Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (Full Version)

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BDSMstudy -> Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 4:19:26 AM)

Abuse within BDSM community
The Dutch Ministry for Safety and Justice has commissioned a research on possible abuse in the BDSM scene in the Netherlands and the support structures that are in place for victims. The research is carried out by Research Agency Ateno (www.ateno.nl). They have asked me to carry out a quick scan of the UK situation to allow for a comparative perspective. I am an anthropologist working at Edinburgh Napier University (on other research topics) and affiliated to the Amsterdam Research Centre on Gender and Sexuality (ARC-GS).
Purpose of the research is to get an idea of the occurrence and extent of abuse linked to BDSM activities and/or the BDSM community. The underlying question is to what extent and under what circumstances people might abuse the power differential that is inherent to BDSM. This may be physical abuse or mental. It may be as part of a single play scene or within the dynamic of a long term TPE relationship. The second question is, where do people go in case of abuse, are there support structures in place? Research shows that the occurrence of (sexual) violence in the context of BDSM does not occur more often or less than in ordinary life. Some blogs, however, mention that because of the codes within BDSM, there is little space to talk about or address abuse. These are all issues I would like to have more clarity on. I will also look at the legal framework around BDSM and sexual offenses in the UK.
This research is mainly exploratory and I do not work with an online questionnaire. The Dutch team is doing more systematic work (see https://fetlife.com/groups/49060/group_posts/5256601), but for my quick scan I would just like to get information from those who feel they have something to say about this topic. That can be done in this forum or by directly messaging me. We can also make an appointment for a chat over the phone. Your information will be dealt with confidentially.
Thank you very much!
Dr. Ingvild Harkes



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 4:34:59 AM)

I would suggest contacting CAADA

http://www.caada.org.uk/

They are a national charity at the forefront of dealing with domestic abuse. They deal in policies, multi agency working, training front line workers, challenging attitudes about domestic abuse in police forces/government agencies etc. They would be my first stop if I were looking for information on any existing work and studies around BDSM related abuse. They will be able to highlight what is considered best practice in helping victims of abuse and point out areas in which those standards are not yet met. They will also be able to point you in the direction of reliable sources about the legal issues involved.

Your questions are a little too broad for me to tackle in any useful way and I think you will come across the same issues you would addressing the extent of abuse in any other somewhat-marginalised community. In other words, no one really knows because there are complex barriers to reporting.

I am not aware of any support structures in place which apply specifically to the BDSM community but there are great regional variations in help that is available for victims of sexual or domestic abuse. It's more a case of putting together a comprehensive package, drawing together various types of specialised but uncoordinated support services until you have something tailor made for that individual. If you are lucky enough to have an IDVA working on the case, he or she will do that. If not, it's very difficult to figure out what you are entitled to and what you need, which is why getting the right help is very complicated if you are someone who falls outside the 'typical' victim profile, as a BDSM practitioner might.



DarkSteven -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 5:25:12 AM)

Bullshit.

A legit study would have clarified the term "abuse" before beginning, and would not omit a questionnaire.

I Googled Dr. Ingvild Harkes, and she's an expert on fisheries.



BDSMstudy -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 5:48:45 AM)

Hi,
I have two research lines. I also do sexualities research, hence the link to ARC-GS. I have my definitions and research framework, but am just trying to get in touch with people who want to discuss this. It can be very general: does abuse occur and in what situations? Is there a support system for the victim? Would the person discuss it on the BDSM forum? How would be the response?

Thanks
Ingvild



BDSMstudy -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 5:50:20 AM)

Thanks very much for your input!
Ingvild



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 6:10:34 AM)

You've run straight into a known wall when it comes to researching anything about people who practice BDSM, we don't like to be treated as if we're somehow different from the general population.

Most of us aren't that different, so singling us out because of our sexual preferences is viewed as discriminatory and intrusive.

I think you're going to have a tremendous problem overcoming this barrier.

Of course abuse exists, it exists everywhere. The idea that it would be handled differently is again highly prejudicial.

