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njlauren -> RE: Why? (4/13/2014 7:04:22 PM)
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Quite honestly, a lot of men are jerks in real life, and when you add in net based interactions, it makes guys who are halfway decent in real life act like jerks. I kind of think that the net puts a layer of abstraction between people that makes it very easy to get lost in fantasy or as the prior poster put it, objectification. They don't see you as a woman per se, they see pictures on the net, whether it is fetishy ones like you have here, or more normal ones on a dating site, and figure the rules don't apply. Some of them look at profile on here (remember, lot of these guys are not sub), and see a 'stuck up bitch' and retaliate by acting like pigs, others are attracted but see you as a walking wet dream, so to speak, instead of as a person, and it is pathetic, but it is the reality of a lot of the wankers on the net.
I remember when I was still doing pro sessions (as a client), and getting comments from the people I saw, to the gals running the offices, that I was easy to work with and polite, that I didn't demand anything, didn't bitch and moan if the session wasn't exactly 60 minutes, helped clean up after the session and otherwise made the effort to show simple common courtesy to every one there and acted as if I enjoyed talking with them and such (which I genuinely did enjoy). They had a lot of men come in (and a few sub women as well, as rare as that is in pro circles) who treated them like they were some sort of servant or worse, and some of that may be bleeding through, too.
I also saw the same thing up close and personal when I was actively going out to clubs that attracted crossdressers and trans gals and their 'admirers', and having men treat me, not as a person, but as an object for them to have fun with. I am not talking Ds, not talking where it was consensual, but rather where they genuinely were so caught up in the CD's and trans gals as some sort if image from a porn movie, or maybe it was because it was a club and after all, many of the people there are spinning a web of illusion (that gorgeous woman in the tight dress with the seeming big tits, come hither look and so forth, the rest of the time is a nerdy accountant no one would give to looks to....), but they simply lose all perspective, and it was pretty sad and sometimes scary. Guys touching you in places that other places could get them arrested, guys coming up to you and asking "how big is your dick?", or other guys trying to grab your head to force a kiss, or propositioning people with all kinds of wild stuff, no talking, no introducing themselves...and I was kind of on the periphery of it, I wasn't that stunning looking, believe me, and wasn't really looking for anything that strongly, for other gals it was a lot worse. I remember one creepy guy, when I deliberately ignored him, refused the offer of a drink, etc, finally asking why I was acting like such a stuck up bitch, and I finally had enough and told him "would you behave like that if you were in a nightclub and saw an attractive woman you wanted to know better? Would you sit back and watch a guy do that to your sister (if you have one) and not want to throttle the guy? Get a clue, whether a CD out on their once a year/once a month outing, or the trans gals in various states of transition and so forth, they are people, and would like to be treated like one..."
What you are seeing is still common with men, though it isn't as common as it once was. Think of the image of construction workers when a pretty woman walks by the job site, the way they stereotypically can behave, think of the guys who will on the street comment on how a girl looks, or make sounds and so forth.....and sadly, it was kind of treated with a nod nod wink wink by other people, boys will be boys, etc kind go crap. Women are taught not to behave like that, and I suspect most of them, because they have been treated like meat, couldn't go there.
Then I think of collar me, I have gotten some messages from a few women (very few, not unsurprisingly) that were showing interest outside of something I posted, and at least they introduced themselves, wrote something about themselves and were curious about me but not pushy...compare that to the guys who write a note that says "hi" or "U b hot, babe" or "I wanna bend u ovr and fk u", which is about 95% of the messages I get from men.
I also will addd that this isn't all men and I don't want it to be male bashing, women can behave like jerks, too, I have sent notes to some women on here, not looking for anything (I specifically said so), complimented them on something, commented on something in their profile, and have gotten responses that were rude and arrogant when I didn't proposition them, was polite, and they were as jerky in their own way as men can be. One of the problems is is that the decent guys don't go fishing in profiles, they are careful who they send messages to so make up a minority of the traffic you or I would see, it is the jerks that flood things.
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