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RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 7:48:39 AM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: briefNcounters

I would ask any experienced Masters who may be inclined to help if They might offer some suggestions... My aim is to please as best I can (of course) but also to please better than any other before me.

Okay, my view may not be the norm but I'll offer it for what it's worth because I've heard this question a million times and it always irks me. There is no formula for "how to please a Master." Men are different. Yeah, shocking I know. So here's the bottom line:

It's not your job to please your Master. Your job is to obey. It's his job to see that you are pleasing.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 4/18/2014 7:49:51 AM >

(in reply to briefNcounters)

Post #: 21

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 10:47:44 AM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline

How can you expect others to give suggestions on how you can please him? No two people are alike. If I asked how can I rock my Master's world, who could possibly answer that?

Being that you only know him from on-line and by phone, I think the advice was good advice, especially about the safety issues.

I didn't understand what you meant by "once discipline is dealt with". Discipline for what? Also, why do you feel you have to please better than any of his previous subs? They're in his past, let them there. It's not a competition and if he's going to measure you up to someone from his past, why would you want to be with him?

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

(in reply to briefNcounters)

Post #: 22

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 10:49:55 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Slow down. You've never even met the guy. No need to figure out dynamics with him yet.

I confess that I feel uncomfortable that you're specifically looking for ways to differentiate yourself from his previous subs. The best way go do that is if you're in his present and they're in his past.

I had the same uncomfortable feeling about this.

Pay attention to him. Do what he likes. Stop doing what he doesn't.

Don't make it rocket science. It's not.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 23

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 2:04:00 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: briefNcounters

I would ask any experienced Masters who may be inclined to help if They might offer some suggestions... My aim is to please as best I can (of course) but also to please better than any other before me.

Okay, my view may not be the norm but I'll offer it for what it's worth because I've heard this question a million times and it always irks me. There is no formula for "how to please a Master." Men are different. Yeah, shocking I know. So here's the bottom line:

It's not your job to please your Master. Your job is to obey. It's his job to see that you are pleasing.

K.

That right there is SQOTD stuff.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 24

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 2:13:19 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

Another one bites the Dust.

You were given excellent advice based upon the information given. The advice was given out of experience. It was advice for your safety as well as your mental and emotional stability. It seems as if you are just a HORNDOGETTE going for the HORNDOG. Go for what you know. It seems as if you didn't really want advice at all, you just wanted to air your affair in a public forum. Mission Accomplished.

This happens all too often, as with a child. Not actually wanting a wide range of advice with which to weigh one's options, but only wanting to hear the echo of what one already has decided or has in mind.

OP, you're old enough to be my sister, and I shouldn't even have to tell a middle-aged woman to watch out for STDs and to take the proper precautions. Whether you're horny and he's horny, is your own business. I'll tell you what ISN'T innovative whatsoever on either one of your parts, and that is the "beat & fuck" and giving him a bj the first time you meet. That puts you squarely in the category of an ordinary, common slut. Not trying to slut-shame you, but you want to be HIS special slut, unless you don't care whether you get used & discarded. I'm not a sub, but there are just as many, if not more, submissive males ready to offer their submission at the drop of a hat, and this does not impress me in the slightest. They're merely one among many who can be easily had and therefore not desirable to me.

If this man doesn't make the effort to rock your world, then move on to one who can.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 25

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 3:35:17 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: briefNcounters

Well, thank you all. I asked advice and seems I set myself up for ridicule, Not entirely what was expected. It appears I was naive to think the community might take an honest interest. Many thanks to Celtic Prince for standing apart. Brief.

You set yourself up for ridicule because it's ridiculous that a 50 year old woman is even asking this.

You have never met this guy, he is not your New Master, let alone even a lunch date.

You are sounding like someone in fantasy land, but even that has to be tempered with good sense, safety and realistic expectations of both parties.

And here is my best advice.

Be confident about yourself and never, ever compare yourself or worry about ex subs.

Innovative ways to please? Pfft. He is lucky he even gets to talk to a girl, I imagine.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 4/18/2014 3:36:11 PM >

(in reply to briefNcounters)

Post #: 26

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 3:43:04 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
You set yourself up for ridicule because it's ridiculous that a 50 year old woman is even asking this.

Not everyone agrees with that assertion. Actually, the question seems pretty straight-forward to me. I'd have answered it if I was kinkier. Then again, lots of things which look entirely outlandish to me are responded to on these boards as if they were pretty straight-forward and lots of things I think are as normal as rain get mocked here for being outlandish. I've always chalked that up to the different viewpoint my vanillaocity encourages.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 27

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 3:48:02 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

It may seem straight forward to you, but clearly I feel that at a certain age, one should have acquired a certain wisdom, vanilla or not.

It has nothing to do with kink.

If she asked for advice on ways to please her new man that she already met with and was not getting set up for a crashed fantasy, then my answer, as well as lots of others would have been different.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 28

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 7:50:37 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Sorry but a 50 year old married womand who is deluding herself that she is ebtering some magical, fantasy fullffilling relationship behind her husbands back rather than realizeing she's not going to be more than a kinky booty call and likely a one off at that? I makes me sad.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 29

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/18/2014 8:43:40 PM

Meluckycharms50

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/15/2013
Status: offline

I have never posted before but wanted to put my two cents in. I am married and will eventually divorce. I have learned a lot from the people on these boards and believe you me, i would much rather believe these people that you read all the time than some guy online, who is probably married himself or just looking for that one special blowjob. I am taking all the valuable information i've learned from these people and when i am divorced, then i will look for my Dom and he will have to work very hard to keep my attention. Thank you everyone on here for all you do. Your advice isn't wasted on me!

