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How to thank a Master ? - 7/8/2006 3:19:49 PM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

Hello,

my question is: how to thank a Master for his wonderful gifts ?
He always gives and takes nothing in return. This is frustrating
because I would so much like to make him happy, too. I would so much
like to give him back the equivalent, something which is as wonderful
as what he gives. But how ? When I ask him what he wishes to thank
him he does't tell me, but just says that I dont need to thank him.
What it makes even more difficult to thank him properly is that it is
an online relationship with both living on different continents. I several times
asked what he craves for and what I can do for him but got the impression to just
be talking to deaf ears. I cannot accept that he is always giving and that me always taking, this is no balance. What can I do to make him talk about his desires, his wishes so that I can try to fulfill them ?

Thank You very much in advance for Your answers.

Greetings

Angelsmile

Post #: 1

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/8/2006 3:24:40 PM

Milivoje

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

meeting in real life could be a nice gift...

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 2

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/8/2006 3:42:08 PM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

Yes, I thought about that, too but impossible since I dont have the money to fly over the ocean AND he is married.

(in reply to Milivoje)

Post #: 3

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/8/2006 3:48:21 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Angelsmile, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Some Masters have a very deep 'giving' well. So, sometimes it will be years before it is empty.

Some Masters give and don't receive back well and will not feel that the time to receive is right, when they hear slaves using words; as to 'make' him or force gifts on someone, no matter how innocent that may seem. Perhaps it should be considered 'force' is a form of manipulation and thus the premise for resisting.

In my mind's eyes, you haven't met in person yet and just on-line and distant relationship. In the same position, I have also denied any slave/submissive to express their gratification in any solid form. A thank you is all I need. I do not need another gift to store. When there is real face to real face contact and after the new excitement and such wears off, then perhaps a gift may be considered.

This said, the most cherished gift a Master receives, is the gift of submission and unforced is meant to be.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 4

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/8/2006 3:52:27 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear Angelsmile,

Lass, that answers a lot as to why he cannot receive gifts. You might be the hidden element to which could easily see his marriage 'undone.'

Perhaps put the financial gifts if you had in mind giving gifts, into a savings account and let it grow. This will give you a different sort of security, independent of the Master.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 5

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/8/2006 4:09:01 PM

MistressTheaZ

Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
--snip--
Perhaps put the financial gifts if you had in mind giving gifts, into a savings account and let it grow. This will give you a different sort of security, independent of the Master.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

I like this idea very much and agree.

If you do not share a physical connection, the feasible way to 'give' back within the relationship may lie within the signficance of occasional emotional gestures, whether they are accepted or not. Something as seemingly small as just knowing a partner is there to listen - even if one doesn't feel like sharing - can help someone feel accepted and cared for in a way a material gift cannot. Notes of gratitude or appreciation can warm a sheltered heart, even if not verbally acknowledged. I remember a time, traveling on business, that I woke up and checked e-mail, pleasantly surprised to find a cute photo of My (then) sub smiling, with a short note of how he missed Me and looked forward to My return. These simple gestures go beyond distance, and mean a lot....

Best,

~Thea

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 6

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 3:40:01 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Lady and Mistress both have great ideas. To re-stress, IMO, the best ift is your submission, what else is needed?

(in reply to MistressTheaZ)

Post #: 7

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 5:27:50 AM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

Dear LadyHugs,

Thank You very much for Your anwer. But I do not really understand it.
It is a online-relationship and I say "Thank You" to Him all the time but feel in my heart that this is not enough just to say "Thank You". You see he touched my
soul by his words, he gave me back so much strength when feeling weak and down. He is so very caring. But what can I do for Him ? I asked him so many times what he craves for, what his desires are, but feel like talking to a brick wall, as no answer comes. I let him see every corner of my soul but he locks his desires behind this very thick wall. And I can run against it as often as I want I dont get anything out of him about His wishes and his desires. So if I dont know what I can do for Him how can I do anything, what can I do ? Feeling this is so unbalanced, he always giving, my always taking. *sighs*

Greetings

Angelsmile

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 8

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 5:32:13 AM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

Dear LadyHugs,

Sorry there is a misunderstanding here unfortunately. I did not talk about financial gifts. Only the gift of care, of unconditional listening, of giving advise, of being there,
of taking care of me, of giving me strength, etc. these wonderful gifts of a Master I am talking about. So nothing financial. I do not have much money neither to make financial gifts and the would never be so much worth like the ones He gave. I wanted to give him back nearly the same he gave to me, LadyHugs. You see he cares so much for me, but what can I do for Him ?

