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So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:31:12 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Based on some posts that have been made here:

Why would a male Dominant say that he's looking for a roommate, preferably a submissive? Does he think that he's going to get a play partner by default? That it will be easy to control said submissive roommate? That he'll have first access to his submissive roommate's sub friends?

I just don't get it, but just seems hinky to me.

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:38:06 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Did you miss the memo?

It's move in, kneel down, suck cock, and pay rent.

It's been updated in the "One True Way" handbook of all things kinky.

Jus sayin
Exiled

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:39:00 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		I am with you on that Oside. That just does not sound like it is on the "up and up". Of course I really do not know why the add is posted or where, but even on a kinky site My brain would still scream "predator... run away, run away".

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:39:17 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		The cynical part of me would guess they're expecting kinky playmate, maid, and income source in one, without having to commit themselves to an actual relationship.

Actually, all of me would guess that.

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:42:12 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Did you miss the memo?


Yanno....you guys must be having nightly meetings to update the BDSM rulebook, either that or you're holding a G6 Conference or something.....


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:44:50 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		G6... um... er.... I have no idea what your... crap!

RON! We need a smoke screen in here!

Wait... you want the ball? You want it, want it? (throws the ball) GO GET THE BALL!!!!

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:46:11 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

The cynical part of me would guess they're expecting kinky playmate, maid, and income source in one, without having to commit themselves to an actual relationship.

Actually, all of me would guess that.


That's pretty much what I'm thinking too.

But, then the next logical thought is "Why does he think that someone wouldn't have boundaries, just because they're submissive?" "Doesn't he realize that if the roommate doesn't have boundaries, it usually means they have issues?" And lastly, "Doesn't he realize that life will become hell when the roommate/D/s thing gets messy?"


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:47:17 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		This:


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

The cynical part of me would guess they're expecting kinky playmate, maid, and income source in one, without having to commit themselves to an actual relationship.

Actually, all of me would guess that.



Plus he has a heavy advantage in that he controls where she lives. I consider it red flag behavior.

I know, I know, it doesn't mean *every* dom looking for a sub roommate is Ted Bundy, but it gets my spidey sense on alert for sure.

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:51:03 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		I suspect it's all about the misconstrued concept of D/s and the proliferation of FinDom. Some people are drawn here because they identify with kink and are looking for an education or at least the idea that it is acceptable. Then we have a shit load of wankers that think kinky girls are easy, they stumble across the idea of CONTROL, and think it'll all be about my first post.

Jus sayin

Exiled

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Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:52:38 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

This:


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

The cynical part of me would guess they're expecting kinky playmate, maid, and income source in one, without having to commit themselves to an actual relationship.

Actually, all of me would guess that.



Plus he has a heavy advantage in that he controls where she lives. I consider it red flag behavior.

I know, I know, it doesn't mean *every* dom looking for a sub roommate is Ted Bundy, but it gets my spidey sense on alert for sure.


Ted Bundy might be a nice change. Most of the guys on the other side are Al Bundy.

Jus sayin

Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:53:25 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have to say that I agree. I wouldn't see anything wrong with advertising for a 'kink friendly' roommate, as most folks looking for someone to share the rent are still going to want to be able to play in their own home. That's kind of a different deal, though.


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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:53:37 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


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Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

The cynical part of me would guess they're expecting kinky playmate, maid, and income source in one, without having to commit themselves to an actual relationship.

Actually, all of me would guess that.


That's pretty much what I'm thinking too.

But, then the next logical thought is "Why does he think that someone wouldn't have boundaries, just because they're submissive?" "Doesn't he realize that if the roommate doesn't have boundaries, it usually means they have issues?" And lastly, "Doesn't he realize that life will become hell when the roommate/D/s thing gets messy?"



Most likely he's living in a fantasy land where subs are submissive to everyone. She'll just be so eager to please that she'll naturally WANT to do his dishes and laundry. She'll be so turned on by his general dominant air that she'll be DYING to suck his cock. No complications in his mind.

