Marriage and Femdom (Full Version)

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PhDslave -> Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 7:20:59 AM)

i'm seeking insights from Women who have been in Femdom marriages. This is a very open-ended question, but do you have any thoughts, observations or opinions regarding marriage within a Female Dominant context. There have been threads about this before, but i'm wondering if you have things that you could offer that haven't been addressed in previous posts. It could be profound or quite trivial. i'm thinking of 'marriage' in this context as a legal binding contract. You know, the vows, the ring, etc...the whole bit. Any thoughts would be appreciated.



DianeB -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 7:36:45 AM)

I've been married for 30 years with no problems.



MsKatHouston -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 9:05:38 AM)

I've been married almost 8 years now.  No problems aside from typical ones you'd find in any marriage.  Our relationship has certainly evolved though throughout the years.  Again, nothing fidderent than any other long term committed relationship.

Do you have any specific concerns?



PhDslave -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 9:17:25 AM)

Dear Ms Kat Houston,

No specific concerns. i'm just trying to get as much information as possible. Ideally, for me, a Femdom marriage would seem to elicit a depth of love and devotion not as easily tapped in vanilla relationships. Again, this is just me and i'm not rushing into anything. A strong, loving bond is the goal and Femdom seems to be the most effective, yet exciting, way to get there. 'Playing' or sessions don't do anything for me. So...if anyone has any thoughts of any kind about Femdom marriages...Einsteinian profound or complete drivel...i'm interested.



MistressSassy66 -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 10:47:31 AM)

While its not the traditional marriage...I have been with bishop for 7 years,no problems except the ones that happen when married with kids.

I wouldnt even call them problems...more like obstacles you have to jump over every once in awhile.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 11:20:14 AM)

I almost married my boy that I released in the mid 90's.  I only bring this up to indicate that I have no direct expereince with a FemDom oriented marriage. I didn't because he began to have a change of attitude and was less than submissive much of the time, among other reasons.
That said, I really see no difference.  As long as the parties are aware and have worked out the dynamic of the relationship, there should be no problem other than the normal ones in any relationship, married or not.
This is about a relationship and the dynamic that makes the people involved the most fulfilled.  If the slave is happy and the Dominant is amenable, there is no reason not to take it the additional step if one prefers the legal sanction of the state and/or a blessing from the higher power of choice. 
There are plenty of M/s or D/s, as well as Dom/Domme and sub/sub married couples who are active on this site and on these boards.  A FemDom based marriage is only a female led relationship.  And that means you are giving over your power or authority or possibly even your ability to compromise, to the Lady you choose, and who chooses you.  Be careful what you wish for!  *Smile* I see your profile says you are new to WIITWD.
After all, what goes on behind your closed doors is really nobody else's business as long as it is SSC.



DiannaVesta -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/8/2006 1:50:27 PM)

I think that marriage and female domination is the perfect union. Doesnt get any better then that.



MistressTaboo -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/9/2006 9:37:55 AM)

I've been married to my slave for 6yrs now...we even have kids...
He works outside the home and I stay home...it's not always easy and it's hard to balance...but I truly believe we have the best of both worlds.  The only time we have problems is when he thinks of himself as a husband and not a submissive. It requires lots of communication and energy...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mistress Taboo



PhDslave -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/9/2006 12:47:59 PM)

Okay....thank you for the observations so far. How about this? You are now or have been in a long term exclusive relationship with a male slave. This broadens thing a little. What issues came up for which you both were unprepared? What is likely to come up? i'm not referring to the typical issues that vanilla couples face, but things that are more of less unique to a Femdom/malesub LTR or marriage. What surprised you when you entered into this arrangement? What would you do differently? How prepared were you two? Was your slave knowledgeable about the lifestyle? Were you? Did you break him in slowly or quickly? How did that work? How would you rate the level of intimacy between you and him? (Not talking primarily about sex). Is he your best friend? Any thoughts on your part would be appreciated?

PhDslave



totalservant -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/10/2006 4:43:42 AM)

well I have been married to a domme, but it was only so she could legally stay and work in Europe.  That was before same sex marriages (she and her lover) were allowed.   It really did not mean anything...except it was good use of me for her..As a bonus. it did got me a green card while she is still in Europe.



PhDslave -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/10/2006 3:47:59 PM)

Would those of You in Femdom marriages or long term union confirm or deny my feeling/hope/aspiration that the male's love and devotion to his Wife/Mistress is more profound than what You see in other marriages or LTR's. This, of course, is totally subjective. i understand that, but believe it has validity nonetheless. For those of You who are formally married: did his submission intensify or level off  after you were married?



Domme4femaleONLY -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/10/2006 4:21:23 PM)

PhD I have been married to my submissive for the last 6 years. I collared him before I married him. It has all worked out great...now...but there was 6 months where he slid and took up the husband part in his mind too many times...meaning showing me too much testosterone. I punished him and had him begin a journal to straighten him out, after making him write an essay on how he was sub first, married second. If this is something that you are contemplating make sure that it is openly discussed about what each expects of the other in the union.



PhDslave -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/10/2006 4:39:08 PM)

Thank You Domme4femaleOnly,

i appreciate Your firsthand experience. Yes, this IS something that is important to me. Oddly, i don't find playing or 'submitting' outside of a relationship appealing at all. It looks and felt empty. i'm at the searching stage and plenty nervous because this would be life changing and i would be so emotionally vulnerable. Journaling sounds like a great way for a slave husband to be able to express his thoughts in a nonthreatening way. Great idea on Your part. Which reminds me...i've talked with and read about couples who go through different intensity levels within a Femdom LTR/marriage and occasionally it drifts over into vanilla or near-vanilla territory before someone realizes it and asks to rekindle the old Femdom dynamic. Has this happened to anyone?



IronBear -> RE: Marriage and Femdom (7/10/2006 5:01:29 PM)

Neets and I have been married for 5 years in September and were together 5 years before that 9 of them in the Gorean Lifestyles. I'd figure we have another 40 years at least ahead of us.. As most know Neets is my wife, Free Companion and a Gorean Mistress. 



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