RE: My True Self

RE: My True Self (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/6/2014 7:39:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity I totally agree with you. Sounds like you have questions and concerns as to your motivations behind why. And it's great you are trying to get some guidance to figure things out. It's never too late if that is where your heart and soul leads you. Its just a matter of figuring out where exactly your heart and soul are leading you [:)]. Just take it step by step...one little step at a time. Lao-Tzu once said that "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic.

njlauren -> RE: My True Self (4/6/2014 8:02:23 PM)
Cobalt- Your last statement is very wise, because so many things can cause people to think they are something when they are not. Despite what some of the idiot set might think, people questioning their gender don't go to therapists to 'get cured', which is the province of 'religious' counselors (and is thus bogus), they go to help themselves figure out what they are and what they need. Gender identity covers a wide spectrum, and sometimes people assume that transition is all there is, when people can do a variety of things (on the other hand, you have someone like the head of a local crossdressers 'sorority' telling me that I 'didn't need to transition', that "it is okay to be a crossdresers' and 'transgender people are all fucked up"....grrr. ). There are some gay men who once upon a time wanted to transition because they had real problems with being attracted to men as a male, there are also people who simply are confused, or in some cases, see it as the fantasy of being this gorgeous woman with the sex drive of a man (probably from watching too much trans porn..). You obviously are struggling with something, and you can simply tell your mom that you are feeling depressed, not sure of yourself, and see if she would be willing to get you to a therapist The tricky part might be in finding someone who is experienced with gender questioning and such, a lot are, more than a few of them may have notions it isn't real, it is delusional, etc (in my experience, half of them are dried up 1970's feminists, the other half like that are religious nuts). It is why I gave you links to some groups in your area, they can give you referrals or maybe have their own low cost counseling. It is a journey of many steps, and it starts with that first attempt at getting help. The net is all fine and good, but you need to take the real step, and see where it goes. You won't know if your mom will help you if you don't ask:). You don't have to mention the gender stuff (I wouldn't), I would just mention you aren't feeling great about yourself, are confused about things, and want to talk to a therapist or counselor about things.

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/6/2014 8:13:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: njlauren Cobalt- Your last statement is very wise, because so many things can cause people to think they are something when they are not. Despite what some of the idiot set might think, people questioning their gender don't go to therapists to 'get cured', which is the province of 'religious' counselors (and is thus bogus), they go to help themselves figure out what they are and what they need. Gender identity covers a wide spectrum, and sometimes people assume that transition is all there is, when people can do a variety of things (on the other hand, you have someone like the head of a local crossdressers 'sorority' telling me that I 'didn't need to transition', that "it is okay to be a crossdresers' and 'transgender people are all fucked up"....grrr. ). There are some gay men who once upon a time wanted to transition because they had real problems with being attracted to men as a male, there are also people who simply are confused, or in some cases, see it as the fantasy of being this gorgeous woman with the sex drive of a man (probably from watching too much trans porn..). You obviously are struggling with something, and you can simply tell your mom that you are feeling depressed, not sure of yourself, and see if she would be willing to get you to a therapist The tricky part might be in finding someone who is experienced with gender questioning and such, a lot are, more than a few of them may have notions it isn't real, it is delusional, etc (in my experience, half of them are dried up 1970's feminists, the other half like that are religious nuts). It is why I gave you links to some groups in your area, they can give you referrals or maybe have their own low cost counseling. It is a journey of many steps, and it starts with that first attempt at getting help. The net is all fine and good, but you need to take the real step, and see where it goes. You won't know if your mom will help you if you don't ask:). You don't have to mention the gender stuff (I wouldn't), I would just mention you aren't feeling great about yourself, are confused about things, and want to talk to a therapist or counselor about things. Yeah. I hope i can get some help soon. Its really a confusing time for me.

kalikshama -> RE: My True Self (4/7/2014 8:21:07 AM)
quote: Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic. I don't understand why, at age 21, you need your mother to take you to therapy. Do you lack transportation? Do you need permission as you are on her health insurance?

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/7/2014 9:54:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic. I don't understand why, at age 21, you need your mother to take you to therapy. Do you lack transportation? Do you need permission as you are on her health insurance? I lack transportation and im on her insurance.

angelikaJ -> RE: My True Self (4/7/2014 10:36:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: Yeah. I wish i had someway to get my mom to take me to therapy, but im afraid she will think im being over dramatic. I don't understand why, at age 21, you need your mother to take you to therapy. Do you lack transportation? Do you need permission as you are on her health insurance? I lack transportation and im on her insurance. Just tell your mom you aren't quite feeling yourself and you would like to see your primary care doctor. Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a counselor and a psychiatrist, because you feel depressed. Depression is a medical illness. Or you can look at your insurance card and see if there is a number for behavioral health. You need not get into the gender identity stuff with them. I suspect you are depressed and until you get that sorted out it is going to be difficult to sort anything else out or think clearly about much of anything. As for being confused: you are just barely an adult. At your age, your brain really isn't adult yet. Be patient with yourself and your confusion. Hippa will protect you from your mom having access to your health information. If you signed a waiver allowing permission for her to have access, it is easy to rescind it.

