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RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 9:11:37 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RickandMimi2011
I respect his opinion
Why? He doesn't know anything about you, but felt free to throw shade at you. I'm also willing to bet that he's single and telling someone in a relationship they're doing it wrong. Don't respect his opinion. Be polite and then ignore him.


quote:

Is there a correct way to live a BDSM life


Yup, there is. It is: find someone that makes you happy and do what makes you happy. That's about the whole ball of yarn.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 9:21:58 AM   
RickandMimi2011


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		I respect his right to his opinion more than the opinion it's self.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 10:20:53 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I've got to say, you showed him far more maturity than he showed you. And much more than I would have shown him. I'd have said "Fuck off you clown".

I can't really add anything to what the other posters have said, I can just reinforce the feeling that others have expressed that if it works for you and your partner... anyone else can fuck off telling you how you both should be.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 10:25:51 AM   
RickandMimi2011


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 10:27:39 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RickandMimi2011

Yesterday I had an Interesting discussion with another dom that seemed to do nothing but criticize how me an my slave lived this lifestyle. He said that we were acting childish, and disgracing the lifestyle with our profiles. I respect his opinion regardless of how I may personally feel about it, but it made me think. Is there a correct way to live a BDSM life or is it more up to the individual participants to decide what it means to them? I welcome any discussion and look forward to hearing what the actual community thinks.

Fuck him.
It's one thing having an opinion. Everyone's got a right to them idiotic as they may sometimes be.
Going around sharing them unsolicited is freaking rude.
Doing so to strangers is worse. Crass at best, unacceptable at worse.
Anyone who tried that shit with me would stand a whelk's chance in a supernova

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 10:32:15 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: RickandMimi2011
Yesterday I had an Interesting discussion with another dom that seemed to do nothing but criticize how me an my slave lived this lifestyle. He said that we were acting childish, and disgracing the lifestyle with our profiles.


I don't get how any safe consensual behavior could disgrace the lifestyle. Have fun and don't put too much stock in what people on the internet say, to put things in perspective we have a guy around here who thinks unicorns are real.


LOL, As in the unicorn individual or the unicorn mythical creature? Where is this guy hiding? Sounds like s fun conversation waiting to happen.
To the couple in the OP, I agree with what most people have to say on the matter. Ignore the scam artists who had you make those entries in your journal, likely fishing for information or money. You seem like a nice, young and idealistic couple. Personally I love big dreamers. Just keep being happy in the lifestyle and I hope your aspirations of polyamory come to fruition. :-)

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Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

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The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 10:36:02 AM   
RickandMimi2011


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you. I try not to put too much stock in the ramblings of close minded people. Nothing good ever comes from it.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 10:53:40 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RickandMimi2011

I respect his right to his opinion more than the opinion it's self.


Having an opinion is fine; emailing a stranger with unsolicited profile critique is another thing.

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 11:01:24 AM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline 		There are no right and wrong ways (outside of safety considerations) to "do" this lifestyle.

However, speaking to your profile specifically, there are certainly more successful approaches and arrangements (in terms of attracting consenting adults) and less successful approaches and arrangements. You can want what you want and have 100% freedom to define your situation as you wish, but please be realistic in terms of how many actual people out there would be willing to sign on to your situation. With that said, good luck finding what you seek…..




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~ ftp

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 2:33:38 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'm also willing to bet that he's single and telling someone in a relationship they're doing it wrong

ROFL, always one of my favorites!


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 3:44:34 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		~fr

Yes there is a right way and a wrong way.

If you are not all enjoying what is happening, you are doing it wrong.

If you are unintentionally causing harm like permanent marks or nerve damage, you are doing it wrong.

If you are putting yourself or someone at undue risk, you are doing it wrong.




_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 5:04:14 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RickandMimi2011
Yesterday I had an Interesting discussion with another dom that seemed to do nothing but criticize how me an my slave lived this lifestyle. He said that we were acting childish, and disgracing the lifestyle with our profiles. I respect his opinion regardless of how I may personally feel about it, but it made me think. Is there a correct way to live a BDSM life or is it more up to the individual participants to decide what it means to them? I welcome any discussion and look forward to hearing what the actual community thinks.

There are lots of different "right" ways. However, unlike some people, I also believe there are "wrong" ways to do it. I have personal boundaries for what I consider "unhealthy," "abusive," and "motherfucking insane," and I'm not going to go any of those places. (In case you're interested, my boundaries are primarily mental, not physical. I'm willing to do a lot of physical things other people won't, while there is a lot of mental domination that I refuse to engage in.)

Some of that I'm willing to say is just my own definition of what is correct, and if you're different, rock on with your bad self. Other stuff, hell yes I'm going to judge and apply my principles to other people's relationships.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/28/2014 7:01:36 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Of course there is a right way.

And harm none, do as thou wilt.

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Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to FelineRanger)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/29/2014 12:45:15 AM   
KeepCalmCreepOn


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/28/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

To me, for instance, the title connotes someone extremely experienced and knowledgeable about the lifestyle, and who has learned to master Her or Himself. IMO, this is not you.

But carry on with your masterful self.


I love your brain, plain and simple.
(In other words you made me laugh at your blunt and imo true comments, and I love it.)

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/29/2014 7:14:23 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
LOL, As in the unicorn individual or the unicorn mythical creature? Where is this guy hiding? Sounds like s fun conversation waiting to happen.


Mythical creature, just say "circumcision" over in politics and religion and he'll show up. We used to have another person around here who would post about how he wasn't taking his court ordered medication for a certain mental health issue. And the list goes on.....

The point for the original poster being that just because somebody hangs out on a free internet dating site doesn't necessarily mean they're worth your time.

(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/29/2014 9:08:09 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I'm also willing to bet that he's single and telling someone in a relationship they're doing it wrong

ROFL, always one of my favorites!


Or trying to maneuver himself into position to replace him as her partner, another fun game I've heard 'mentors' doing.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/29/2014 4:26:50 PM   
RickandMimi2011


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		Whatever his intentions were he didn't make either of us feel like listening to him.

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/29/2014 5:20:07 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RickandMimi2011
Is there a correct way to live a BDSM life


No

quote:

or is it more up to the individual participants to decide what it means to them?


Yes



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to RickandMimi2011)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is there a "Right Way" to bdsm? - 3/30/2014 2:03:54 PM   
RickandMimi2011


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		That's what I tried to tell him. He didn't seem interested in listening too much.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 39
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