next time it suits you! Grow up.... And quit yer bitchin'. TexasMaam TexasMaam [sm=applause.gif]Hear hear, smiles, said much more nicely than I could type it myself, smiles....

littlesarbonn -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 8:10:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crdavis I have had subs write to me asking for a picture of me in my fetish wear, to show I am real. I tell them I am very real and if you want the fetish wear perhaps it is a Pro you are looking for. No 6 inch heels here......Most subs do not have a clue. Especially the ones that want to be "trained". Just my opinion..... oh, and I love reading the postings from benji.....they bring a smile to my face I once asked a professional dominant for a picture of her in a full body bunny suit when she asked what would turn me on, and believe it or not, she actually sent me one. Of course, she and I had a joking exchange going back and forth for years in which she often claimed she was more interested in my pet penguin than she was in me.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/7/2006 8:25:30 PM)
Damn, I guess that means I can't suggest that real dommes were rendered extinct by a huge asteroid several million years ago. quote: ORIGINAL: toptobottom i pose this as a serious question

MHOO314 -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 3:42:42 AM)
hmmm either you've been rejected already or no one has swooned over your profile--- or someone peed in your wheaties.

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 3:53:17 AM)
We're out here, but may not be right in your neighborhood, or right next door. Groups like CollarMe are great, but your best chance of meeting someone who can take you to where you want to go are probably to get out to a munch or other activities (even if you have to drive a little bit) and meet some people. My mate and I often take on newcomers who are exploring and searching for a way to move into the deep submission they are looking for, but we don't see a point in long-distance or telephone submission... it does nothing for us, and, since we like to see our work taking shape, there is little satisfaction in mediums where we cannot observe the process. There are probably quite a few like us, who are living this lifestyle, but aren't in your town, so rather than denegrate an entire class of dominants, perhaps you might consider what -you- can do to manifest the kind of dominant in your life that you need. So many people want things, but don't want the work, stress, struggle and challenge that go along with getting them. Nobody -owes- an individual what he or she wants -- if you are not getting what you want in your life, the first question most often needs to be "What am I doing or not doing that is keeping this thing out of reach?" Be pro-active and positive in your search, keep an open mind and a positive, courteous attitude, and take your time. It took us 5 years to find our Chanson. We're not in any hurry, and happy to work with people who aren't sure what they're looking for, or who are curious and searching, or who have been hurt and will need time within the process to heal -- but they have to be willing to come out and get -active-... we don't go hunting them up. ZWD quote: ORIGINAL: toptobottom i pose this as a serious question and not one of disrespect. i have been wondering if there are any true Dommes who actually enjoy living the lifestyle and the challenge of taking a "lump of clay" and transforming him/her into someone worthy of service? i believe there is a sense of challenge for both parties - one of accomplishment for the Domme, and one of true submission for the sub. Yet looking both here and on other BDSM sites, i really don't see any Dommes seeking the challenge, the love of the lifestyle, the thrill of imposing Your will on another, or moving that person from a state of nothing to the real form of "sub." What i do see are women wanting gifts and money in exchange for merely fulfilling a fantasy. This just does not seem like the way of the lifestyle. Please, if there are any Dommes out there who can shed some light on this subject, it would be greatly appreciated.

janiceleeinsc -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 1:59:58 PM)
Why doesn't he just walk in a room and say, "Beat My Ass please?" That is what he is wanting. Some of the most qualified Dommes I have seen are right here on Collarme. As one of my members of my group would say, Bite Me hard. Respectfully, Mistress_Jan

DiannaVesta -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 6:44:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren I pose this as a serious question and not one of disrespect. What kind of person thinks he'll get respect from a group of people when the first thing he says to them that most of them are phonies. Does the erect penis really drain so much blood from some people's brain that they can't think beyond the third-grade "I dare you" level. You took the words right out of my mouth.

michaelGA2 -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 6:51:03 PM)
can i wait in line for the "ASS Whipping"?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 7:00:17 PM)
There are true dommes. Many of us already have the pets we have been searching for. Whether you ahve found any or not, I cant sy. Yes, there are a lot taht are fakes, and others that dont have much of a clue what lifestyle bdsm is and tend to end their kink at the bedroom door. But, if there werent any true dommes , and on the other side of the coin, true subs left... this whole thread would have died after the initial few posts. I know personally, I have had more thana few subs rather disapointed that I dont dress up for a playdate. I dont see the need for a "costume", and I dont require my pets to address me as Mistress or Maam all the time. I know who I am, and they do too. The rest of it is just for show, and I dont need show. My 2 cents, as always DV

MistressGayle -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 7:28:53 PM)
Yes! There are real Domme's here but we want REAL slaves.....not wankers.....not whiners..... Make some effort.

WhiteRadiance -> RE: Are real Dommes extinct? (7/8/2006 7:59:44 PM)
This reply, in my opinion, is the most civil one here. The man may be an idiot but there is no need to meet his stupidity and ignorance with rudeness. Why even bother answering stupid questions? Direct them to the last thread by the last guy who asked that same question and go get a pedicure or something. Just my redneck cracker jack alabama opinion for what it's worth.. lol quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire There are true dommes. Many of us already have the pets we have been searching for. Whether you ahve found any or not, I cant sy. Yes, there are a lot taht are fakes, and others that dont have much of a clue what lifestyle bdsm is and tend to end their kink at the bedroom door. But, if there werent any true dommes , and on the other side of the coin, true subs left... this whole thread would have died after the initial few posts. I know personally, I have had more thana few subs rather disapointed that I dont dress up for a playdate. I dont see the need for a "costume", and I dont require my pets to address me as Mistress or Maam all the time. I know who I am, and they do too. The rest of it is just for show, and I dont need show. My 2 cents, as always DV

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