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FieryOpal -> RE: Service Top (4/1/2014 9:34:23 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CobaltRose
Actually the facefucking was also apart of my denial of my true self. And no, i know for sure it wont be easy. I know i will be hated and rediculed andconsidered a freak. I dont care. I still know i want to be a girl. If i could become a girl right now i would, even if it meant having periods. I been in denial. The truth is all the things i want to do to girls are actually what i want done to me. I want to be a girl. My dom side was nothing more than my denial. Just because i learned to "deal with" having a dick doesnt mean i like it.
First of all, you're among friends here. None of us think you're a freak. Try not to pay any attention to the haters in the outside world. They. Don't. Matter.
Not just Dommes, but other women who have been on this site for a while are used to dealing with male subs and their off-the-wall desperately imploring messages, offering exorbitant sums of money to get castrated or to have their dicks burned off; you name it, we've heard it.
Now, the pathological ones aside, I really want to impress upon you that this whole transgender process you're contemplating takes time. There are years of hormone therapy, you name it. None of this comes at an affordable price.
Keep your day job, or go out and get a job with medical benefits. Up to half of a person's therapy issues & life stressors (such as your lack of confidence) can be resolved by having gainful employment where you are interacting with others on a daily basis. There is no shortcut to learning life-coping skills. You have to get out into the real world and deal with people.
The other issue is this. You'll probably have your dick for the next decade, so get used to it and don't despise it, or let yourself fall into a psychologically unhealthy and unstable pattern of self-loathing. Accept yourself, for the time being, as you are. At the 11th hour, it may turn out that you decide not to have gender re-assignment surgery. By then, you may have a Master who wants you to keep your dick.
You took the words I WASN'T going to say right out of my mouth. This is what I suspected all along, but I didn't want you to feel undeservingly insulted. Nothing personal, but this is why I won't accept a sub who has any tendencies toward wanting feminization, or who is cock-friendly (fetishy toward phallic objects). For me personally, a man has to be totally hetero and masculine.
Thank you for your candor, and for having the courage to risk being exposed to the judgments of others. See, that takes confidence.
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