Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (Full Version)

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ARIES83 -> Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 12:30:25 AM)

Not ok? When is it not ok in your opinion?
Ok? When is it ok in your opinion?

Some women like being slapped around in the bedroom. If this is you can you explain why.
I'd like to define the nature of the attitudes I've been finding surrounding face slapping.




MasterCaneman -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 12:58:25 AM)

Not okay out in the world. It would be akin to a D-type taking their s-type out for naked walkies in the mall.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 1:08:56 AM)

I don't believe violence is part of a loving, caring relationship.

Put me in the "Never OK" column.






pg4g -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 1:19:13 AM)

Isn't this just like any other BDSM activity? Right or wrong depends on limits of each parties, never out in public, and the agreed dynamic?



RareByrd -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 1:27:54 AM)

violence, noun, "behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something."

First of all, the person doing the face-slapping doesn't at ALL have to intend hurt or damage. S/he can intend to assert authority, foster trust, turn the sub on, or any number of other things depending on the context of the relationship.

Second, if you want to use a very inclusive definition of violence, as you seem to want to do, then the entire S&M part of BDSM would fall under it since it can cause hurt. Are you saying you don't think S&M belongs in a caring relationship? You would, um, seem to be on the wrong site if so. You're going to get very upset with what many people are into here.

You know, it's fine to not like slapping and not want to introduce it in your relationships. Not so fine to decree it unacceptable for everyone else, or label someone else's relationship not caring if it includes activities you yourself don't happen to enjoy.

Personally, I find face-slapping hawt in the right context. It has to be with someone I trust, and not done in anger. And the person should know what they are doing (knowledge of anatomy and how to avoid causing damage to the ear, eye, or TMJ) and have consent.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 1:38:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RareByrd

violence, noun, "behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something."

First of all, the person doing the face-slapping doesn't at ALL have to intend hurt or damage. S/he can intend to assert authority, foster trust, turn the sub on, or any number of other things depending on the context of the relationship.



I don't see it as anything other than doing harm.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RareByrd

Second, if you want to use a very inclusive definition of violence, as you seem to want to do, then the entire S&M part of BDSM would fall under it since it can cause hurt. Are you saying you don't think S&M belongs in a caring relationship? You would, um, seem to be on the wrong site if so. You're going to get very upset with what many people are into here.


I do want to use a very inclusive definition of violence.

The "S&M" part of BDSM does fall into the "off limits" category, as far as I'm concerned.

I've been on this site since 2006. I'm not on the wrong site.

I don't get upset with what other people do as I tend not to judge or tell people where they should or shouldn't spend their time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RareByrd

You know, it's fine to not like slapping and not want to introduce it in your relationships. Not so fine to decree it unacceptable for everyone else, or label someone else's relationship not caring if it includes activities you yourself don't happen to enjoy.



How the fuck did you read:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I don't believe violence is part of a loving, caring relationship.

Put me in the "Never OK" column.




and come up with me, issuing a decree for other people? I never labeled anyone else's relationship. My statement started with what I believe which would kind of indicate something very personal.

This thread asked for an opinion and I gave one.

It used to be a violation of ToS to tell people they didn't belong here.






Vixen22 -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 1:49:30 AM)

Not outside of the bedroom it's more of a heat of the moment disobedient thing for me, only to be used to gain my attention or if I don't listen. Never to exceed one or two slaps though, it's a fine line between kinky and abuse. It's kinda like a shock to the system haha especially if your attention has wandered.



FrostedFlake -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 2:19:39 AM)

It's pretty high value real estate.

To begin with it is what we show everyone we deal with and what they think of when they think of us. That deserves its' own paragraph.

There are a number of small bones, easily broken. There are several teeth, ditto. The jaw can be easily dislodged. And there after might not work the same. The neck, ditto, and ditto. A blow to the ear can deafen. Clinically, not metaphorically. And of course, there are the eyes, and perhaps the eyeglasses.

Hitting someone in the face says that you don't care about any of this. That says you don't care. That is all there is to know. Except, perhaps, why hitting the face is interesting, when there are so many better choices. Better in the sense they have more to do with sex and less to do with vandalism.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 2:31:15 AM)

A lot of people are going to tell you it is very okay but, seeing as I assume you are asking about each individual relationship.....When it is okay? What I say so. When is it not okay? When someone does it to me.