They're always after meluckycharms!

_____________________________

Charms

They're always after Meluckycharms!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 30

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/19/2014 2:32:46 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Meluckycharms50

I have never posted before but wanted to put my two cents in. I am married and will eventually divorce. I have learned a lot from the people on these boards and believe you me, i would much rather believe these people that you read all the time than some guy online, who is probably married himself or just looking for that one special blowjob. I am taking all the valuable information i've learned from these people and when i am divorced, then i will look for my Dom and he will have to work very hard to keep my attention. Thank you everyone on here for all you do. Your advice isn't wasted on me!

They're always after meluckycharms!

What a great attitude! Thanks on behalf of all the forum posters who've been on these boards over the years, much longer than I have, that's for sure. I've learned a lot of interesting things, too.

When you're ready, I'm positive you'll find a good, appreciative Master.

Btw, love your avatar and motto -- You can imbed it permanently under the forum My Profile (upper right hand corner) as your personalized signature, which is separate from the CM profile side.

[Edited for clarity]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 4/19/2014 2:46:23 AM >

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Meluckycharms50)

Post #: 31

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/19/2014 10:52:16 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: briefNcounters

As a sub about to meet with a new Master for the first time (following on from lengthy and intense online & telephone discussions) I would ask any experienced Masters who may be inclined to help if They might offer some suggestions. My new Master has indicated that He likes to 'give my sub the freedom to find innovative ways to pleasure her Master' once discipline is dealt with, and I am a bit lost as to how I might do this in 'innovative' ways that will set me apart from his other, previous subs. My aim is to please as best I can (of course) but also to please better than any other before me.

I would appreciate any advice from any Master/s who feel they may be able to help this sub on her journey.

Respectfully,
subK.

The first thing I would do is take a few deep breaths, then I would tell my self that I am meeting someone who could some day down the road become my master but he ain't there yet. Then I would go meet him and get to know him as a person. I would also question the comment about pleasuring the master after discipline. It sounds like he is expecting to have to discipline you on a regular basis and that would be a red flag for me. Not sure what he meant by being innovative but the cynic in me thinks it is probably another way of saying "really good blow jobs". Maybe stick a few ice cubes in your mouth first. That should get his attention.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to briefNcounters)

Post #: 32

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/19/2014 11:48:08 AM

Meluckycharms50

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/15/2013
Status: offline

Thank you FieryOpal for your kind welcome. I am not only new at this but new to forum posting as well.

_____________________________

Charms

They're always after Meluckycharms!

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 33

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/19/2014 11:55:23 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Meluckycharms50
I am taking all the valuable information i've learned from these people and when i am divorced, then i will look for my Dom and he will have to work very hard to keep my attention.

I admire the sentiment but at least to my eye it's subtly warped. I don't "work very hard to keep Carol's attention." She does not work hard to keep mine. That's the thing about being love. The whole attention thing sort of comes with the package. What is true is that we both work pretty hard to maximize our marriage and we both think "us" is more important than either of the two individuals.

I personally think going into a relationship with an adversarial mindset is an automatically losing proposition.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Meluckycharms50)

Post #: 34

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/19/2014 3:13:40 PM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline

quote:

I don't "work very hard to keep Carol's attention." She does not work hard to keep mine. That's the thing about being love. The whole attention thing sort of comes with the package. What is true is that we both work pretty hard to maximize our marriage and we both think "us" is more important than either of the two individuals.

I personally think going into a relationship with an adversarial mindset is an automatically losing proposition.

I couldn't agree with you more Jeff. Neither of us jump through hoops to keep the other's attention. We also don't take each other or our relationship for granted and I believe that's important in keeping a relationship strong. Together we strive to make our relationship the best it can be.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 35

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/19/2014 7:20:05 PM

Meluckycharms50

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/15/2013
Status: offline

My comment was more in the line for the OP who hasn't met the man and is already asking what can she do to better please him. Not that i think it's a one way street. I know it takes two by my own personal experience. I meant basically that i would need to go by actions...(the working hard), not by just words online. Sorry for the confusion.

i really don't have an adversarial bone in my body.

_____________________________

Charms

They're always after Meluckycharms!

(in reply to InHisHeart)

Post #: 36

RE: Help Please! sub requiring ideas to please... - 4/20/2014 1:16:29 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I think there is a huge difference between a couple in a relationship and two people just beginning to embark on the cortship leading to a relationship. Its all nifty porn to say,"after diiscipline, you can think of onnovative ways to please me." But that's all it is; nifty porn.

Real life? That "getting to know you stage" requires both parties to hold the others attention. And if the only way to hold someones attentionis through kink games and sex, the relationship is going to fizzle out fast.

Of course any guy who starts out comparing you to his exes is socially inept and shouldn't be embarking on relatuionships anyway.

Regardless, I stil predict this to be a one off booty call sending the bored housewife back to her husband wonderring what was wrong with her sexual prowess and what she should have done to please this guy better than the others. Especially since the reality is likely they told him to stuff it, so any blow job will be an improvement ovr past (also one off booty callsk "subs."

(in reply to Meluckycharms50)

Post #: 37

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