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subbibear -> RE: A Discussion on Submissives With Anal Issues With Emphasis on Being Taken From Behind (3/26/2014 11:33:51 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joshua69
Say, do you like to get cornholed?
So, a simple question for those of you subbies that are so inclined: Why, in your own words, do you like to be taken from behind by your Mistress or Master? What does it really mean to you?
Yes. But after an anal rape in the late 90's I was so traumatized that I stopped doing it until just last summer. So it was about fifteen years of denying that aspect of my sexuality because of the trauma involved with it. I enjoyed the single time I did it last summer, safer sex rules applied of course, even though it was a one night stand with an acquaintance met online.
Why do I like it? And you ask in particular about the position of being taken from behind? The pelvic floor is a powerfully equipped area for sensation play, so obviously I enjoy the sheer explosion of sensation that it produces in this core area of my body. I like the submissiveness of it, in particular when the act is combined with various permutations of bondage and sensory deprivation. I like that it can be achieved with any number of different toys in all shapes and sizes and styles that produce a wide variety of sensations. I like that it can be established with a toy, in combination with other forms of stimulation, and then my dominant can come at me from another direction completely and often by surprise, or just leave me impaled and bound, then objectify me for a couple of hours while doing whatever it is she/he desires.
What does it really mean to me? For me, now, it is a vital step in recovery. I am reclaiming an aspect of my sexuality that was once integral for me. I need it to be integral again. I am overcoming bad associations, flashbacks, rape triggers, nightmares and a metric fuck-ton of other bad shit by taking the practice back up. I've recently acquired a wonderful new dildo, fabulously soft, and a nice eight inches and thick. It is the same as my favorite one from before the incident. I have been practicing with it and have really been rediscovering the pleasure I get from anal stimulation. It is a process, and I look forward to the day when it comes without any of the automatic negative though patterns, or at least the day when they are so easily brushed aside that they are mere annoyances rather than impediments to my being who I fully am in my sexuality.
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