RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (Full Version)

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FieryOpal -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 4:48:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ettaj

I want to know if you can train a submissive male into being sexually aggressive during role play or is that oppositional to his submissive DNA?

Who would be doing said training, by the way, since you're a female submissive? Your Dom partner? You'd be better off finding a male switch, truthfully.

The reason why this matters is there may be a big difference between a straight sub and a bisexual one.
Between a straight male sub being instructed by a non-Domme.
Between a straight male sub taking instructions from a Dominant male.
Between a bisexual male sub being instructed by a non-Domme.
Between a bisexual male sub being instructed by a Dom -- This combination being the only one that stands a viable chance of success.
There are straight/bisexual bullslaves, but they function within the framework of a cuckolding dynamic, not the reverse.

Personally, rather than "sexually aggressive," I look for a male sub partner who is sexually passionate and intense. Once his passions are roused (not just aroused), his naturally submissive desire to please me will kick in. However, I don't believe this will work for a third wheel who would be relegated to the role of (most likely) casual play partner taking on a subordinate role.

Also, I'd be careful tossing around the term "aggressive." There are many male subs who have a natural "assertiveness," which can be properly channeled by a caring Mistress. You would, however, need to train yourself first on how to be that kind of Mistress.



PeonForHer -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 7:21:50 AM)

FR

I've 'role played' dominant partner before but mainly because I've felt pressured to do it. (Yep, I'm aware of the ironies involved.)

I could do it, and get some vicarious fun out of it. I know what turns me on as a sub, so I guess that gives me some special access to what will turn *her* on.
Dominant (more correctly, 'topping') and enjoying it . . . yes, but in my own way. Sexually aggressive - no, that's quite difficult for me and little fun except in terms of watching her enjoying it. The last time I tried it, I overdid the muscling around thing, she ended up in tears and I felt pretty damned terrible as a result. Not good. She said, 'I wanted you to dominate me in a *nice* way' . . . and I didn't have a clue what she was talking about.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 8:41:08 AM)

I don't really think there's such a thing as a submissive or Dominant gene. But, as for your question: Sure he can. As a matter of fact, I used to have one that was.

NBMG



SweetAnise -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 8:45:04 AM)

To the OP: I think you can but there must be lots of communication about what is expected and wanted during the aggressive play. For one you don't want to cause triggers nor do you want to feel that the TPE is diminished in anyway. So lots of talking to you play partner.



LadyPact -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 8:56:51 AM)

Out of curiosity, OP, is this one of those deals where male submissives are hitting on you and you are a female submissive? As such, you are curious about how things would work in the bedroom and wondering if a male submissive could keep you happy sexually?

If it is, you're setting yourself up.



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 9:11:41 AM)

Gave this thread some thought, and in my experience, am splitting play into different situations:

1. Casual role play, and
2. Relationship with mental, emotional and physical bonds.

Because in my experience, these differentiate how I as a male submissive responds.

I recall two different casual role play encounters, when the female had a specific fantasy she wanted fulfilled. In both, she clearly defined what she wanted which enabled me to do the role play without misunderstanding. After doing both scenarios, I felt a ton of enjoyment .... because I saw how both Ladies reacted as well as the powerful orgasms they enjoyed.

I did not orgasm in either, rather felt very happy I could please her! LOL So I was actually unleashing my need to please, as well as experiencing pleasure from giving pleasure. And this is a very submissive feeling ...

That said, I have never been asked, or done this kind of role play in a D/s relationship. Rather in a relationship .... the following is what seems to happen ....

And thank You Fiery Opal for expressing it so well! [:)]


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


Personally, rather than "sexually aggressive," I look for a male sub partner who is sexually passionate and intense[/u]. Once his passions are roused (not just aroused), his naturally submissive desire to please me will kick in.




kalikshama -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 9:17:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Out of curiosity, OP, is this one of those deals where male submissives are hitting on you and you are a female submissive? As such, you are curious about how things would work in the bedroom and wondering if a male submissive could keep you happy sexually?

If it is, you're setting yourself up.



Good question. Amen to the bolded part.



MissToYouRedux -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 10:05:37 AM)

By definition, my submissives have been men who want to give me what I want. I enjoy primal sex. While in the moment, I verbally and non-verbally demonstrate that I really do enjoy primal sex. I've been told the positive feedback helps [;)], though I don't know that involuntary responses can actually be considered training. [:D] )



FrostedFlake -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 10:09:36 AM)

There are exceptions to everything. And the guy you are asking about might be one. But speaking generally, if the plane hasn't actually crashed yet... getting a man in the mood is really pretty easy. If he is into you at all.

And if NOT, here is the key thing, there are other men. They are VERY easy to find. And they come in all sizes, colors and flavors. Including, and you can be sure I know this, sub guys who would be very pleased to screw the hell out of you. Often.

It's actually kind of embarrassing, sometimes. Not exactly the most respectful impulse. And a distraction. But, uhmm, YEAH. And I thought everyone knew.

So to sum up, this problem (lack of interest) is usually solved by walking away, because you can't push a rope.






Lucylastic -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 10:22:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Out of curiosity, OP, is this one of those deals where male submissives are hitting on you and you are a female submissive? As such, you are curious about how things would work in the bedroom and wondering if a male submissive could keep you happy sexually?

If it is, you're setting yourself up.


heh I hadnt thought about it from that angle, I totally agree:)



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 10:36:45 AM)

because you can't push a rope.


I think sexual wiring happens fairly early in life. Can you change that? I think not. You *can* teach someone how to role play what you want, if they want to learn and you're persistent enough.

The question I have is why?




FrostedFlake -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 12:06:23 PM)

At this point I wish I had selected a different metaphor.



littlewonder -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 2:14:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ettaj

I want to know if you can train a submissive male into being sexually aggressive during role play or is that oppositional to his submissive DNA?


depends on the person. Does he WANT to be trained to be sexually aggressive?? Is he submissive only sexually? Or submissive always?

Personally for me, nope, I can't be trained to be so. I can go through the motions but I will detest it the entire time. I'm a submissive personality....sexually and non-sexually. I don't have an aggressive bone in my body.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/16/2014 2:15:17 PM)

But it's an absolutely excellent metaphor, which is why *I* reused it.




ettaj -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/17/2014 3:51:50 AM)

Thank you for a most eloquent and comprehensive response.



ExiledTyrant -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/17/2014 5:30:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ettaj

Thank you for a most eloquent and comprehensive response.


After reading your profile I am wondering... what, exactly, is missing in your dynamic that has you asking this question?



ettaj -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/17/2014 5:50:09 AM)

I'm sorry having technical difficulties but very excited and happy with your responses I would like to counter respond to all who have asked specific questions thank you again I will be back when I am able to use my computer properly



Charles6682 -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/17/2014 2:09:23 PM)

I am certainly submissive by nature but I can be assertive if I need to be. I'm not really sexually aggressive but I can I can "role play" it if that's what the Lady want's. But I certainly prefer being sexually submissive and that work's just fine for me,



ettaj -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/24/2014 11:07:36 PM)

Thank you for your response and honesty I guess I never have accepted that a submissive male can be just as a submissive female and be happy and wanting to please and serve his female Dom it's just so hard for me to understand male subs I am perplexed By Hetero males that would submit to a female. But that's a whole different topic thank you again for the response



ettaj -> RE: Can a male submissive be trained to be sexually aggressive? (3/24/2014 11:08:52 PM)

Thank u miss Marie



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