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Newly Dominant - 4/21/2014 12:03:25 AM

youbemyfuntoy

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/20/2014
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I am a straight male. For as long as I can remember I have been of a submissive mindset. I have had countless fantasies of submitting to a dominant woman. Although I attempted to find a Domme who would take me on, I never successfully found one.

Suddenly, I am realizing that my D/s persuasion has flipped on its head! I am brimming with confidence and I am now incredibly interested in being the Dom in a relationship. It suddenly makes so much sense that the woman's purpose is to please the man.

I feel that even though I don't have real-time experience with a D/s relationship, I understand the mindset of the submissive. Perhaps this could help me be a good Dom. I am not interested in inflicting pain, but I just want the woman in the relationship to kneel down at my feet and do whatever I tell her to do. I will be gentle with her but I am in charge, no question about it.

Does anyone have any experience with this kind of shift from being a submissive male to being a Dominant male? Any advice?

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RE: Newly Dominant - 4/21/2014 12:21:29 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Dude, you're still young and finding yourself. You're a Switch. You'll always have that submissive itch that needs scratched.

It's possible to be a sado-masochistic Top/bottom, even a masochistic Dom or a sado-sub, but you know you're not interested in inflicting pain, so the S&M spectrum doesn't apply in your case. (Which I can fully relate to, because it doesn't to me either)

IMHO, you owe it to the submissive women that you contact to be upfront about being a Switch, and not just an inexperienced Dom. You'll have a better chance of finding a compatible match and save yourself a boatload of unnecessary misery trying to live a lie.

[Edited to add word]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 4/21/2014 12:23:38 AM >

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to youbemyfuntoy)

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RE: Newly Dominant - 4/21/2014 12:27:17 AM

youbemyfuntoy

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/20/2014
Status: offline

Thanks for the response @fieryopal. I will take the possibility that I am a switch into consideration. I certainly am not looking to be dishonest with any women that I become involved with, but I must say that at this moment I couldn't even imagine being submissive anymore. It seems so contrary to my desires. I have recently had a very powerful spiritual transformation in my life and everything is just so much different in the most beautiful ways.

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RE: Newly Dominant - 4/21/2014 1:21:53 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youbemyfuntoy

Thanks for the response @fieryopal. I will take the possibility that I am a switch into consideration. I certainly am not looking to be dishonest with any women that I become involved with, but I must say that at this moment I couldn't even imagine being submissive anymore. It seems so contrary to my desires. I have recently had a very powerful spiritual transformation in my life and everything is just so much different in the most beautiful ways.

Welcome, by the way, and do stick around these message boards. You might want to check out the Ask a Switch forum to see if this modality suits you. Having submissive tendencies does not mean that you have to be or feel submissive to just anybody. You wouldn't trust a total stranger in any other area of your life unconditionally, would you? No, I didn't think so.

You may indeed be more suited to be a Dom. The same principle applies--nobody owes you instant submission either, not to mention any other intimacy dynamic.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Newly Dominant - 4/21/2014 4:52:53 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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Hi funtoy, welcome to the forums.

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

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RE: Newly Dominant - 4/21/2014 7:02:00 PM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Welcome to the discussion forum. Here, we talk about a wide variety of subjects ranging from relationship issues to exchanging recipes. If you have any questions, we have a Search feature that will help you find past threads on just about any topic you can imagine. Take a look around and see what we are all about and if a topic interest you..... join in and tell us your thoughts and feelings. Its nice to have you here with us.

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Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

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