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Mercnbeth -> RE: Psychology questions (11/23/2004 3:01:31 PM)
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quote:
Being a sub for me is boring because if I don't engage my brain in full, I become bored easily.
Duretu,
I congratulate and encourage your self evaluation in anticipation of becoming immersed in this lifestyle. It's a maze like path, difficult, slow, and sometimes very humbling. As I have said to many, enjoy the journey as much as you plan on enjoying the destination it takes you.
I wanted to comment on two points from the above quote. You currently seem to have an opinion that a sub doesn't need to engage their brain in full. In all my experience, I have never know a submissive such a submissive. When you consider the mental and physical process a submissive must undertake just to identify themselves as such, I think you will find it takes a considerable amount of brain power. Then once identified the submissive must think constantly how to please their Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme. Many have lifestyle rules, speech protocol, positions, and service duties. A submissive must be able to evaluate their Master's feelings, and act appropriately. he/she must always be attuned to their responsibility to the M/s or D/s relationship. I always respected and held in great esteem the submission of another to me. What gives it such value and worth is the appreciation for all that it involves.
The second point is about boredom. A submissive's tasks may be mundane and repetitive at times, especially during training. But I know of no sub that ever considered their submission boring. I think you'll find boredom a two way street. Your may feel your sub is there to 'entertain' you, but you must be an interesting and active participant in your relationship or it can be just as boring from the Dom side.
You are on the right path, asking questions, looking for references any place you can find them. I happen to agree that psychology is a great tool to use, not only within the lifestyle but life in general. Of all the college courses I took I think I use what I learned in psychology, in business as well as life, more then any other. Just be careful of "Sophomore Psychosis". (Don't think you have every mental defect you read about)
As others have said there is no Lifestyle Manual. What's "best" is what you feel applies to you, your personal goals, and your relationship goals. My suggestion and one easy to accomplish, is to take the time and write your goals down on paper. Refer to them regularly, update them when needed, and when you achieve any one of them - celebrate! Even if when you achieve it, it turns out to be 'no big thing'; at one time it was big enough and important enough to write down - so celebrate!
Good Luck and good fortune to you!
Oh and I couldn't resist commenting. Prior to responding to anyone I always check out the persons profile. I must comment that I've never heard anyone refer to Jericho, NY, or any part of Long Island as a remote and mountainous place. I know it's considered the "North Shore" of LI, but if memory serves it's less then 30 miles from NYC. I think you can find a LOT of great lifestyle places to play, learn, and meet great people.
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