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Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 5:51:32 AM   
bluerock


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/24/2014
Status: offline 		Why its so hard to find a real sub ? I'm looking someone online but not found anyone yet :(
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:05:00 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		Define "real". What is fake to you may be real to someone else. Think more in terms of compatibility rather than real/fake.

Also, this site is not "Subs 'R' Us". There aren't aisles and aisles of subs to choose from. Male doms outnumber female subs and so we can afford to be choosy. Why should a sub choose to submit to you? What makes you special? Complaining after joining a week ago is not very appealing. It shows impatience which is not a dominant characteristic.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to bluerock)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:09:39 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		If she has fake tities I'll take her anyway... then I'll introduce her as my semi-fake sub.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:25:37 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. You've been on collarme one whole week.
2. This paragraph will drive women away: "Well...I'm new to BDSM world and exploring little bit everyday and I bet its amazing. If you are expecting perfection, don't message me."
3. If the above didn't, this will: "There is no romantic love involved, but a love of having made my life easier by your domestic, sexual, and masochistic dedication to my needs."
4. I don't know how tough it is to navigate the scene in India.

Fella, submissives like to submit to someone they care about. Your profile doesn't tell them if they'd care for you or not. And where did you get the idea that romantic love is out of the question? Are you married and looking for a sub on the side?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:29:23 AM   
bluerock


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/24/2014
Status: offline 		Fake means...people post their skyp, yahoo ids and when we try to chat they asks for money which was not expected. What im expecting is chat, discussion, get to know each other and if everything goes fine probable move further but it doesn't seems to be happening. I think ...I should give some time so you are right...I'm being impatient :)

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:39:17 AM   
CoastalRaven


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/29/2014
From: Conway, SC
Status: offline 		What do you mean by finding a "real" sub? There are real subs everywhere. In my personal experience, when it comes to Male Dominants and female subs, most of the kinky women I've met haven't been able to find a man who is compatible with their sexuality, so they settle with non-Dominant men because they want a relationship. In your daily life, you are probably walking and driving past a hundred potential submissives in a day that you simply never have the chance to meet.

When I met my first sub, she was already in a relationship, but they were separated. She had revealed to him that she was into kink and heavy bondage, but he just thought she was "weird" and didn't want to do it. So it's not that it's difficult to find subs. You simply can't tell who is a sub in your daily life without engaging them first, talking to them, getting to know them intimately, and reaching a point where they feel comfortable enough to reveal that side of themselves to you. Patience is key, as it is not something you can simply demand or hope to pick out of a crowd.

Also, the biggest problem with meeting people online is, obviously distance. There is no shortage of people looking for the type of relationships they desire online, but while it's easy to contact each other, it's not as easy to reach each other. Start locally and work your way out, and be willing to travel a reasonable distance. But before all of that, exercise some discipline about yourself, and be patient. The subs choose their Doms. Your job is to present yourself as someone worthy of their service and admiration. That's step one.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:44:47 AM   
CoastalRaven


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/29/2014
From: Conway, SC
Status: offline 		And if I were you, I would amuse myself with the scammers in the meantime, just to stay entertained. If they want you to send them money, get their address and mail them Monopoly money, without a return address. If you're going to be on here and putting up with the riff raff, you might as well enjoy it.

(in reply to bluerock)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 6:48:28 AM   
bluerock


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/24/2014
Status: offline 		Thanks for your comments.

As I said...I'm new to BDSM and I think...I need help with my profile.

Nope, I'm single




quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

1. You've been on collarme one whole week.
2. This paragraph will drive women away: "Well...I'm new to BDSM world and exploring little bit everyday and I bet its amazing. If you are expecting perfection, don't message me."
3. If the above didn't, this will: "There is no romantic love involved, but a love of having made my life easier by your domestic, sexual, and masochistic dedication to my needs."
4. I don't know how tough it is to navigate the scene in India.

Fella, submissives like to submit to someone they care about. Your profile doesn't tell them if they'd care for you or not. And where did you get the idea that romantic love is out of the question? Are you married and looking for a sub on the side?


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 7:00:39 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Your profile really needs to show what you are bringing to the table. If your spice rack of kink is limited, say so, but be willing to explore and learn. The bulk of your relationship will be vanilla, life still goes on, bills still get paid, work is still in the forefront, etc. If you are looking for a 24/2 TPE, you need her/him to "know" beyond all doubt that he/she is in a 24/7 TPE dynamic, and you do this with affirmation, reaffirmation, and then a bit more affirmation when your kink allows.