Plus what Chatte said about the potential to pressure someone in compliance when you have control of their home.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 10:56:41 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant



Ted Bundy might be a nice change. Most of the guys on the other side are Al Bundy.

Jus sayin

Exiled



No fucking shit ! Al looks like a dream hunk compared to most.

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:02:13 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		We can change the rulebook anytime we like. Section Six, sub-paragraph four, unless that's been changed as well. The rules get changed whenever challenged, didn't you know?

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:05:18 AM   
MasterCaneman


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Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Have to say that I agree. I wouldn't see anything wrong with advertising for a 'kink friendly' roommate, as most folks looking for someone to share the rent are still going to want to be able to play in their own home. That's kind of a different deal, though.


That makes sense on some levels, as long as there's a clear-cut demarcation of what is reasonable and expected from both parties. I've recently been discussing a former roommate with someone here, and the idea of a formal sub-lease (the original term, not the kinky one) would be advisable in situations like this. I saw the post as well, and it could be entirely innocent and just somebody wanting a room mate he doesn't have to hide his toys from.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:07:13 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61

I am with you on that Oside. That just does not sound like it is on the "up and up". Of course I really do not know why the add is posted or where, but even on a kinky site My brain would still scream "predator... run away, run away".



Maybe the motive isn't malice, just more "all subs are sluts" ineptitude?

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:32:16 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61

I am with you on that Oside. That just does not sound like it is on the "up and up". Of course I really do not know why the add is posted or where, but even on a kinky site My brain would still scream "predator... run away, run away".



Maybe the motive isn't malice, just more "all subs are sluts" ineptitude?

hlen5... that of course is a possibility. Never said My first thought would be the accurate one. Just saying

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Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:43:47 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman
I saw the post as well, and it could be entirely innocent and just somebody wanting a room mate he doesn't have to hide his toys from.


Yeah, but then why specify "submissive"? If it's just someone that can handle your toys and occasional loud sex, then there's no need to specify either gender or orientation.




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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:50:04 AM   
Buddapan


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		The first thing that came to mind when I read the post is why does a single male, or why would a single male want a roommate in the first place. My guess is he has worked this site to the point that for whatever reason he can't get a sub through advertising so he thought he may have better luck if he sweetened the pot. By saying he is looking for a roommate he will be attractive to either young girls that can't afford to live alone, or some married woman that has split with her partner and may find herself in financal difficulty.
This website as does many others like it advertise themselves as a place for people to meet that are insterested in the BDSM world. If one were to do a head count of the people that were true dom's or sub's on any of these type sites you would find maybe 20% were here for that reason. Many men are here because they think theirs a chance they might get laid, some like to read the profiles and look at photo's and some are here because for whatever reason their married life sucks and never get sex at home. Finally you have the men that are true Master/Dom/Subs and they work very hard to connect with whatever type person they may be looking for. Next you have the women that are here wanting to make friends to chat with, some also like looking at photo's and reading profiles. Some are married and not getting what they want at home. A great many of them are looking to find someone to marry with the hope that the one they find will be take charge in the bedroom. Then like the men, you have a few that are actually Domme/sub and want to find a partner that lives this type of life.

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RE: So, I'm curious - 3/22/2014 11:59:10 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Buddapan

The first thing that came to mind when I read the post is why does a single male, or why would a single male want a roommate in the first place.
I'm not going to disparage someone for not being able to afford living alone. It happens. Hell, a one bedroom apartment in our area is $1200 a month. Renting a house in our area is $2400 a month.

quote:

If one were to do a head count of the people that were true dom's or sub's on any of these type sites you would find maybe 20% were here for that reason.
I dare you to define the word "true" in that context. What's true to me may not be true to you.

quote:

Many men are here because they think theirs a chance they might get laid, some like to read the profiles and look at photo's and some are here because for whatever reason their married life sucks and never get sex at home.
I will agree that many think submissive women are easy (and that's not just relegated to online communities) and I'll also agree that he thinks that by approaching as a roommate it will be easier than searching as a Dominant.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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