Greetings

Angelsmile

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 9

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 5:35:00 AM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

wandering4u

Yes, the best gift is submission, but how to when living on the other side of this planet ? *sighs*

(in reply to wandering4u)

Post #: 10

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 5:52:24 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Not a simple question but answer this: How has your relationship been? What do you do? Knowing what he cares for should give you an idea. If he does not want "thanks", how can you be a better sub for him? What does he ask of you? Do it as best you can.

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 11

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 6:46:20 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Angelsmile, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Perhaps understanding what makes some Masters tick, like me.

I've had several slaves. I've had a few long distant slaves who came in to visit and serve a while and return back to their normal life, per se.

That said, when I make a difference in somebody's life by saying some words of kindness, wisdom that I acquired over the years and help others through mentoring, support, training or giving presentations, workshops and 'show and tell' on people per se; I get a 'high' from my students slave or dominants, when they get the 'light bulb moment.'
I feel good seeing others feel better. Perhaps it is the "Guardian" Master in me.

For me, a thank you is much more profound than a gift. It means that you 'got' the gift of knowledge, support, affection, security and made a difference in the journey. Such giving is priceless as well as receiving it is priceless. In a way, it is a gift of life.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 12

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 6:57:55 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Angelsmile, Ladies and Gentlemen;

You wrote;

quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelsmile

Dear LadyHugs,

Thank You very much for Your anwer. But I do not really understand it.
It is a online-relationship and I say "Thank You" to Him all the time but feel in my heart that this is not enough just to say "Thank You". You see he touched my
soul by his words, he gave me back so much strength when feeling weak and down. He is so very caring. But what can I do for Him ? I asked him so many times what he craves for, what his desires are, but feel like talking to a brick wall, as no answer comes. I let him see every corner of my soul but he locks his desires behind this very thick wall. And I can run against it as often as I want I dont get anything out of him about His wishes and his desires. So if I dont know what I can do for Him how can I do anything, what can I do ? Feeling this is so unbalanced, he always giving, my always taking. *sighs*

Greetings

Angelsmile

To me the answer is clear, as a Master. A slave is impatient, demanding and pressing a Master. Forcing submission or expression of submission is not the key to a Master. Keeping you off balance is exactly what you are suppose to feel until you start letting the Master set the pace in all things, to include receiving your gifts.

I would do the very exact thing. As a Master, I will not be manipulated into anything a slave wishes me to do. It is a form of controlling from the bottom or Top from the bottom. No matter the intention, when it isn't on the Master's time--it will not be 'the time.' Master's time-not slave time. Patience and a less 'fierce' / 'intense' and or smothering approach perhaps should be considered.

Perhaps seeing the hidden message as the training has not stopped but, is still on-going.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 13

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 7:17:45 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Lady Hugs. A very telling and important point! as always!

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 14

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 9:00:23 AM

LokisBrat

Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

'

Perhaps put the financial gifts if you had in mind giving gifts, into a savings account and let it grow. This will give you a different sort of security, independent of the Master.

Fantastic advice. This might also allow you to save enough money to have a scheduled trip across the great pond. I say scheduled because I don't think a suprise visit would be beneficial to anyone under the circumstances the relationship is in.

LOKI

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 15

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 9:19:39 AM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandering4u

If he does not want "thanks", how can you be a better sub for him? What does he ask of you? Do it as best you can.

wandering4u,

This is exactly my question. As he askes NOTHING at all of me, what can I do ? I would like to do it best I can but WHAT ? This was my question.

