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Well I'm new to this - 3/25/2014 6:55:17 PM

Ferrari419

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/8/2014
Status: offline

I'm new to the lifestyle and pretty inexperienced but from my past experiences I know I'm a dom. I've been on the site for a few weeks now and I feel like I need to get myself out there more, that said here I am! I'm from York, pa just trying to find some people relatively close to me that'd like to chat and get to know each other then see where things go. A bit about myself, I like cars and fitness. That's pretty much all there is to me, I'm intelligent too and I find more so than my classmates and peers. I'm predominantly looking for subs/slaves but I'd be more than happy to talk to dims too. Any pointers and ideas we can share are always appreciated. As for gender pretty open but I don't like men bigger than me, I'm 5'10" and 160 so there aren't many guys smaller than me. That said I'm into all shapes of girls and age isn't even something I look at. So now this is way to long and I feel like I'm positing to craigslist or something, but oh well. Here I am!

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RE: Well I'm new to this - 3/25/2014 7:03:42 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Hi and welcome to the discussion forum. If you go to the Ask A Mistress section and read the FAQ sticky, there's a section on crafting a profile and first message that will help get you positive attention from women. While it's geared toward submissive guys looking for dominant women, a lot of the tips can be used to craft a profile and message for a dominant guy looking for submissive women.

Since you're new and inexperienced, I strongly encourage you to research kink groups in your area and try to attend some demonstrations. That will help you improve your topping skills. I also suggest going to a few munches. A munch is where a bunch of kinksters meet up at a restaurant, have a meal, and just talk in a laid-back atmosphere. You'll be able to ask more questions than you might at a demo. There's also a fantastic book list sticky in the General BDSM section with lots of resources. Check Amazon and pick up as many as you can afford.

You can also use the Search feature here to look up past threads on almost any topic you can think of. The feature can be a bit clunky but a little patience will turn up a wealth of information.

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
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Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

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(in reply to Ferrari419)

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RE: Well I'm new to this - 3/25/2014 10:37:21 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Hi Ferrari. Welcome to CM and the forums, they are fun, educational and interesting. Enjoy your stay.

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

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RE: Well I'm new to this - 3/26/2014 5:47:03 AM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Hello and welcome. it's nice to have you join us here on the discussion side.

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~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

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RE: Well I'm new to this - 3/26/2014 5:57:29 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Welcome to the fun and informative side of CM, Ferrari.

One issue that young dominants have is that they are inexperienced, and submissive women tend to want someone with some experience.

It's like getting your first job, how do you get a job that requires experience, when you've never had a job?

I most strongly suggest getting out into your local community and finding a group or two you enjoy. Then make friends, get invited to play parties, and observe the play. You can learn a *lot* just from watching. In time you'll find a few dominants who can help to mentor you and build your skills.

This will help you gain the experience you need so that you can go into your fist dom/sub relationship with confidence.

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