BDSM in Vanilla life

BDSM in Vanilla life (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

NWDom1970 -> BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 7:26:48 AM)
So I have a question for you that I would like to pose out here. Now I work for a non medical transportation company in Washington State. I transport elderly, disabled, and less fortunate people to or from medical appointments. Now being in the lifestyle for many years now I find it interesting how I can read most people that I meet in my job. In my time with the company I have come across submissive, slave, Dom, and Master / Mistress type people. I chuckle because some of them really fail at being vanilla in everyday life. So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 7:30:36 AM)
Simple: The same way you would any other vanilla person!!

TenderTorment -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 7:37:24 AM)
I'm confused! From what you say most of the people you are "reading" as you put it are strangers you encounter in a professional sense, so I'm struggling to understand why you would want to address a strangers behaviour, let alone respect them (or not).

InHisHeart -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 8:19:32 AM)
I'm also not understanding your question. What kind of "out of line" are you talking about and why would you feel the need to address it unless it's something they said/did to you?

Chwilfrydig -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 8:25:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NWDom1970 So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them? Unless they are stripping naked or whipping on each other (in other words, illegal activities or those that threaten the safety of others), in my opinion RESPECT means you politely offer assistance getting on and off the vehicle, drive safely, and mind your own business.

Killerangel -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 9:09:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NWDom1970 So I have a question for you that I would like to pose out here. Now I work for a non medical transportation company in Washington State. I transport elderly, disabled, and less fortunate people to or from medical appointments. Now being in the lifestyle for many years now I find it interesting how I can read most people that I meet in my job. In my time with the company I have come across submissive, slave, Dom, and Master / Mistress type people. I chuckle because some of them really fail at being vanilla in everyday life. So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them? Why would anyone performing a job behave differently towards their clientele based on some type of assumption they've made? Sounds extremely unprofessional to me. If anyone is "out of line", generically asking them to adhere to your company's rules of basic safety and courtesy is as far as you should ever go. None of these rules need to be personalized on your part. Also, work is always vanilla - leave out your own ideas about what others do in their private time and how you oddly think that should affect how people are treated.

DaddySatyr -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 9:16:29 AM)
I think there are some things that are situational. When working, I am a bit more likely to let personal insults roll off my back. However, I am self-employed. I have, at times, decided that a client is not worth the headaches they cause. I can make that decision for myself. I have also recommended that they might do better working with a colleague/competitor of mine. However, there is a balance that must be struck. I am assuming that you are employed by someone. Leaving out your assessment of lifestyle status, why not ask your boss (for example): "If Mr. Smith calls me an idiot, how should I handle that?" You might find that your boss is like me and wouldn't ask you to acquiesce to improper behavior. At the very least, you'll get guidance from your boss as to what your limits are. Good luck. Screen captures *still* RULE! Ya feel me?

DarkSteven -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 9:32:16 AM)
1. If you have a foolproof method to ID kinksters, you've accomplished something nobody else has. 2. It's common knowledge to treat kinkfolks like vanilla when out in public.

DesFIP -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 12:36:48 PM)
If some of the elderly you're transporting are ordering you about inappropriately, I doubt it's because they are dominant with their spouse. It's a side effect of having had a stroke.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 1:02:11 PM)
~FRing it~ I think your best bet is just to handle folks the way your company mandates and leave it at that. Whether they are kink oriented or not, all of your clients need to be treated the same way. Trying to put your own spin on it based on your interpretations of who you think they are kink-wise is just asking for trouble.

doctorgrey -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 5:31:51 PM)
Treat people as people. That is what they are. They are livng thier lives and not, I would have thought, trying to fulfill a role, or match a title which you might be all to willing to apply. Relax, you speak of your profession, so act professionally and leave your personal preferances at the door. Do your job, respect everyone 'til they demonstrate otherwise. DrG

NWDom1970 -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 6:28:00 PM)
Well first off I guess I leaned to much towards the job, however when the person brags about being in BDSM in the first place it's pretty simple to understand their stance, I do follow company policies however there does come a time when the "Dom" as he calls himself continues to talk about the lifestyle and I continue to attempt to change the subject as my job dictates for me to do. Now I drive this "Dom" as a regular client at least twice a week. I have tried several times to be polite and change the subject, I myself have not expressed my views on the lifestyle due to the fact that I am at work. However when I listen to this person I start to wonder if he really knows what he is talking about or if he is really just blowing hot air. I know that there are extremes out here but DAMM he goes to far at times.

Chwilfrydig -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 7:10:34 PM)
Does he have Alzheimer's or another type of dementia? Because often with this disease, a person gets "stuck" or focused on a particular phase of their past. In addition, they may no longer have the ability to repress or even recognize inappropriate behavior. It can be very demanding to interact with people who suffer from dementia. Changing the subject usually will not work. I've found it's best to just smile and listen, maybe respond with benign but short, supportive answers like "Yes, I know" or "That must have made you happy". It doesn't matter if what he is saying really happened or not; if he has dementia, it's true for him, and he deserves the utmost compassion.

Darkfeather -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 7:28:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NWDom1970 So I have a question for you that I would like to pose out here. Now I work for a non medical transportation company in Washington State. I transport elderly, disabled, and less fortunate people to or from medical appointments. Now being in the lifestyle for many years now I find it interesting how I can read most people that I meet in my job. In my time with the company I have come across submissive, slave, Dom, and Master / Mistress type people. I chuckle because some of them really fail at being vanilla in everyday life. So my question is how do you address one's behavior in vanilla life when they are out of line, but yet still respect them? I too suffered from this problem... Then I bought this little gem and never looked back [image]http://www.conrad-electronic.co.uk/medias/global/ce/8000_8999/8800/8840/8846/884696_LB_00_FB.EPS_1000.jpg[/image]. Five minutes of typing and printing, and you can slap an easy to read label on anyone. They do sell raised ones for the sight impaired, and come in different colors for the fashion concious

DesFIP -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/19/2014 7:53:32 PM)
You allow him to ramble while sharing nothing of your own life. And you recognize that he is probably suffering from dementia, stroke or traumatic brain injuries. Any of which can cause this kind of monomania.

graceadieu -> RE: BDSM in Vanilla life (4/23/2014 11:21:39 AM)
Since changing the subject isn't working, I think you should try being more direct with him and tell him, politely, that hearing about his sex life makes you uncomfortable and you'd like to talk about something else.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875