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FieryOpal -> RE: Thank you to whoever suggested OkCupid... (3/23/2014 1:57:07 AM)
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Princess, you didn't already tell this new on-line guy about the other one from CM, did you? Or that you lost your virginity to him recently? There truly are sensitive, caring, sympathetic men out there--but there are many who are only out for themselves and what they can *get* from a woman for their immediate gratification.
quote:
ORIGINAL: windchymes
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Many guys will sweet talk you until they have sex with you, then you'll never hear from them again. Don't believe everything you read on a screen. He's talked about sex, so it's on his agenda. And apparently, he said just what you wanted to hear, "sex without a relationship is meaningless"...blah blah blah, he wants sex, they all do. Because you're now finding all kinds of reasons that he's the one and you're already making plans inside your head on how you're going to make this one work. And you haven't even met him yet. You're just read stuff he's written on a screen.
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It was a male who stated this, half-seriously: How do you know when a man is lying? His lips are moving. [:-]
You seem like a very open type of person, the kind that certain types of self-serving men gravitate towards. Gaining life experience is one thing--getting burned is another. As for your virginity, you hooked up with somebody who takes kindness for weakness, specifically implicit consent. Aeons ago, I gave up my virginity to a boy my age whom I'd had a crush on for over a year. We'd flirted and hung out a bit, went bike riding a couple times. I wanted him as a boyfriend, but it soon became apparent I was just a booty call for him and that he had no intention of "going steady" and making me his girlfriend. That would have cramped his style. The moral of the story is, no regrets on the loss of your virginity. No shame. He didn't deserve you.
Also, no matter how important D/s or BDSM factors into your intimate relationships, it's like walking a tightrope and keeping your balance. You want to find a man who's open to exploring this facet of sexuality with you, but there are many men on these dating sites who are only looking for one-night stands. Once talk of kinkiness enters into your preliminary conversations, these same men consider a kinky woman (or one who discusses sex openly) an easy lay.
Given your overall sexual inexperience, I would suggest hold off on sexual topics altogether until after you've done your meet & greet and determined whether you even have chemistry first, whether you would want this man to make love to you or not. Stating that you are old-fashioned when it comes to dating is a very specific instruction, and it's your job to not cut corners or offer to meet him halfway. Make him prove that he has honorable intentions towards you. Once you've started dating, you can drop hints and be a little bit of a tease--leave him wanting more incrementally. Have fun and don't let yourself get emotionally invested too fast too soon if you can help it, which I know is easier said than done, especially for us with a romantic, sentimental nature.
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