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Collars - 11/22/2004 6:54:08 AM   
MiladyElaine


Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		I was wondering what the manner rule is for collars after a breakup?
Now - before anyone says anything, I know that it should be between the couple. Whatever they agree on. BUT I thought there may be an Emily Post of the BDSM world out there that has already said something about it?
If this has already been discussed pardon Me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 6:59:49 AM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine

I was wondering what the manner rule is for collars after a breakup?
Now - before anyone says anything, I know that it should be between the couple. Whatever they agree on. BUT I thought there may be an Emily Post of the BDSM world out there that has already said something about it?
If this has already been discussed pardon Me.

The Emily Post of collars says the Dom/me (Master/Mistress) gives the collar, it is theirs, they own it & whoever is in it, so in dissolving the relationship the collar should go back to the Owner (if possible).
PS I was given a steel shackle set with collar as a birthday gift, in that case it is mine to do with as I see fit.

< Message edited by LadyShoshin -- 11/22/2004 7:04:28 AM >

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RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 7:26:19 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Not allowed to have personal information to use against me

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 8:52:36 PM >

(in reply to LadyShoshin)
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RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 10:19:15 AM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		My collars were always given to me, I guess you could say as a parting gift. They were special ordered for me and considered a gift.

When I got my divorce I didn't give back my wedding ring set.

If I got a new animal, I wouldn't put it in the collar of an old one.




Take care,





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< Message edited by feline -- 11/22/2004 10:24:08 AM >

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RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 11:27:53 AM   
srahfox


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		hmm, yeah, it really is a person by person thing. Although I am quite attatched to my first 'training' collar I feel it belongs to my Master. If he chooses to place someone esle in it, that's up to him. But really I don't think he would.

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 11:50:20 AM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline 		When I first got "into" the lifestyle, and knew I would eventually collar a sub, I made a collar of my own. I have used this collar on 3 women in my life, they all have worn it proudly, and understood that it has strong meaning to me. It is a collar that is worn when we are alone, or at a function of other lifestylers.
I gave each of my subs a collar that was a gift from me that they were to wear at all other times, as it was a gift, I didn't expect it back.

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 12:17:06 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		this slave's first R/L collar is with the Master who gave it to her, mind You it was her doing because He had passed away and she wanted to burry it with Him.....this slave has given back a collar when the relationship dissolved but as with this new collar and her Master it was made for her and if He decided to release her, she would ask if He wanted it back..... as much as it would hurt to be released and have to give it back should He want it, this slave would give it back to Him.

the collar should go back to the Dom/Domme unless They decide otherwise..... "JMO"




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RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 1:45:58 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 11:30:41 PM >

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 2:47:47 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I've only had one collar. Well three technically. No, official coolar yet with this Dominant I am with now.

Anyway the first one. I had a string of pearls's. I gave them back when the relationship ended. I probably could have kept them. I just didn't feel right. Had a play collar, I did keep. Threw it out not long after the relationship ended.

With the current Dom. I have a play collar. I don't feel I've reached the level of accepting his official collar just yet.
I really don't know which of us would keep the collar if we broke up. I would say I didn't want it. I already know he would say the same.
Anyway, I think it just depends on the two individuals and what they want to do with the collar.

(in reply to MiladyElaine)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 2:58:32 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		When i had to leave my frist r/l Dom He wanted to keep my collar for the memories. I had no problem with that.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to MiladyElaine)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 5:26:02 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		LOL



play collar?

Ohhh Lawd Jah!


Collars are My posessions that I choose to give and expect to be returned.
Sum however have attachments to such and desire to keep the momento.
I prefer however to give them sumthing more perminant to remember Me
by like a tattoo or a branding of My name. I to make My Own collars.
I will on occation let a good slave keep it if begged for to remember Me by.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 5:54:45 PM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		The play/leather collars I was given by my ex, my ex kept, and the daily collar (of a necklace made of antique silver coins) he let me keep. I now wear it as a necklace, and not as the collar it once was. After the relationship ended and I decided I really was better off without him, I decided to 'reclaim' my right to wear it when I chose. Besides, it's a beautiful piece of jewelry, and it was a shame to let it go to waste sitting in a drawer.

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(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 6:04:32 PM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Unless you bought it yourself it needs to go back to the owner....

(in reply to MiladyElaine)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 9:32:20 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline 		i proudly wear either of the collars which my Master (INSIDEYOURMIND) places on me. Each holds an equaled significance for me. Each collar represents His ownership, rights, and dominance of me and serves as a symbol of our D/s relationship. Neither would hold any value or importance while placed around my neck should the relationship end. Geeeez ... to say that i do not like even imagining such an outcome for the two of us is a HUGE understatement. But, i will try to hypothesise ...

The collar which He made would undoubtabley remain in His posession. i am not sure what would become of the collar given to me by Master which He has gifted me with to wear daily. i can only guess that keeping that collar for myself would serve as a bitter reminder of a great thing which would no longer exist. On one hand that could prove as a beneficial reminder for me to not allow an opportunity for the same mistakes which might cause the relationship to end to be repeated. On the other hand, it would serve as a very hard pill to swallow each time i would have look at it (most likely placed way in the back of my dresser draw or jewelry box just so i'd NOT have to see it as a constant reminder ... i'd guess).

As He has already stated, He would want it back. i know *i'd* not wish to keep it in that although it would remind me of many wonderful times shared, they would take on new meaning as 'bittersweet' memories.

Main point remains though: As each collar represents His ownership, rights, and dominance of me and serves as a symbol of our D/s relationship, neither would hold any value or importance while placed around my neck should the relationship end. It's not the collar which holds any value for me, it's the meaning of ALL that each of His collars represent.

< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 11/22/2004 9:47:38 PM >

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(in reply to MiladyElaine)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Collars - 11/22/2004 10:43:48 PM   
atHisfeet


Posts: 52
Joined: 11/14/2004
Status: offline 		does a collar have to be a physical item?

yes, laugh if you must but i am new. my Master and i have had the collar out and i have even worn it out on occasion but i have to wonder about this collaring thing. i found this site searching for more information on the whole 'collaring' issue.

i am yet to be collared but in a sense i feel as if i am already His. i think but i guess i may be wrong that the collar itself is simply an object that represents something deeper. if it is merely a material object why worry about where it will end up?

(in reply to cynnacent1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Collars - 11/23/2004 7:50:45 AM   
masteroffire


Posts: 66
Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Yukon, Oklahoma
Status: offline 		The collar and the one who wears it, belongs to the Dom/me. I don't believe it should always go back to them, but I believe it should be their option. I have a strong belief that the collar can never be reused. It should not be reused on a new slave, or worn again by the slave for another Dom/me. To me, the collar is a very sacred bond. I have never had a slave leave me, but if I did, the collar would be destroyed by fire, or melted down by fire. I feel it would be disrespectful for either to bring something that sacred into a new relationship.

(in reply to MiladyElaine)
Profile   Post #: 16
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