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FieryOpal -> RE: Submissive or masochist? (3/29/2014 3:18:43 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ForgetToRemember
Interesting subject here. I think that there is a difference between S&M and D/s, but there is also considerable overlap. The reason why there is overlap can be explained in a few ways:
1.) D/s can be a means to an end for Sadism of Masochism. A way to 'justify' the act of being sadistic or masochistic (she is my slave so I can whip her kind of thing).
2.) Being sadistic or masochistic can overlap with being Dominant or Submissive naturally.
3.) It has been like this in popular belief for a long time (that is, D/s has to involve S&M in people's minds, and thus create a self-fulfilling prophecy). It is rare to see pure D/s and pure S&M separate in movies, porn, books, pictures etc.
As for myself, I am SadoMasochistic, but identify as Dominant in a D/s sense. However, I realize that the masochistic fantasies I have can and easily are confused with 'submissive' behavior. That is because it is natural for masochists to want to be unable to prevent their pain / suffering and that is most easily done and visualized with restraints to be physically unable to stop things and gags to be vocally unable to stop things.
Then you would be considered a masochistic Dominant. Much harder to come across are Sadistic subs, but they do exist. (I didn't know that either until last year, for those of you who weren't aware of this rare combination.) You could conceivably have your steady submissive service Top you without having to seek out other partners. I have not, to date, heard of a Sadistic slave, meaning 24/7 TPE once-and-for-all consent-given type submissive.
You are right about the separation of D/s from sado-masochism. I am an non-sadistic Domme. Gratuitous FemDom porn has polluted many minds, almost to the extent where submissive males routinely expect ALL Dommes to behave like Sadistic Bitches, which we emphatically are not.
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