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njlauren -> RE: sexual orientation label confusion (4/10/2014 10:03:20 AM)
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The real answer is when it comes to sexual orientation it is complicated, the whole idea of heterosexual and homosexual as some sort of divide, with bisexuals being this in the middle group (so you have three things you can be, homosexual, only like your own sex, bisexual can go 0-50, heterosexual only go with opposite sex). Among other things, like most black and white thinking, it leaves out a lot of gray.
Adam Lambert could find women attractive in one way, like the way they look, like to hang with them, maybe kiss them, but otherwise not feel the desire to have sex with them.A straight "man's man" can appreciate the way another man looks, like them, in some ways form a lasting emotional bond with them, but not think of them sexually....there have been long term men who have lived together for many years, who basically live together almost as they are married, except they don't have sex, because they aren't into men.....
And you get into all kinds of things, where culture and such come into play, and i am not sure what the answer is. Women are often a lot more willing to experiment with other women, and there is a lot of difference between how they and men can and will experiment. Is it because two women together are seen as kind of hot by a lot of men, is it because women have more freedom, is that women emotionally are freer than men, or are they wired that way? There are guys who love to suck another guys cock, but otherwise are not attracted to men. There are men who love to have sex with men, simply for the sex, but emotionally and otherwise are attracted to women, what are they? Straight women can watch gay male porn and get turned on (a lot of gay erotica's biggest fans are women)........a lot of M to F transwomen, who spend their lives attracted to women, having sex with them, not interested in men, when they transition, get on hormones, etc, suddenly get the big attraction to men, some of which may be feeling freer since now they are a woman, it is a major phenomenon and quite real, but what is that about? There are men who love crossdresers and transwomen , so called admirers, some of whom I think are gay or bi guys kind of using them being with someone looking female as cover for their feelings, but there are those who I think are very much straight, but find trans gals attractive because of something about them (I could go into long details, but generally the latter kind of guy is not interested in the trans gals genitals as such, whereas the form obsess about them. Put it this way, difference is first type of guy when you meet them, first question they ask is how big is your cock and whether you like to be passive or active, second type treats you as a woman, whether it is just to go to bed or maybe more, asks about yourself, etc, and seems interested in you as a person).
I agree with Lance in one sense, that rather than trying to label things, just let them be. Kinsey in one sense tried to deal with this, he came up with a continuum where some people are at the edges where they are totally straight or totally gay, others are in the middle. Yet I have known gay people, a stone cold butch dyke and a pretty boy gay guy, who occassionally have sex, for the sake of having it. I wouldn't call it bi, it is more link kinky sex play to them I think....I think Kinsey was right sexuality is somewhat fluid, but that it is multi dimensional, and it is better simply to recognize people can do things in ways that mystify us, but that's okay, rather than label it, just let it happen as it does:)
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