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/7/2014 6:41:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Just tell your mom you aren't quite feeling yourself and you would like to see your primary care doctor. Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a counselor and a psychiatrist, because you feel depressed. Depression is a medical illness. Or you can look at your insurance card and see if there is a number for behavioral health. You need not get into the gender identity stuff with them. I suspect you are depressed and until you get that sorted out it is going to be difficult to sort anything else out or think clearly about much of anything. As for being confused: you are just barely an adult. At your age, your brain really isn't adult yet. Be patient with yourself and your confusion. Hippa will protect you from your mom having access to your health information. If you signed a waiver allowing permission for her to have access, it is easy to rescind it. What, curious, makes you think im depressed? Im mean, i could be.

angelikaJ -> RE: My True Self (4/8/2014 6:52:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Just tell your mom you aren't quite feeling yourself and you would like to see your primary care doctor. Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a counselor and a psychiatrist, because you feel depressed. Depression is a medical illness. Or you can look at your insurance card and see if there is a number for behavioral health. You need not get into the gender identity stuff with them. I suspect you are depressed and until you get that sorted out it is going to be difficult to sort anything else out or think clearly about much of anything. As for being confused: you are just barely an adult. At your age, your brain really isn't adult yet. Be patient with yourself and your confusion. Hippa will protect you from your mom having access to your health information. If you signed a waiver allowing permission for her to have access, it is easy to rescind it. What, curious, makes you think im depressed? Im mean, i could be. quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose I dont go to college. Trying to. Part of me is thinking this might in fact be depression, and wanting to be a girl is just my responce. Sometimes being transexual is real the desire is real. Other times its a phase. No matter what the bigots OR politically correct say, both are possible. Which is why i REALLY need therapy to see if my wanting to be a girl is true or the diguise of a deep mental problem.

kalikshama -> RE: My True Self (4/8/2014 9:47:42 AM)
Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression.

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/13/2014 7:58:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression. perhaps. you know, im worried that if it turns out i dont have gender confusion, then this whole thread will be a waste of whoever came to this thread's time.

kalikshama -> RE: My True Self (4/13/2014 8:03:58 AM)
We're all here wasting time. If you are truly concerned about this, you may wish to add "healthy boundaries" to a discussion with your future therapist.

metamorfosiss -> RE: My True Self (4/13/2014 10:50:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose After many, many years of soul searching (had it in my head since i was 15), i was finally able to admit this to myself: i am a girl....I just been too afraid to admit because i thought i was a sinner, that i was evil for feeling that way. I can't even imagine what that's like. Hugs, and best wishes for you on your journey.

njlauren -> RE: My True Self (4/13/2014 7:19:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression. perhaps. you know, im worried that if it turns out i dont have gender confusion, then this whole thread will be a waste of whoever came to this thread's time. The time in therapy is never wasted, it is a process often of trial and error, seeing what works and doesn't work. There is a statement in science that a failed experiment is often more valuable than a successful one, since it can eliminate a path that in the end allows the truth to be found. Confusion is confusion, and whether you are someone looking for something that is an out from your 'real' life, someone with real gender issues, someone who is fetishistic sub of some sort (sissy, whatever), or someone who simply is confused in general, it doesn't matter, because the key to therapy is exploring things and seeing what sticks to the wall in the end. You don't know until you go there, and this thread is simply a way to try and get you to where you can get help:). The time doesn't matter, that is not wasted, unless you think you are going to get answers from this thread that will confirm what you are, that isn't going to happen. This thread can have you bounce things off of people, but we are not therapists, therapy via forum isn't going to work even if we were, but at best this is kind of like a support group to allow you to see if what others say resonate, but even a support group only helps move you further along, it doesn't really get you anywhere. I saw a lot of t gals who lived on the net, chat rooms, support groups, who intellectualized the whole thing, claimed to be working things out, but in the end, never did, because they never really did the work, they theorized, not did something about it......to make this not wasted time, you need to get yourself to places that can help, and a counselor or therapist is the one I recommend most at this point.

kalikshama -> RE: My True Self (4/13/2014 7:22:48 PM)
Ya, a few years ago I started therapy because I felt stuck professionally, then side tracked for a time into being stuck romantically, and all this helped me pack it in and move back to Massachusetts where I am now satisfied professionally and ecstatic romantically, although he does wish I'd spend less time here, lol. When we move in together, he'll get his wish.

