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Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 4:06:27 PM   
Ars158


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/29/2013
Status: offline 		I'm doing this and finding it very challenging. Dom things that are normally fun for Master and slave alike such as dressing her just come off weird and controlling so there isn't much of it. I feel like she's slipping away as the boredom that is so hard to avoid in long distance is setting in and neither of us are really the social types. It's too soon to discuss meeting however. Any advice appreciated.
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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 7:55:28 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ars158
I'm doing this and finding it very challenging. Dom things that are normally fun for Master and slave alike such as dressing her just come off weird and controlling so there isn't much of it. I feel like she's slipping away as the boredom that is so hard to avoid in long distance is setting in and neither of us are really the social types. It's too soon to discuss meeting however. Any advice appreciated.

OK, so to be clear...

You and this girl like to do the D/s thing. So far, this is long distance only. It's getting boring yet it is too soon to discuss meeting?

I readily admit to being confused. What is "too soon" to meet? I get it that if your interest in D/s is kink then yeah, sex long distance isn't nearly as good as sex up close and personal. But why not get it "up close and personal" assuming chemistry and whatnot?

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 8:06:09 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ars158

I'm doing this and finding it very challenging. Dom things that are normally fun for Master and slave alike such as dressing her just come off weird and controlling so there isn't much of it. I feel like she's slipping away as the boredom that is so hard to avoid in long distance is setting in and neither of us are really the social types. It's too soon to discuss meeting however. Any advice appreciated.

I'm curious as to what your definition of a relationship is, as I find it rather odd that boredom has set in so easily,
regardless of whether there is any D/s BDSM or XYZ involved. Usually distance would motivate you both to enjoy
every moment that you can get with each other.

Also, what is a D/s relationship if the D isn't the one in control?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Ars158)
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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 8:39:09 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

I'm assuming this is purely an online or phone relationship?

In all honesty, online or other types of media D/s never did anything for me either. My guy and I have a long distance relationship (living about 5 hours apart), but we see each other at least every month or so...either he comes here to my neck of the woods, we meet somewhere in the middle (well, 2/3 him coming to 1/3 of my way ), or Ive flown to join him on business trips. We talked for a bit online or over the phone, but both of us decided that meeting in person was something better to do sooner rather than later. We wanted to see if there was the same chemistry meeting in person as there was in the other mediums of communication we used. We still email now, text occasionally, or talk on the phone. But never do online type BDSM (we are not D/s ourselves) save for maybe instructions for a face-to-face visit happening that later that day.

How soon is too soon to meet in your eyes? How about her eyes on this? Unfortunately online only connections seem to be based on the idealized chemistry of what might be, rather than any actual chemistry of what really is. Maybe you and she could have a heart to heart talk on how each of you are feeling about the way things are going, where you both might want to go, or any other subjects that might help you two grow closer.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 4/1/2014 8:40:38 PM >

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 8:57:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's never too soon to meet and see if there's any chemistry or not.

Beyond that, when we were ldr it wasn't make work assignments. What does she need help with? If she stays up too late then assign a bedtime and have her send a good night email ten minutes before. If she tends to skip meals, assign healthy eating and have her send you a list of what she ate and when.

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 9:16:04 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's never too soon to meet and see if there's any chemistry or not.



Quoted for truth.

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 9:18:32 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I bet in their case, "meeting" will involve a couple of plane tickets.

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 9:49:56 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Ok you never met.... And you are doing the master slave thing. That equates to doing the husband wife thing and never meeting in some people's eyes. So. Excuse me if I am not to concerned that you are getting bored with your mail order slave and her with her mail order master.


Edited to add.... And just for the record... I did the long distance M/s thing but not until we actual met. We did long distance for almost two years until she moved across the continent into another country to be with me back in 2007... And she is still with me.... Oh should note there happen to be this other slave living with me at the time too and yeah that one is still hanging around as well... Going on over 25 years with that one.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 4/1/2014 9:57:46 PM >

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/1/2014 11:54:24 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Ok you never met.... And you are doing the master slave thing. That equates to doing the husband wife thing and never meeting in some people's eyes. So. Excuse me if I am not to concerned that you are getting bored with your mail order slave and her with her mail order master.




Yea pretty much. As long as it works for them. Other than that I got nothing.

BadOne


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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 5:53:40 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		If there is real interest in each other during this relationship, the online step is just that. It is a step and a good one to determine what the other is really all about prior to the actual touch. If you feeling that boredom is setting in then one of you is really not right for the other.