Words are powerful and can be used for good or evil. In a dynamic, use them for good, save the evil for a particular kink. Nevertheless, a random text such as "Stop right now, imagine my hand wound into your hair, my teeth against your neck, know you are mine... now get your ass back to work, slut!" goes a very very long way to strengthen your dynamic.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to bluerock)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 11:05:31 AM   
Blueswordsman


Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
Status: offline 		If you are a single Dom looking for a LTR relationship of sharing the emotional side of your dominance with the perfect submissive spirit. The shy and withering beauty who needs a rock solid man for strength and security. A woman that can learn love in captivity. The lover to build a life with. The Beauty who will set the Beast free. You will get a lot more interest.

As respects the scamers, I usually offer them a maid with benefits job at $55,000. All they have to do is come to NYC for an interview. Unfortunately, they never come, I think it's my profile.

(in reply to bluerock)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 1:44:34 PM   
shadowborn61


Posts: 143
Joined: 11/5/2013
Status: offline 		Lol send them Monopoly money that is one i had not thought of
Edited for spelling... I hate auto complete

< Message edited by shadowborn61 -- 3/31/2014 1:45:23 PM >

(in reply to Blueswordsman)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 4:10:40 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Bluerock, you've been on CM for all of one week. Sometimes it takes quite awhile to find the right one for you. Add to that that the one who is right for someone else might be all wrong for you, but that doesn't mean s/he is a fake. It just means s/he isn't compatible with you.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to shadowborn61)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 4:31:48 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		Better than monopoly money is possibly Brazilian or something from one of the African countries where there are absolutely MILLIONS of whatevers to the dollar. They look impressive. They have the name of the country on them and the head of some very imposing president or other and they will cost very little.
I personally use the old Brazilian escudo, which was worth slightly less than monopoly money, even when it WAS in circulation. I brought a load back when I was in the merchant marine, just for shits and giggles. These days the Brazilian Real is worth more but I am sure you can find the right currency to play with.
The only drawback is that you never get to see the recipients face when they go to the bank to exchange them.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 4:54:11 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		My apologies..............they are Cruzeiros, NOT Escudos. The Escudo is/was Portuguese. Either way, they are still worth less than nothing.

(in reply to Dvr22999874)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 7:28:51 PM   
merge9


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline
quote:

Fake means...people post their skyp, yahoo ids and when we try to chat they asks for money which was not expected.


Honey, if a woman gives up her IM right off the bat, especially if it's in her profile, odds are she's going to be asking you for money.

(in reply to bluerock)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Looking for sub - 3/31/2014 8:21:36 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Unfortunately it takes time and patience. Case in point, it took me 6 years of being on here before I found the guy who rocks my world.

(in reply to merge9)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Looking for sub - 4/1/2014 6:44:08 PM   
lalbobbilynn


Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Blue Rock Sir(and take that SIR w/ a grain of salt good man.... i live in the south... i say Sir to my 19y/o and Ma'am to my 11y/o, its respectful and shit!!)... i'm in no way a fake sub, yet i found a spectactular Dom here on CM(from another country). We spent a year RT w/ each other, nevertheless, do to extenuating circumstances we are no longer together. On the flip we are still fantastic friends.
And such is life.
i'm very contrite You are being stressed by.... lol ..... fakes.... we all have experienced it, and such fakes could very well be live, and in living color beofre Your very eyes.... try to relax, and as others before me have stated...... be patient.
My best to You and Your quest, Sir.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Looking for sub - 4/8/2014 11:33:44 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: merge9

quote:

Fake means...people post their skyp, yahoo ids and when we try to chat they asks for money which was not expected.


Honey, if a woman gives up her IM right off the bat, especially if it's in her profile, odds are she's going to be asking you for money.


And quite likely 'she' is not a woman either.

(in reply to merge9)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Looking for sub - 4/8/2014 11:45:53 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bluerock
Why its so hard to find a real sub ? I'm looking someone online but not found anyone yet :(

Have you tried here?

More seriously, try SecondLife. The folks here generally aren't into online and don't really understand it.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to bluerock)
Profile   Post #: 19
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