Here's a great example of how *this* forum handled someone who many of us believed was being abused.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4678794/mpage_1/tm.htm








BDSMstudy -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 6:38:24 AM)

Thanks ChatteParfait for your reply. I know this is not an easy subject. It is true that research shows that there is not more or less abuse in the BDSM community than elsewhere. Yet, because of the nature of BDSM and the coded behaviour it may sometimes be hard to identify abuse, also for the person involved: punishment or pushing boundaries is part of play, but to what to extent? And the intensity of the relationship may be such, that some behaviour may be accepted, just to make the relationship continue (as your case illustrates). So that is what makes abuse in the BDSM context even harder to assess or identify.
Secondly, if the abuse is so severe that the victim needs help, would he/she be able to explain to a counsellor that it was part of a BDSM dynamic? How would the 'outside' world react, or would the person have to hide all these details, simply because no one outside the BDSM community would understand? This is why I need input from this forum.
Thanks again!
Ingvild



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 6:49:45 AM)

OP: You still missed the essential part of what Chatte was saying.

There is no 'coded behaviour' within BDSM - we are people first and foremost.
There is no need to "study" aspects with the BDSM world because it's no different to the vanilla world as far as abuse is concerned; none whatsoever.
It would be no different to having the same study within lesbian or gay associations or within hetero or bisexual or any other aspect of sexual preference within any community.
It is a fallacy that there is an 'outside world' that you refer to.
BDSM is not a secret society like the Masons.

I think you are putting waay too much spin on BDSM instead of focusing on abuse in general.
In essence, your study would be invalidated by its limited study group.


Just my [sm=2cents.gif]



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 7:05:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

OP: You still missed the essential part of what Chatte was saying.

There is no 'coded behaviour' within BDSM - we are people first and foremost.
There is no need to "study" aspects with the BDSM world because it's no different to the vanilla world as far as abuse is concerned; none whatsoever.
It would be no different to having the same study within lesbian or gay associations or within hetero or bisexual or any other aspect of sexual preference within any community.
It is a fallacy that there is an 'outside world' that you refer to.
BDSM is not a secret society like the Masons.

I think you are putting waay too much spin on BDSM instead of focusing on abuse in general.
In essence, your study would be invalidated by its limited study group.


Just my [sm=2cents.gif]


I agree that there's no secret society or coded behaviour, but I would argue that being involved in BDSM does make a difference when it comes to seeking help or legal recourse.

And for that matter, so does being gay, or trans, or any one of another thousand lifestyle issues that make getting the appropriate help more complicated.

Different services are available. Different doors are open to you. A stigma, real or perceived, can prevent people contacting the police or support services. It can lead to the temptation to tell an edited version of the truth, which immediately makes you an unreliable witness when the facts, no matter how benign, actually come to light.

I'm usually one of the people stating that BDSM relationships are not all that different from vanilla ones, but I think denying any difference whatsoever is naive.

The OP has already said that the incidence of abuse is no higher within the realm of BDSM. That doesn't mean it doesn't warrant a look at attitudes which could impact the identification and eradication of it. Anecdotally, we've all seen people come on here who know something isn't right in their relationship but are confused about whether it is abuse because issues of power exchange and imbalance can muddy the waters. When a person is in an abusive relationship, it's pretty hard to see the wood for the trees any way, so I can see how this could complicate matters.

I'm in favour of any research which helps people seek help and be provided with it appropriately. If someone somewhere wants to study how these issues play out within a BDSM context, great.



Chwilfrydig -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 7:15:25 AM)

Count me solidly on the Bullshit side with DarkSteven.

The real Dr. Harkes is heading the iCoast research project at Edinburgh Napier University. I imagine a project involving coastal degradation in several countries in Africa would not leave much time to also conduct a study in a completely different field, especially one validated by a "quick scan" of random people on a kink site.




BDSMstudy -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 7:23:10 AM)

Again, I reiterate that I have two jobs. One is a sexualities researcher. Just for clarification.



DesFIP -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 8:09:49 AM)

So if we call the president's office of the university, they will confirm that a fisheries expert is also their sexuality expert? Because even if it's true, you don't have the academic background to be this.



Chwilfrydig -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 8:35:59 AM)

I sent an email (to her official university address) asking her to verify that she is conducting this study. If she's not, she deserves to know her name is being used here.



BDSMstudy -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 9:00:51 AM)

By the way, with coded behaviour I mean the 'prescribed' behaviour that is characteristic for BDSM - it is what distinguishes BDSM from vanilla and includes all the written and unwritten rules that are part of the D/s dynamic, for example the dress codes, the use of safewords, negotiations on play, etc. It also includes training and discipline, punishment, etc. and this is where it becomes a grey area when we talk about abuse, because when is something punishment and when it is abuse?

In a 'healthy' BDSM relationship punishment and discipline are functional and acceptable, but to hit someone outside of that context is abuse. But what if the sub has not been able to express her/his boundaries well, or if the sub has been groomed or conditioned? How does someone new to the scene distinguish between what is normal in a D/s dynamic and what is not? Consent and safewords are key, but what with soft limits or 'pushing the boundaries a bit'?



