Do you love feeling inferior to your D person?

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Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 2:50:09 AM

Lec

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That's the question!

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 2:56:34 AM

sexyred1

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No because I am not inferior to anyone.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 3:10:08 AM

RaspberryLemon

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No, and he doesn't make me feel inferior. Neither of us wants that.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 3:25:00 AM

InHisHeart

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I am not inferior to him, he doesn't see me as inferior and neither of us would want me to feel inferior.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 4:43:00 AM

petitespot

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Inferior? Nah. That's for pussies.
It's so much more satisfying being dominated by someone I'm fucking equal to.

Also....I can't think of a single person who I would feel inferior to.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 5:03:29 AM

FieryOpal

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I wouldn't want a sub who feels inferior to me or to anybody else. What good is his submission to me if it comes from a place devoid of personal power?

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 5:11:25 AM

searching4mysir

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FR

Another one here saying not inferior to anyone. We are opposite sides of the same coin, but equals. He cannot exhibit his dominance without my submission. We are yin and yang.

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No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 5:25:01 AM

shadowborn61

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For me to submit to anyone i would have to feel as if they see me as an equal. I could never submit to someone who see's me as inferior it would feel more like me being used than me submitting for use if that makes any sense.
I think FieryOpal said it best.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 5:29:58 AM

Lec

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I agree completely with all of you, i was just checking it. I was curious if there are some who enjoy this superiority/inferiority dynamics. I know I don't enjoy it.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 5:46:25 AM

favesclava

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No. Never felt inferior. We just had different roles. Always made me feel appreciated in and out of the bedroom.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 6:17:57 AM

Lec

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Can you relate to this inferiority thing at least as a fantasy? Or feeling like that in a scene, or behaving like inferior, even though you know you're equal?

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 7:08:05 AM

Greta75

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I think alot of folks here do not like the word "inferior" because it made it sound like the dom is settling for damage goods or something.

But I definitely prefer a dom who is more intelligent, fitter, and wiser and more calm and patient than me. I seldom meet people calmer and more patient than me frankly for a start frankly. I know one male in my life who is an incredible source of endless positivity and calm and serene energy in my life and his literally the only person I know who beats me in being Zen. I call him my personal cheerleader. His fabulous.

I do want someone who beat me in everything. But I will never feel inferior to him, because I'm a woman, and hey, even the top female runner cannot beat the top male runner, so I live with my limitations as a female :) I like to use running because when I was in school, only the top 3 male runners could outrun me. So I do beat alot of males.

We are "delicate" protector and giver of life, and the man is made to be stronger to protect us.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/16/2014 7:13:30 AM >

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 7:50:45 AM

Lec

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i would like to know also what you think about stereotypical porn fantasy dynamics between Femdommes and male subs, in which femdoms are treated as superior, goddesses, etc, while subs want to feel like worthless piece of shit etc.

Is it just purely fantasy or some people exist who take such dynamics seriously and really feel like goddesses or like totally worthless and inferior?

Can it be healthy to really feel like it?

< Message edited by Lec -- 4/16/2014 7:51:54 AM >

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 7:53:10 AM

peppermint

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No.I would never lie about that. I am much better at certain things than he is. He can't spell. He is better at some things than me. I can't fix the lawnmower when it breaks. Has nothing to do with inferiority or superiority. Everyone does not do everything with equal skill.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 8:41:52 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lec

i would like to know also what you think about stereotypical porn fantasy dynamics between Femdommes and male subs, in which femdoms are treated as superior, goddesses, etc, while subs want to feel like worthless piece of shit etc.

I am completely unfamiliar with femdomme dynamics nor do I understand it, since I am a female sub.

But interestingly, when I think of being treated like a "piece of shit", that's verbal abuse humiliation isn't it? When a dom tells you, you're worthless, you're not good enough, you're useless. Like, it turns me on big time, when a dom tells me that I have to suck him till he cums, but before he could cum, he'd turn me around and thrust himself inside me, and then call me worthless and useless for not being able to make him cum, because he had to do the work himself and make himself cum. That excites me, and I know with the right person, it would excite him. And the thing is, it feels so personal between us, that deep inside, I know he loves me that I allow him to do things like that to me, and it thrills me that his love deepens for me when I understand this part of his need and I am able to fulfill it. It's quite an emotionally enriching experience. Never once do I really feel like a "piece of shit", but rather quite valued and treasured. I'm HIS slut to use and abuse.

