quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
Maybe I'm much more pragmatic than you.
I like to have my cards on the table so there are no surprises later down the line.
Something as important as that, I would certainly not want to continue the relationship.

I see it in the same critical light in that I wanted a female as a partner.
If I later found out that it was a TG, I'd walk. Simple.
Small little things are ok.
But this sounds like something major that needs/should be discussed openly before they get married.
It's not like they've only just met - they have been together for 7 months already.
That should be more than long enough to broach the subject by now in an honest manner.
In a normal(?!) western-style relationship, things are usually discussed when the moment is right.
However, this doesn't strike me as the usual western-style 'open' relationship.

And even more so that they have both agreed to wait for marriage before having sex.
That sort of culture usually (but not always) assumes the "standard" male-ruling type of arrangement.
If that is the case, OP's new hubby is more than likely going to be horrified that his new wifey-woo wants him to be the sub in the relationship.
I can see this seriously backfiring on OP.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartlessgoddess

Since he doesn't have any sexual experience (virgin) and I heard that men's first sexual experiences influences their preferences , maybe I can make him submissive, by setting the tone for our sex life early on. I was thinking that I would start off slow and gradually increase the kinkiness so it seems natural and he doesn't even realize what's happening until it's too late. Also, everytime we have sex , I would dominate him a little more , e.g. woman-on-top sex , holding him down, grabbing his hair, etc.... and especially during the ejaculation part ,so I can condition him to associate sexual pleasure with his submission . Then again, he's not a dog, so simple conditioning might no


Does this sound like just being careful of when and how you tell someone? Because the above is very duplicitious.

Whenever you care to apologize for YOUR miscomprehension of the OP.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Being careful about what you say is one thing, but she talks about just doing things to make him be submissive without atlking about it. So did you not full read the OP or is your comprehension a bit off??

I'm all for her sitting down and having a conversation with him. I'm not for duping him into thinking this is how sex is supposed to be by doing it without his knowledge.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartlessgoddess

Sorry if my english isn't perfect, it's my second language.

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven months. We are both in our early 20s, but neither of us has any sexual experience, because we come from a conservative cultural background. So you are probably wondering, how do I know that I'm a Domme if I've never had sex before? Well, I know for certain, because I've had these thoughts and fantasies from when I was young, even before I knew what sex was. Vanilla sex (or thinking about vanilla sex) does nothing for me. I have no reaction to vanilla porn at all. It's non-sexual to me. When I watch femdom, it's exciting and arousing to me. I know what I want , and I know what I like.

I love my boyfriend, I can't over-emphasize that, and even if he is vanilla, I wouldn't leave him for that reason. I hope I can convert him. I'm assuming he is vanilla, because we never talked about sex, but I gave him hints, and I even told him that I have a bossy side,which didn't seem to get his interest. So now we are serious (planning to get married), and sex is after marriage according to our culture. I love him and I want to marry him but the thing that scares me the most is the sex. What if we're not sexually compatible? what if he hates the idea of female domination? He isn't a sexist, and he supports women's rights, etc.. but that's not the same as being submissive. I actually want to be with someone who is submissive and not just open-minded to try new things , because I want him to be *turned on* just as much as me. I'm not a true sadistic, because it's not fun to me if he doesn't secretly like it too.

Since he doesn't have any sexual experience (virgin) and I heard that men's first sexual experiences influences their preferences , maybe I can make him submissive, by setting the tone for our sex life early on. I was thinking that I would start off slow and gradually increase the kinkiness so it seems natural and he doesn't even realize what's happening until it's too late. Also, everytime we have sex , I would dominate him a little more , e.g. woman-on-top sex , holding him down, grabbing his hair, etc.... and especially during the ejaculation part ,so I can condition him to associate sexual pleasure with his submission . Then again, he's not a dog, so simple conditioning might not work that well.

So what do you think? can vanilla men be turned submissive? I guess I have no option but to find out
Any advice/suggestions would be appreciated.. and especially from submissive men, if you ever had the moment where it 'clicked' in your mind, what was it about the sexual experience that made you switch from vanilla to submissive ?

quote:

I WANTED to dig inside myself and find that snarly bit of energy and make it work because Carol wanted to explore that. So motivated by my love for her I imagined what sort of energy would reasonably be driving a statement like "blow me bitch" and summoned it up. It wasn't all that hard.