SeekingTrinity -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 9:03:23 AM)

~FRing it~

Not buying it either. I've assisted with academic level research and this isn't how proper research is done. Smells very fishy.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 9:13:38 AM)

Sorry to burst your bubble but BDSM doesn't necessarily include any D/s or punishment dynamics or any dress codes or any sort of "training" either.

Your concept of BDSM appears to be somewhat skewed and unreal - the sort of bullshit you find on porn sites and 50 shades.
And, like Trinity says, this isn't the proper way to conduct any sort of legitimate research either.

Abuse is abuse - inside or outside of BDSM.
The only real difference from vanilla is consensual play - and that isn't abuse.

There ya go - end of research. Job done.




Chwilfrydig -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 9:30:16 AM)

FR~

I received a reply from Dr. Harks, and she says this is a legitimate study, so color me wrong.

I still feel posting here is an unusual method of research, but I don't think an impersonator would be able to infiltrate the university's email system.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 10:55:28 AM)

Thank you so much for this update, Chwil.

For the OP:

There are several obvious issues with those who explore the sadomasochism side of BDSM, one of the most important being the issue of consent. What if a sub becomes so internally enslaved or so deep in sub space they are incapable of giving consent? Does their initial agreement to become a sub/slave provide blanket consent?

Not everyone has a punishment dynamic, but it's easy to see that in those relationships that do, it can be hard to draw the line between punishment and abuse. Sadists by their very nature love to inflict pain, what's to keep them from setting their slave up to fail so that they can inflict harsher and harsher punishment?

Emotional sadism is an entirely different issue. Is humiliation or embarrassment a kind of emotional sadism that is okay? What about debasement?

So much of what we do is based on a simple honor system where consent, not doing harm, and having good intentions are important.

Of course their are predators who use the cover of BDSM is find victims. It's one reason why this forum exists -- it's a place where we can tell newbies to get a solid foundation of information before pursuing a relationship or play session.

BTW: If you haven't already, you should read Different Loving. It gives good depth and breadth on the subject of BDSM and I consider it a basic read for anyone doing this type of research.

ETA: I have a therapist. She knows that I am involved in BDSM relationships, she's met my husband, knows about my sub, and has been very willing to be educated about what we do. There are kink aware therapists but I don't think you need one unless you have some very specialized issues,( ie transgender issues).

If you want more help I most strongly advise you to make a list of questions to ask once you have a good foundation of knowledge.



DesFIP -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 11:08:16 AM)

Your belief that all power relationships involve punishment shows you have zero knowledge of this. In fact, the longer lasting the relationship is, the less likely it still has a punishment dynamic.

I'm betting you mean funishment, pretend punishment which is heartily enjoyed by both. The fact that you are this ignorant of what you claim to be investigating says again that you do not have the background to be a researcher in this.

There are no coded behaviors which everyone agrees to. Very simply, the difference between a power relationship and a power equal one is that one person has the deciding vote in case of a tie, but only in those areas that the two people agree on.

Which frequently was the case in my power equal, vanilla marriage. I didn't drive so any automobile decisions were automatically his. If there was a choice between the blue on and the beige one, he could have chosen to let me pick the color. Equally he could have chosen the darker color simply because it didn't show the mud as badly.

At the same time, he didn't get involved with household decorations except to veto a color he couldn't face seeing daily. And since he didn't cook much, he wouldn't have wanted the authority to pick the kitchen knives. He did the sharpening so he bought the sharpener.

You need so much basic knowledge that it isn't even funny. Knowledge that could easily have been gained by reading for a couple of days. If this university has appointed you as their sex researcher, then I'm glad that no kid of mine is going there. They go to schools where the professors actually are trained in the subject.



eleganttrogon -> RE: Your input please: study on abuse within BDSM (4/14/2014 11:10:28 AM)

I still don't understand how a person could be both a legitimate fishery and human sexuality expert at the same time. Maybe an illegitimate one. Sometimes academics suffering from inflamed egos run off and do things that are really ridiculous. The area of gender and sexuality attracts them because it's titillating and makes for entertaining seminars where everyone can think about sex and call it work; meanwhile colleagues turn a blind eye to shoddy scholarship because who wants to fact check that sort of stuff anyway? Are you calling them a pervert? Surely no respectable researcher has ever done work on this, so what's the big deal about letting her have her fun?

And so the marginalized remain marginalized.



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