CP

(in reply to Ars158)
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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 6:33:07 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ars158

I'm doing this and finding it very challenging. Dom things that are normally fun for Master and slave alike such as dressing her just come off weird and controlling so there isn't much of it. I feel like she's slipping away as the boredom that is so hard to avoid in long distance is setting in and neither of us are really the social types. It's too soon to discuss meeting however. Any advice appreciated.


How well have you gotten to know her as a person, as a woman, as a friend, as opposed to just an online slave/toy? Because the "fun" stuff wears thin after awhile. If she develops feelings for you, but feels that she's no more than an online wank for you, yeah, she's most likely going to get bored and start looking for someone who also appreciates her as a woman with a brain and a personality.

I've had a couple of long distance relationships over the years, so believe me, distance doesn't have to be boring. What's boring is a guy (or girl) with a one-track mind.

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 8:08:40 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		It is never too soon to meet for coffee or lunch.  It is hard to have chemistry when all you have is a bit of sex talk which disappears after someone cums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ars158
It's too soon to discuss meeting however.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Ars158)
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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 9:46:43 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		-fr

It's been amazing to me how easy it is to have chemistry with someone online/via text that vanishes INSTANTLY upon real time meet! Definitely something I'm very wary of now; who wants to waste all that time only to find out there's nothing real there?

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 9:48:02 AM   
merge9


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline 		OP - how far away are you two?

(in reply to Ars158)
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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 10:28:20 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline 		There are people who fall in love with someone overseas or at a faraway distance, this goes beyond lifestyle but down to fundamental compatibility. If you truly want to make this work you have to be proactive. You're the man and the Dom I'm assuming, it is your responsibility to figure out how to take things to the next level. I dated an Israeli fellow and things were complicated because his parents wanted him to marry a good jewish girl. He even told me how to convert but decided it wasn't worth it after 2 years of long distance but I never felt like it was a waste of time, he was worth it.
If you don't want things to eventually end like they did for me then you need to make plans to meet, set timelines and not expect her to not eventually miss the physical interaction as skype can only go but so far.
PS; a family friend just got engaged to her long distance bf who lives in France, he proposed on skype, he even shed tears, it was deeply romantic. However I would give her the same advice about planning to take things offline, even as they are engaged.
Another example of long distance= military personnel. This isn't something I see as LESS but different, however we crave the physical eventually, all a matter of time.

_____________________________

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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 2:12:03 PM   
Blueswordsman


Posts: 173
Joined: 10/3/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ars158

I'm doing this and finding it very challenging. Dom things that are normally fun for Master and slave alike such as dressing her just come off weird and controlling so there isn't much of it. I feel like she's slipping away as the boredom that is so hard to avoid in long distance is setting in and neither of us are really the social types. It's too soon to discuss meeting however. Any advice appreciated.


I'm assuming you skipe and telling your lady how to dress is weird for you. It is hard for most men to the small things ladies like.

If you and your lady are finding the long distance relationship boring but you want to get the fires burning. Spice it up. Be creative. Mail her a sweet card, two days later send her a rose without a note or name. Two days later send her nipple clamps. Ask her to write a bondage seen with you.

When it's time to skips, Help her get excited.
eg, Send her an email telling her to
1) Abstain from pleasuring yourself all day
2) Make an early beauty pallor appointment . I want you looking your best for me
3) Get your nails done
4) Dress like you are going to a wedding
5) Underneath ware your sexiest
6) Place all your toiletries, makeup, whatever toys you have were I can see them
7) Turn on you skipe
8) Show me how gorgeous you look
9) Turn around a few times so I can enjoy looking at you
10) Slowly undress and place your close one by one on the dresser
11) When you are naked stand legs spread arms behind your neck facing me and say "Ready to serve."

Good luck



(in reply to Ars158)
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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 7:32:32 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I bet in their case, "meeting" will involve a couple of plane tickets.


Done that. Was worth it.


_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: Long distance D/s - 4/2/2014 7:43:08 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I bet in their case, "meeting" will involve a couple of plane tickets.


Done that. Was worth it.




Totally done that. Totally worth it. :)

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Long distance D/s - 4/6/2014 11:00:33 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Seeing as this is all online, right now you are just playing fantasy games.

Honestly though, if you feel it is too soon to meet face to face, then it is really too soon to have her get naked on skype or cam and far too soon to be doing any D/s.

Take this time to get to know each other as people without all the kinky games.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 19
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