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can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 11:54:05 AM

master4sub81

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Is it possible to want to be a sub/slave at time and at times u want to be a Master.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 12:03:20 PM

sandyTheSub

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Hello.

Yes this is something perfectly normal. It is called being a "switch".
You can easily look up more Information about that using this keyword. There is even a wikipedia article.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 12:20:02 PM

petitespot

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Not in my world.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 1:10:27 PM

kdsub

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Everything has degrees... even being straight or gay has degrees of truth. Some as you can read feel there can only be Dom's and others and no between. Others think you can be true to yourself and be a switch.

What you have to do is find another that is comfortable with how you want to be with them and not worry about labels.

Butch

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 1:31:43 PM

petitespot

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Everything has degrees... even being straight or gay has degrees of truth. Some as you can read feel there can only be Dom's and others and no between. Others think you can be true to yourself and be a switch.

What you have to do is find another that is comfortable with how you want to be with them and not worry about labels.

Butch

I have no desire to be sub at times and master at others. I am being true to myself.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 1:39:03 PM

kdsub

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Yes you are true to yourself...no reason the OP can't be as well even if his truth is different than yours right?

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 4/14/2014 1:40:00 PM >

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Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 1:39:14 PM

DesFIP

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Master usually implies total control. I don't think you can say these are all the rules you have to follow, and then a day later say none of those rules apply. That kind of thing gets people crazy.

Now you can do that if you sub to one person and own another. Then people know what to expect.

If what you're talking about is sometimes you're the person being spanked and at other times your partner spanks you, that's common. But it's usually referred to as top/bottom which is not the same as dom/sub.

But even then, not everyone wants to switch. Like petitespot, I don't switch. I can't hurt anyone and I don't want to be in charge. I'm also totally heterosexual. Basically I'm boring!

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/14/2014 2:02:42 PM

InHisHeart

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If you're wired to be a switch then be a switch. If you're looking for a LTR, compatibility is important so make sure you're honest with a partner about it.

I'm a sub and could not be in a relationship with a switch, it wouldn't work for me but it works for others.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/16/2014 12:44:15 AM

FightingChains

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People can tell you that you need to be a certain way, but that's bullshit. Honestly, we're human beings. We're complex. Get to know who you are - that is the only correct thing. You sound like a switch - sometimes dominant, sometimes submissive. And that's great. But who cares about labels? Just be yourself, and get to know who you are.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/16/2014 9:39:18 AM

SeekingTrinity

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~FRing it~

Neither my guy nor I consider ourselves a Master or Mistress. We are dominant people by nature who happen to switch with each other. We embrace the duality of our nature with each other. Some are purists who believe in one or the other. Some of us are more outside the box when it comes to this. Both are totally fine.

Be who you are, not what you think you should have to be.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 4/16/2014 10:02:21 AM

AlphaFemsRule

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I'm a sub by default, but I can be (and have been) dominant. I don't fall on any extreme side of the continuum, however; I'd neither classify myself as a master nor a slave in that regard. So yes, it's possible - but I'd imagine most people who are able to change roles are more towards the center.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/14/2014 5:13:12 PM

FieryOpal

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When you use the term Master, how do you mean it? Because you can't be a part-time Master. The closest you could come to that without making a full-time commitment, would be to cyber-Dom somebody.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Master usually implies total control. I don't think you can say these are all the rules you have to follow, and then a day later say none of those rules apply. That kind of thing gets people crazy.

Now you can do that if you sub to one person and own another. Then people know what to expect.

If what you're talking about is sometimes you're the person being spanked and at other times your partner spanks you, that's common. But it's usually referred to as top/bottom which is not the same as dom/sub.

But even then, not everyone wants to switch....

You can be Dominant part of the time (as in a bedroom Dom), you can Top and have your sub-bottom service Top you while remaining the D in the D/s.

It is unclear what you are seeking by your OP alone. Ordinarily I would say you sound more like a Switch. But then your profile reads right off the bat that you want to control:
- How someone else dresses
- Who you will allow them to play with
- How they spend their money (and to send you receipts)
- What allowance they will have

A Switch doesn't usually have this degree of control over his partner, so that wouldn't fit your agenda. A Top doesn't exert control over a bottom in this manner either. Even a Dom has to earn the trust and respect of his submissive before s/he will relinquish this kind of control.

You need to be more specific about "want[ing] to be a sub/slave at times" because if having an occasional need to bottom isn't the same thing as being an s-type, and you seek more control and authority than a *typical* Switch would. What makes you think you qualify to control your partner's finances with financial domination? Are you a finance major or a financial consultant? If this is just your kink, then your pool of potential submissives is further diminished by those who are seeking a (Switchy) gay fin-Dom. Whatever the case may be, you need to fully disclose your tendencies up front.

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/15/2014 8:51:38 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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Sure, OP. It's called being a switch.

It's not for everyone but, for some, it's right where they feel best. The important thing is to find a compatible person (or people) to switch with. There is even a CM forum called Ask a Switch.

I remember when I was switching. That happened after I'd been play partners for awhile w/ a switch guy. I was the sub but, as my switching gravitated more toward Domme, he was expressing more interest in his sub side, so we switched roles seamlessly and naturally. It was amazing while it lasted. As a matter of fact, I actually learned a lot from him.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 5/15/2014 8:52:27 PM >

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/16/2014 4:52:10 AM

BecomingV

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OP - yes, it's possible.

When you identify with more than one side of the kneel, that's a Switch. If you are talking about yourself, then it's good to do a lot of reading to help you tweak your profile to reflect the complexity.

I use, Switch, to describe myself, rather than, switch, because if I have to step away from the middle, between Domme and submissive, I'll lean towards Domme. I do that to discourage Doms who think that female switches are really submissives who have an occasional need to peg someone. LOL What can I say? Idiots abound! Switch, is not about topping and bottoming, rather, it's about dominance and submission.

Also, the term master, in Leather, or Old Guard, can be male or female, and in that world, masters begin as submissives. Someone correct me here, if needed... should I say "most" begin as submissives?

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/16/2014 4:53:44 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: master4sub81

Is it possible to want to be a sub/slave at time and at times u want to be a Master.

You can be anything you want but you just need to find someone who can accept your split personality :) Look out for switches, there are plenty out there!

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/21/2014 10:29:36 AM

MsNymph

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I am submissive to my Dom/Fiance, but I am also a Mistress over others. Those feelings come from within me to be who I am with different people.

MN

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/22/2014 7:19:46 PM

slaveoubliette

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lol switch's are nothing but people who can't make up there mind they are Hedinists

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RE: can you be sub/master - 5/22/2014 7:27:25 PM

PandoraFoxxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveoubliette

lol switch's are nothing but people who can't make up there mind they are Hedinists

Switches.
Hedonists.
A switch is someone who enjoys both aspects of power dynamics and revels both being in control and giving up control. A switch can often have a preferred role - one which suits them better - and more often than not they will lean towards that role, depending on their personal journey. However, that does not mean that they cease to enjoy the other side. It has little to nothing to do with not being able to make up one's mind. On the contrary, it has quite a lot to do with knowing oneself and ones desires and needs with regards to D/s.

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