DarkSteven -> RE: My True Self (4/13/2014 8:53:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama Also, your mom will ask less questions if you frame your need to see someone as depression. perhaps. you know, im worried that if it turns out i dont have gender confusion, then this whole thread will be a waste of whoever came to this thread's time. Geez, dude. You might be wasting a few seconds of our time, given willingly. Do you realize the magnitude of the time and effort you'd spend in transitioning? Our efforts are a drop in the bucket by comparison.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: My True Self (4/14/2014 10:01:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose After many, many years of soul searching (had it in my head since i was 15), i was finally able to admit this to myself: i am a girl. All the years of denial, afraid of peoples judgement, no wonder i been so depressed. I am gonna remove my picture and my profile info. Im only gonna be here forthe forums until i am fully changed. I am not joking i really fel this way. My dom side was just my denial. I hope people take me seriously. Because i live with an ignorant brother who thinks only born females are real girls, and a very unsuportive family, barring perhaps one. I need some emotional support. I never got the chance to dress like one but i always felt happier pretending to be a girl. I grew out my beard because i was so confused. I thought something was wrong with me, that i had to be manly to get my desire to be female out of my head. But no, i need to embrace it. Now, first step, finding a way to painlessly remove my body and facial hair. I SUCK at shaving myself. Next step, getting money for hormones. Final step, surgery. This is NOT a kink, or a fetish. I dont care if iam a sexy girl or not, as long as im a girl. Because deep down ialways hated being a guy. I just been too afraid to admit because i thought i was a sinner, that i was evil for feeling that way. Also, just so everyone knows, this is NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. i really should have waited a day. Rose, let me tell you something from a completely heterosexual guy; I saw a girl some years back in New Orleans....stunning...better looking than any "girl" I'd ever seen....I'd have fucked her....twice...in front of my gramma (that may have been a bit of a stretch).....I was with my GF at the time (who used to work the strip when she was a kid....knew the area).....I was astounded once I learned that these "girls"....were other than. (I wasn't from N.O.....a bit naive at the time). And I remembered thinking....in all my kinky guy shit...all the weird shit my insane male brain has made me consider (the obvious....wanting to fuck aliens, or a post office clerk in front of the Pope, Having Einstein tell me "JJ, you solved the whole black hole thing.....you're a gawdamned motherfucking GENIUS!!!!" {which, by the way, I am} just as I came splooging over the top of an ice cream sandwich being eaten by an IRS accountant doing late night returns while testing the first known anti grav machine, I have to tell you..... When I saw these guys, in New Orleans....who became chics....who put their entire histories on the line...every football game they ever played....got breast implants....(and other items dealt with)....I.....I...... I've read stories about people changing careers at 50, who changed their entire lives....just couldn't be an attorney anymore and chose landscaping....lost their homes in doing so because their passion wasn't law any more. Gave up a viable construction company because they so badly wanted to be an employee of a larger firm, literally hung up amazing careers at 60 and grabbed a backpack, handing the keys to their mate because....they just weren't happy...... And in very short order.....(most) were happy..... I can tell you this: If this is what you really want.....if this floats your boat and you will truly be happier in the end....if you do this....you have more balls than any man on this or any other site. Word of caution (from someone who knows nothing about the subject so....take it for what it's worth): It's a one way ticket. In the end...if it makes you happy....go. :)

njlauren -> RE: My True Self (4/15/2014 6:33:50 PM)
lookie- Just a note, most of transition is not a one way ticket with the exception of SRS (surgery) or castration. People can and do revert, decided to transition, go through HRT, some get implants, then revert back when they feel it isn't the right path. Even after years of HRT the body can revert back, and things like breasts can be dealt with surgically if need be......once through SRS, though, it would be a tough path back...

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/15/2014 10:21:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: njlauren lookie- Just a note, most of transition is not a one way ticket with the exception of SRS (surgery) or castration. People can and do revert, decided to transition, go through HRT, some get implants, then revert back when they feel it isn't the right path. Even after years of HRT the body can revert back, and things like breasts can be dealt with surgically if need be......once through SRS, though, it would be a tough path back... Thats good to hear. Another reason not to get SRS. Honestly i really want to be a girl, i just wish i had a safe place to go. Living in one of the 29 states that can refuse service to LGBT is rather disheartening.

CobaltRose -> RE: My True Self (4/21/2014 10:27:58 PM)
Sorry for double post. Anyway, i have two sides, a male side that has an urge to dominate but is weak willed, and a female side that is submissive but is very strong willed. i prefer the later. Cause strong will works well with submission, reminds you you still have rights and you can say "No". A weak willed dom however.....is not that good. Note that this doesnt mean i think all men are dominant and all women are submissive. this is just how my brain works.

angelikaJ -> RE: My True Self (4/22/2014 6:33:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose quote: ORIGINAL: njlauren lookie- Just a note, most of transition is not a one way ticket with the exception of SRS (surgery) or castration. People can and do revert, decided to transition, go through HRT, some get implants, then revert back when they feel it isn't the right path. Even after years of HRT the body can revert back, and things like breasts can be dealt with surgically if need be......once through SRS, though, it would be a tough path back... Thats good to hear. Another reason not to get SRS. Honestly i really want to be a girl, i just wish i had a safe place to go. Living in one of the 29 states that can refuse service to LGBT is rather disheartening. Find yourself an LGBT youth support group.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875