I don't know what it's like for submales, and what emotions they go through, but I know I go through it with love clenching my heart and I expect to experience it with a dom who does everything with love shining through his eyes. Words like worthless and useless, sound loving to me.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/16/2014 8:44:38 AM >

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 8:55:01 AM

Lec

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lec

i would like to know also what you think about stereotypical porn fantasy dynamics between Femdommes and male subs, in which femdoms are treated as superior, goddesses, etc, while subs want to feel like worthless piece of shit etc.

I am completely unfamiliar with femdomme dynamics nor do I understand it, since I am a female sub.

But interestingly, when I think of being treated like a "piece of shit", that's verbal abuse humiliation isn't it? When a dom tells you, you're worthless, you're not good enough, you're useless. Like, it turns me on big time, when a dom tells me that I have to suck him till he cums, but before he could cum, he'd turn me around and thrust himself inside me, and then call me worthless and useless for not being able to make him cum, because he had to do the work himself and make himself cum. That excites me, and I know with the right person, it would excite him. And the thing is, it feels so personal between us, that deep inside, I know he loves me that I allow him to do things like that to me, and it thrills me that his love deepens for me when I understand this part of his need and I am able to fulfill it. It's quite an emotionally enriching experience. Never once do I really feel like a "piece of shit", but rather quite valued and treasured. I'm HIS slut to use and abuse.

I don't know what it's like for submales, and what emotions they go through, but I know I go through it with love clenching my heart and I expect to experience it with a dom who does everything with love shining through his eyes. Words like worthless and useless, sound loving to me.

That was a very informative post. Thank you.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 9:51:53 AM

SeekingTrinity

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~FRing it~

For me, there are two levels your question could be answered from. Reality and the dynamic.

The reality of my connection with my guy is that neither one of us feels inferior to the other. In our dynamics (we switch with each other), "superiority" and "inferiority" (quotes intentional) are part of it. But the overarching message is that we are neither superior nor inferior to each other. Like Greta, I actually treasure being called his anything...be it slut, bitch, whore, slave, property, or whatever. Anyone else calls me those names and it's an insult. But it's totally different with him. He is the safe place in my world where I can safely experience things I find humiliating or degrading in other parts of my life. Because I know in my heart and mind that they are just words that add an element to the dynamic. In reality, I know just how much he cares for me and he knows how much I care about him. I think, for us, it comes from truly trusting each other that deeply.

I hope what Ive said makes sense.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 4/16/2014 9:53:05 AM >

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 1:04:35 PM

InHisHeart

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quote:

i would like to know also what you think about stereotypical porn fantasy dynamics between Femdommes and male subs, in which femdoms are treated as superior, goddesses, etc, while subs want to feel like worthless piece of shit etc.

I don't watch Femdomme porn so I can't answer that but remember whatever kind of porn you watch.......porn is porn......real life is real life.

I'm of the same mindset as Greta75 and SeekingTrinity. When he calls me his slut, dirty girl, fuck toy, etc., or when he tells me to tell him how much I love being his slut, etc., he's not saying it to make me feel worthless and I never feel like a piece of shit or feel inferior to him, it excites me when he talks like that to me. Being called those things by anyone else would not end well for the person saying it to me.

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I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 1:53:37 PM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lec
<snip>
Can it be healthy to really feel like it?

Dunno about "healthy" or even therapeutic. Set aside the FemDom porn, because that's all a bunch of crap. There are play partners who mimic this sort of thing, but in loving, intimate relationships, it's an entirely personalized dynamic, as others have described.

Okay, I'll preface what I'm about to say by stating I don't get into humiliation & punishment dynamics and definitely not degradation. There's no disrespect in my intentions.

IF - and ONLY IF - my sub gets turned on by some name-calling here and there, along with objectification, then we do engage in certain behaviors. Let me reiterate, that merely tolerating it doesn't suffice. He has to actually want this; otherwise, what would be the point?

So if I call him my bitchboy, boytoy, sex slave, or any number of epithets that essentially put him in his place and express ownership or possession as MY valued property, it's done to intensify our excitement, not for the purpose of tearing down his self-esteem. After all, I don't go around calling just anybody these things.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, and I do this sparingly (not on a routine daily basis). Furthermore, I enjoy employing pet names and other terms of endearment, so that there is more mushiness than there are pejoratives being tossed about. If my sub started feeling as though I were belittling him or making disparaging remarks FOR REAL, then I wouldn't do it anymore.

[Edited for emphasis]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 4/16/2014 2:02:07 PM >

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Do you love feeling inferior to your D person? - 4/16/2014 3:32:34 PM

orgasmdenial12

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Yes I do. I don't set out to feel that way, and I'm not usually known for thinking myself inferior to anyone, but I find that as the respect and love grows, and certain routines and practises become embedded, I naturally start thinking of them as my superior, and I love that feeling.

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