TNDommeK -> RE: Face slapping (3/10/2014 2:59:15 AM)

I love slapping! There have been times I've done it out if the bedroom
When play might be afoot. I've also done it when my girl has been a brat. But those are things that have been previously discussed.
I woukd never abuse anyone.



ThePrincessKali -> RE: Face slapping (3/10/2014 3:09:23 AM)

I was the bottom once in a D/S "session", idk what you'd call it, basically during sex and my partner who was topping asked me if I was ok with a little slapping. I was willing to try it. It wasn't a huge turn on nor did it freak me. I was pretty ambivalent to be honest.



SueACydell -> RE: Face slapping (3/10/2014 3:11:36 AM)

Yes, please. I find it very erotic, it puts me in my place.

OF COURSE this activity requires a tremendous amount of trust and would never be something to do with someone you didn't know very, very well.



DarkSteven -> RE: Face slapping (3/10/2014 3:38:29 AM)

I've done it a little. Bedroom only, play only. Obviously, very measured slaps.



epiphiny43 -> RE: Face slapping (3/10/2014 3:46:28 AM)

Having an education on detached retinas and tempomandibular joint dysfunctions seems not to prevent face slapping any more than an education on smoking prevents doing so even if a parent. But they should.



Nakhla -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 3:51:08 AM)

This seems to be a very emotive issue for some people - which is fine, everyone has their sensitivities.

I'm less specific than some in which body parts can be slapped. Slapping: At home? Probably okay. In public in a non-kinky setting? Probably not okay.

Don't take out an eye or give me caveman rhinoplasty, and otherwise, it's just another act of sadism.



SlipSlidingAway -> RE: Face slapping (3/10/2014 3:53:50 AM)

When is it not okay? It's never okay, when ~I~ am one of the people in the relationship. Personally, it is not a turn on for me, I think there are much better ways for someone to to get my attention, I don't like it, don't want it, and would not agree to it as part of a dynamic. Therefore, in ~my~ relationship, it would be abusive.

When is it okay? When it's done between consenting adults who are aware of the risks, take caution to mitigate those risks, and decide it is something they want to include in their interactions.





theshytype -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 5:23:57 AM)

The only way it's okay for me is in the bedroom and if done, what I'd consider, lightly.
I would not be happy if used as a punishment. We use it as a playful thing, it sort of gets me riled up.

I'm a little curious now as to why I consider, for myself, a spanking an acceptable form of punishment but a face slapping to be offensive.



kalikshama -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 5:42:33 AM)

I find face slapping very juicy - it has much more of a psychological effect than a spank. I can't handle a flurry of slaps, but I love it when it's well spaced out.

I've noticed that my man doesn't slap me as hard as he used to this time last year. I've started talking to him about "hurt" vs "harm." Also, my nipple clamps actually hurt more than a slap on the face, but it doesn't bother him to use them, presumably because he feels no sense of committing violence when he uses nipple clamps.

Slapping outside the bedroom/punishment? That's so not happening.

[sm=hardlimit.gif]



kalikshama -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 5:48:44 AM)

quote:

There are a number of small bones, easily broken. There are several teeth, ditto. The jaw can be easily dislodged. And there after might not work the same. The neck, ditto, and ditto. A blow to the ear can deafen. Clinically, not metaphorically. And of course, there are the eyes, and perhaps the eyeglasses.

Hitting someone in the face says that you don't care about any of this. That says you don't care. That is all there is to know. Except, perhaps, why hitting the face is interesting, when there are so many better choices. Better in the sense they have more to do with sex and less to do with vandalism.


I'm intellectually curious as to how hard one must hit to break bones, etc. In decades of incorporating slapping, I have never suffered any harm, nor have slaps left a mark. Perhaps slaps on the face must be at least hard enough to bruise in order to harm?

(Please note I am talking about face only, and not eyes or ears.)



LadyPact -> RE: Face Slapping. In and Outside the bedroom... (3/10/2014 7:19:14 AM)

Good Morning, Aries.

Face slapping is something I can or will do inside of the bedroom or out. For play/sex? It's hot as hell. Non play situations, as others have said, it's a dang good attention grabber. I think some people automatically assume that face slapping in non play situations is done in anger or with more force than necessary. That's simply not the case.

When is it not ok? When the people in the dynamic have determined that it isn't. Not when people outside of the dynamic have decided it's against their way of doing things, so everybody else has to feel the same way about it.



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