Greetings

Angelsmile

(in reply to wandering4u)

Post #: 16

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 9:33:33 AM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

That said, when I make a difference in somebody's life by saying some words of kindness, wisdom that I acquired over the years and help others through mentoring, support, training or giving presentations, workshops and 'show and tell' on people per se; I get a 'high' from my students slave or dominants, when they get the 'light bulb moment.'
I feel good seeing others feel better. Perhaps it is the "Guardian" Master in me.

Dear LadyHugs,

Thank You very much for Your kind answers. Yes, this is it exactly. He made me see my errors I have made in my past life and I got lots of these 'light bulb moments' with him and he is much older and wiser than me. Yes, this is really mentoring and as You said there is no price on earth to pay for this. I am aware of the fact that it is a very precious gift when Someone makes me change my life. However I would like to try at least to pay it back somehow otherwise it would look like a one-way street to me.

You said "Perhaps it is the "Guardian" Master in me. LadyHugs yes, I often think that what a dominant gives is much beyond what an average human being gives, and also their wisdom. When receiving so much I feel like being touched by an Angel. You "Guardian" Masters merrit all gratitude on earth for being here and taking care.

Thankfully

Angelsmile

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 17

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 9:56:59 AM

Angelsmile

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Forcing submission or expression of submission is not the key to a Master. Keeping you off balance is exactly what you are suppose to feel until you start letting the Master set the pace in all things, to include receiving your gifts.

No matter the intention, when it isn't on the Master's time--it will not be 'the time.' Master's time-not slave time. Patience and a less 'fierce' / 'intense' and or smothering approach perhaps should be considered.

Dear LadyHugs,

Thank You very much for explaining me, this helped me to better understand it and I will await then his setting the pace in all things. Will only make one last try to thank Him and then l will definitly shut up and wait. After a lot of thinking upon it all the time I feel that the suggestion which MistressTeaZ made is a good and cute idea.

Dear MistressTeaZ,

Thank You very much for Your kind answer and Your suggestion with the photo. It inspired me finally upon how I could thank Him and do something for Him. Perhaps a video film would be o.k. for Him - running the risk that it might also appear a little bit weird. If there was not this far distance between us, it would be very simple to thank Him, but with this distance and the fact that he is married it is not so easy.

*Angelsmile will try that - a last try before giving in - and thanks Everybody for the kind help and Your time to answer me*

Thank You All so much.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 18

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 1:47:51 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

For a variety of reasons i wasn't able to give my first Master gifts for this birthday, or christmas, or another special time, that were composed of "things" i had spent money. Instead, i used what i had at hand, and that was the internet. I learned how to do "ascii art" that went together with a favorite song..the printed words scrolling down the chat page in time with the music. (It took months, literally, but i not only felt a great deal of accomplishment, but also it was something that he said no one had ever given him.). This was years ago, MIRC and PIRCH had only switched to color, and the designs were crude at best, but it was a joy to give that to him (and did several other times over the years). i learned how to insert a picture into a word doc (like i said this was waaaaaaay back..lol) and wrote him my evening letter with illustrations. Because phone calls weren't frequent and net voice was in its infancy (and wow am i giving my age away..lol) i research such things as Japanese tea service, and "performed" one for him when we were on line together. i didn't do it with popups, but wrote each word as we went, because he would comment and move, and i would respond, the early days of roll play for me, i guess). i learned how to make a power point presentation with pictures and music, i set up a website for one anniversary -- no one but the two of us had the url. Since there wasn't any way i could make him cookies, or iron his shirt, or give him a bubble bath i gave what i could -- myself and my time.

i hope this helps.

jimini

< Message edited by krikket -- 7/9/2006 1:50:22 PM >

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to Angelsmile)

Post #: 19

RE: How to thank a Master ? - 7/9/2006 1:53:09 PM

Subsekr

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Put a discreet ad in his local newspaper thanking him. Then email him the date and category it can be found at. No names, no references, no way to trace the ad to him... but the two of you will know what it is about.

(in reply to krikket)

Post #: 20

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