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cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 4:34:28 PM

nanoman9000

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My wife cuckolded me twice to show me she is in charge. She says just because she can doesnt mean she will do it again because she loves me too much now. But she reminds me it is always het choice. Think she does it behind my back, which is what she did first. I think she is waiting to tell me when she knows i wont get angry and jealous.

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 4:38:29 PM

UllrsIshtar

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Where's the questions?

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 4:41:51 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Not sure why you felt the need to come to a message board full of strangers and use your very first post ever to disclose the gory details of your sex life, but um...congrats? Maybe you'd like to make your second post a proper introduction (there's a forum for that) that tells us about you in a fashion similar to what you'd use at a cocktail party. That would be a bit more appropriate.

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 6:23:44 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nanoman9000

My wife cuckolded me twice to show me she is in charge. She says just because she can doesnt mean she will do it again because she loves me too much now. But she reminds me it is always het choice. Think she does it behind my back, which is what she did first. I think she is waiting to tell me when she knows i wont get angry and jealous.

This was my first reaction, to ask whether you are either in a formal or informal D/s dynamic with your wife, or whether you are both caught up in melodramatic/high-drama hijinks with one another as part of an unresolved power struggle? Because wives don't usually stray outside marriage unless it's to do some spite-fucking to get back at their husbands. (A subset of those frustrated wives who are love-starved and craving romance from their inattentive, inconsiderate and/or philandering husbands)

Then to inform you that non-consensual cuckolding is not BDSM, or not being practiced consensually. What you have described is an effed-up and twisted form of D/s. It happens in vanilla marriages that end up in divorce more often than not, and it's called infidelity. If it were remotely a form of cuckolding, she wouldn't be asserting her supposed "rights" as the Dominant partner after the fact, after the "dirty deed" has been done. You would have to agree IN ADVANCE that she has this right to exercise without getting angry or harboring resentment; consequently, the consensually cuckolded husband/SO is often put into the difficult position of assisting his wife/SO get ready for her "bull dates," the prep & primping, etc. Jealousy IS the active ingredient in this dynamic to make it work.

If this is not what you want or can handle, then you are NOT a willing participant in a cuckolding dynamic. Part of what lures the cuckolded mate into this cuckolding lifestyle-type dynamic is a twofold incentive. First, the Mental Torment he undergoes while he imagines what another man is doing with his wife, whether he is a better lover since the bull is ordinarily well-endowed, which gives the Cuckoldress another weapon to use in her arsenal to rub in her husband's face to further humiliate him. Then there's the after-care reward. She returns to her husband that night or the next morning, and then HE gets her sexual favors, reassurances of love, yada yada yada.

With all the non-consensuality going on, I wonder if your wife knows you've been on this site as a Switch over the past 5 years and that you're Willing to Relocate. Has and is your wife on board with this? Or that your current profile is seeking someone else?

What game(s) ARE you playing, fellow?

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 7:33:30 PM

bowedB4Women

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cuckholding is something I may have to make as a hard limit, but yeah, I agree with the last, that relationship has issues galore...

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 8:33:42 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bowedB4Women

cuckholding is something I may have to make as a hard limit, but yeah, I agree with the last, that relationship has issues galore...

FYI, there are variations to cuckolding, and I only targeted one branch based on the OP's peculiar situation. For simplification purposes, insofar as F/m goes, the cuckolded male is either physically present in a triad, or not present.

When he is present, he is either an active participant or a passive one, or a combination of both. There are husbands who are willing to "share" their wife with another man on the condition that they be present to passively watch. Some who have incorporated a cuckolding dynamic into their dyad don't consider a voyeuristic male partner (either the cuckolded husband/SO or the bull) to be an actual cuckolding dynamic, since it falls within the exhibitionism/voyeurism axis.

When the cuckolded male is an active participant, it becomes a threesome or a three-way. This could unfold as m/F/m, m/F/M, m/f/M, or M/F/m; rarely as M/f/m, M/f/M, M/F/M or m/f/m, depending on whether the bisexuality wild card (including "forced" bi) gets thrown into the mix at some point.

[Edited for clarity]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 3/23/2014 9:12:26 PM >

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 8:47:55 PM

njlauren

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Cuckolding has many forms, though usually where the husband wants his wife to have sex with other men while he watches is usually a 'hot wife' dynamic, rather than being humiliated, the husband is turned on by his wife having sex with others.

Cuckolding to me is about humiliation, the husband in some way or form gets off on his wife having sex with other men, but it isnt just his wife having sex with them, it is the way she does it. There is jealousy there, there is humiliation, there is fear (will my wife find the other guy a better man and leave me), and it on the one hand torments him but on the other hand drives him to heights of being turned on. There are all kinds of levels, from relatively mild where the wife never actively humiliates him, to where the wife belittles him, tells him the other guy is a real man and he isn't, it can go from mild to pretty cruel (one couple I heard of, the wife used to come back home after seeing a guy she was with, she would leave her wedding rings at home, and then come back at the end of the night wearing 'the other guys engagement' ring and get the husband really worked up.... to be honest, in some of the supposed real life stories I have read, it seems to me to have gone beyond the limits of play or fun and really seems to be the wife sees the husband as a nothing, totally lost respect for him and is cruelly taking advantage of him...I also have seen or read couples where it is truly loving, where the wife teases him, they have rituals, but in the end, it seems to be just a game, not cruel. I personally don't like humiliation, but I could also see the game aspect of it, and could see why it would be hot to help the wife dress for her date and so forth, though to be a threesome would be a lot more hot, especially getting to interact with the other person:)

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 9:01:35 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren
<snip>
Cuckolding to me is about humiliation, the husband in some way or form gets off on his wife having sex with other men, but it isnt just his wife having sex with them, it is the way she does it....

Totally agree, although I hasten to add CONSENSUAL humiliation, where the cuckolded wants to be humiliated and part of a humiliation dynamic. It can get intensely psycho-sexual, which revs both their engines.

Wouldn't you say the "hot wife" syndrome is more to benefit boosting the husband's ego as a way of competing with other men? as in "Look what I've got--she's mine, and I'll give you a taste of her, but you can't have her. Haha"

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RE: cuckold questions - 3/23/2014 9:30:29 PM

njlauren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren
<snip>
Cuckolding to me is about humiliation, the husband in some way or form gets off on his wife having sex with other men, but it isnt just his wife having sex with them, it is the way she does it....

Totally agree, although I hasten to add CONSENSUAL humiliation, where the cuckolded wants to be humiliated and part of a humiliation dynamic. It can get intensely psycho-sexual, which revs both their engines.

Wouldn't you say the "hot wife" syndrome is more to benefit boosting the husband's ego as a way of competing with other men? as in "Look what I've got--she's mine, and I'll give you a taste of her, but you can't have her. Haha"

Agreed, it is consensual, or should be, where they both get off on it. That actually raises a big question, do the wives doing this get off on it for themselves (besides having sex with other men), or do they get off on it because their husband does? And after a while, will the cuckoldress resent doing this, since it seems more about him? I am sure there are many answers as there are relationships. Like I said, reading supposed real life cuckold tales, I find that some of them go beyond consensuality and it makes me sad, because it just seems plain cruel, where the wife is really, really hurting the husband and doesn't care and he is at the point where he is too broken to care....

Yeah, I think the hot wife is something like that, that he is saying I have this all the time, you got her for some quick sex but the rest of the time you know she is with me....though, too, it can simply be that some men get off on the idea of their wife having sex with others, that she is this hot, sexy woman with a vibrant sex drive:)

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