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LadiesBladewing -> RE: When Do Things Begin...... (7/8/2006 5:58:49 AM)
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For us, submission doesn't begin until the meeting where we sit down with the contract, and go through it point-by-point, and everyone agrees to the terms. We've had a couple more "casual" arrangements, usually with individuals who just wanted the occasional opportunity to serve, or who were very new and wanted to see if this was really what they wanted before getting involved in a contract, and for those, it began the first time they actually came to -serve- us, after our discussions were completed. One reason that we like a formal contract, though, is because it does make a strong defining point of when the process actually begins, which is important in a situation like ours, where there is no romantic overture to the process.
Though we expect courtesy, and, frankly, -do- expect to be treated as the goddesses we are at a first meeting, what we expect from those meetings is little more than might be expected by an old-fashioned "courting" meeting, where it was not a matter of romance, but of an arranged union or a union of social convenience (in particular, a courting meeting where the social class of the one doing the courting was "working class", and the social class of the one being courted was "noble class"). Our expectations, even then, may be too high for some -- that's fine, they're welcome not to come courting us. *S*. Otherwise, we will expect niceties like doors being opened, chairs being pulled out, rising when one of us has to leave the table, and, perhaps, if the meeting goes well, even fronting the cost of the coffee or meal (though we are prepared to cover our own costs, should the meeting be inconclusive or we find that we are incompatible with the postulant). We will also expect to be able to hold a civilized conversation with the individual on topics ranging far from D/s -- we're learned women, with a broad scope of interests, and an individual who can't discourse or who has a closed mind is probably not going to last long in our household. We -don't- expect agreement... we expect the ability to think things through.
One other expectation that we have even -before- anything starts is respect for our time. Anyone who has read our profile knows how precious our time is... we would expect the same for someone meeting us in vanilla circumstance, or no matter which side of the collar an individual is on, though, so again, this isn't a matter of when things start -- it's just a basic courtesy issue.
ZWD
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