Question about the meaning of BDSM

Question about the meaning of BDSM (Full Version)

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softysub -> Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 11:46:02 AM)
Hello: I would like to know if i am wrong in thinking this way. I always thought bdsm was a mental thing. If i am right, then why am i being turned away???? I am a BBW and was told that i would make a Dom very happy and that by Doms, but no one is acting on it. My current Dom would like me to find a more permanent Dom, as He doesnt think He can make me happy. I might sound pathetic, but all this is making me think if this is really who i should be. Thanks for reading softysub

sweetpleaser -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 12:21:43 PM)
I believe the D/s part is more mental and power exchange. There are SO many aspects of this lifestyle that anything can be mental or not at all. Sometimes Doms also look for partners who are also into S&M. If you are not, you are narrowing your man pool, so to speak. It is okay to be everything you are but don't think because you are willing to serve the Doms will come out of the woodwork. You still need to market yourself. There was nothing written in your profile. Work on a profile that tells a prospective Dom what you can give and what you like to do. I am sure you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are. Weight is really not an issue. Good luck!![:)]

siamsa24 -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 12:25:49 PM)
You may want to start by posting a profile. You only have interests listed and don't tell anything about yourself or what you are looking for. If you would like help writing a profile please let me know, I have helped many others in the past.

darkinshadows -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 12:58:48 PM)
hello sweetone... Firstly... welcome! I do agree with what has been said before... try sitting down and thinking what You feel you need and also what you desire and write it in your profile... As for the question... All Angel can say is that BDSM is different to everyone. To some it is aids a sexual release... or they feed upon the sexual energies produced... for others, it is more mentally stimulating... heightening all senses and releasing a series of mental bursts of expression and feeling. For others...it is spiritual. The list goes on... but what matters is what it means to YOU. Discover that first... and advertise/express such to others. Be true to yourself otherwise you cannot be true to the Dominant you submit to. You are not sounding pathetic... maybe the previous relationship you have is drawning to a conclusion and you need to move on... explore further... if some asked the direct question to me... WHAT IS BDSM... IMO I would answer...it is a Journey of Exploration and Release to find out exactly who I am and what I am capable of and I embrace such with nervous excitement every day! love and thoughts hunni

softysub -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 6:44:15 PM)
Thanks :) I was sure my profile was there....i am still new to this site...a lil help would be appreciated :) softysub

softysub -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 6:57:27 PM)
Thanks to all for Y/your good advice. I was able to fix the profile and now is in pending approval. I always welcome advices :)) softysub

111597 -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/21/2004 7:29:56 PM)
Greetings Softy: Why would your Dom advice you to seak another Dom? That is my question from the post. I don't think it is about BDSM at all. BDSM is a wonderful lifestyle. It is very complicated and takes the right partner to make it work. Even then, it takes a great deal of effort. Do you have any other friends in the lifestyle you can talk with? Having friends in the lifestyle is the only way to go. Of course, I don't know all of the details. I am just responding to your question. I have a site for the novice submissive. It is on MSN. It is the DisciplineConnection. The address is http://msn.groups.com/DisciplineConnection. We would be able to help. Respectfully, Mistress_Jan

softysub -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/22/2004 4:06:12 AM)
Hi Ma'am: My current Dom wants me to find a Master/Dom that will give me more time. I know this sound bad, but He is married to a vanilla wife and thinks that i need more than the once or twice that we meet per month. There is no sexual contact, BDSM is not all about sex. Anyway, He just want me to be happy....cause I've told him at the beginning with all honesty that in the long run, i would like to have a 24/7 relationship. Hope this explain it :) softysub

softysub -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (11/22/2004 4:26:36 AM)
thank You Ma'am, i've bookmarked the site :) be well softysub

Wolfsbabygirlz -> RE: Question about the meaning of BDSM (12/5/2004 3:09:46 AM)
greetings to you ....you dont sound pathetic in the least bit, quite the opposite in fact. This is just my own personal opinion of course but I believe it is a different choice of lifestyle, personal preference, it is what it is kind of thing. I know it has nothing to do with the mental aspects. Everyone is different with their own unique things they're interested in or like/enjoy. Forget the notion it's a mental thing. its a chosen alternative lifestyle, which I am so very proud to be part of. We all must seek out what works best for us, try not to let those who cause you to doubt and wonder about who you are....the answer lies from within you, and no one knows better or has a right to challenge that. what I got from your messege was people confusing you to their way of thinking. Youre right where youre suppose to be at this moment. Peace to you..... Wolfbabygirlz =) stay sweet

alwayzron -> .... from a male sub working on a Masters in marriage & Family Counseling (12/5/2004 1:56:17 PM)
"He is married .... " This is the first flaw in your situation. Does his wife know of his activites? I'm thinking not. And if not ... then I cannot see how you could develop the trust needed to be safe .. let alone fulfilled. I would tell him that you're seeking another Dom as he suggested, but that you want to meet with his wife first to get her opinion. "... He just want me to be happy...." Girl .... the bullshit phone is ringing. Answer it. What he wants is for you to be available when he wants you to be ... and to be out of the picture when he doesn't want you around. You deserve better than this .... don't you agree? Finding another Dom should be no problem. The problem is, finding one who knows that the lifestyle is about more that calling yourself "Master" or "Sir". There are way too many players out there. My advice is .... become involved in a local D/s group. And instead of looking for a Dom, look for a Domme. Explain to her what you're looking for and she will probably be more than happy to steer you into the right direction. God luck and be safe .... alwayz, ron

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