RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave

RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (Full Version)

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lilcracker -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/26/2014 9:01:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me. I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly. How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across. How does giving you more pain equate with being a slave? Sounds to me more like he is not treating you like a masochist.

LordHeimdall -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 4:02:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I found a new master recently who is fairly new to the lifestyle. While the sex is not bad, hes very cautious about how rough hes willing to be with me. I've had several masters who were apprehensive at first (as I am pretty tiny and fragile looking) but most of them warmed up fairly quickly. How do I tell this one just how much pain I can take? Because apparently saying "I wanna hurt for days" isn't getting the point across. Greetings Princess, As a new Master myself, I can tell you I might not want to hit you too hard. I'm not a Dom that is interested in subjecting my Sub to a lot of pain, but that is not to say I wouldn't. But under no circumstances could you ever expect to 'hurt for days' from me. Hours perhaps, but not days. You would have to find a different master.

RazTheKiller -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 4:42:08 AM)
Even as a sadist I can't bring myself to hit a female. I can wrestle a female down and make her do things. I can even do some mild asphyxiation stuff. Hitting is scary for me. Even when I think of it, images flash in my head of all the bad things that can happen. I think that's why I'm only attracted to larger men and women. In my mind they can take more abuse (although that's not always the case either). Maybe you should try switching pain for humiliation.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 6:11:03 AM)
Is this really about hitting? There are other ways to elicit pleasure from pain. Just saying.[sm=stickineye.gif]

DominantWoman65 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 6:40:21 AM)
What boggles my mind is the assumption in some of these posts that: Submissive = masochist Sadism = abuse

thompsonx -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 7:05:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi Have you tried telling him he hits like a girl? [;)]

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 7:15:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominantWoman65 What boggles my mind is the assumption in some of these posts that: Submissive = masochist Sadism = abuse Given OP's post, it's pretty obvious that she's wanting more than a 'normal' submissive. She has spelled it out by saying "I wanna hurt for days" - that's quite a strong phrase for someone not a masochist. There are some good sadists, yes. But, for the most part, given what I've seen on here and elsewhere, sadism is indeed a good label for an abuser.

DominantWoman65 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 7:55:28 AM)
My point being is not to generally combine submissive with masochist. Pain is not a criteria for being submissive nor is submissiveness a criteria for being a masochist. Can you be both, of course you can but they are two different genres. I will agree that many people title themselves as sadists or dominants for the sole purpose of abuse which does not necessarily have to be physical in nature and these are the people who should be called out for what they are, assholes, but when a generalization is made that sadism equals abuse then as a practicing sadist I am thought of as an abuser which is simply not true.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 8:01:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominantWoman65 My point being is not to generally combine submissive with masochist. Pain is not a criteria for being submissive nor is submissiveness a criteria for being a masochist. Can you be both, of course you can but they are two different genres. I will agree that many people title themselves as sadists or dominants for the sole purpose of abuse which does not necessarily have to be physical in nature and these are the people who should be called out for what they are, assholes, but when a generalization is made that sadism equals abuse then as a practicing sadist I am thought of as an abuser which is simply not true. And I'm a little confused because I don't see anything in this thread where there is any confusion on the labels. Maybe you're reading something I'm not. But I re-read the thread and couldn't see any to prompt your question.

DominantWoman65 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 8:13:25 AM)
The OP complaining that her master doesn't "hit" her hard enough, because he is dominant doesn't mean he is into delivering her type of pain and Razthekiller referencing her preference to larger men or women because they can take more abuse.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 8:51:38 AM)
And where are the labels being confused?? (BTW: Razthekiller is a male, not female) [:D] What prompted your post #25? quote: ORIGINAL: DominantWoman65 What boggles my mind is the assumption in some of these posts that: Submissive = masochist Sadism = abuse Because I just can't see where you got that from. Besides which, I think SB (BadOne) hit the nail on the head - OP is an Instasub of the masochistic kind.

DominantWoman65 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 9:26:49 AM)
We observed thing differently but yes, OP is most definitely an instasub.

Leatherprincess4 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 3:40:01 PM)
I refuse to treat this like an ordinary relationship because it isn't one. I already had a fiance when I met master so we both knew it was purely sexual (my fiance was submissive as well so we decided on an open relationship so both our kinks could be fulfilled). While the fiance and I have since split up, the dynamics of my master and I's relationship has not changed. While I very much enjoy the humiliation aspect I desire pain as well. And its not like I want him just beating me senseless, but whether its my face or my ass all he gives are little love taps. I want so badly to please him but I would like to have my needs met as well. He's just a difficult person to talk to and I don't want to offend him.

DominantWoman65 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 3:54:52 PM)
You just joined on 3/31 and profile yourself as a single submissive yet you have all these fiancé and master issues in less than a months time... Somtimes you just can't help stupid.

Killerangel -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 3:56:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I refuse to treat this like an ordinary relationship because it isn't one. I already had a fiance when I met master so we both knew it was purely sexual (my fiance was submissive as well so we decided on an open relationship so both our kinks could be fulfilled). While the fiance and I have since split up, the dynamics of my master and I's relationship has not changed. While I very much enjoy the humiliation aspect I desire pain as well. And its not like I want him just beating me senseless, but whether its my face or my ass all he gives are little love taps. I want so badly to please him but I would like to have my needs met as well. He's just a difficult person to talk to and I don't want to offend him. How long do you see a relationship like that lasting, and would it ultimately be fulfilling to the people involved? You have needs that you don't want to talk to him about because you feel you can't, or it's too difficult. Sounds like you should let this one go...

poise -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 6:01:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherprincess4 I refuse to treat this like an ordinary relationship because it isn't one. I already had a fiance when I met master so we both knew it was purely sexual He's just a difficult person to talk to and I don't want to offend him. So your relationship is sexual only, and yet the sex isn't good enough for you, but since there aren't any other "Masters" available in your small college town, according to another post of yours, you're willing to put up with less than thrilling sex. And even though you are only with him because you can't find another Master, you fear offending him by being open and honest with him about your needs. Got it. I'd say you pretty much suck at finding compatible partners, what with you already having committed yourself to marrying a submissive, until this "Master" came along to save you from a boring sex life, except, you're already bored. Not to mention the "several" Masters you've had before them. So here's what you do. Tell him you need him to be rougher during sex. Or, wait till the next prince charming comes along and latch on to him, hoping he can read your mind and satisfy your every need.

InHisHeart -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/27/2014 6:10:33 PM)
quote: He's just a difficult person to talk to and I don't want to offend him. If people can't communicate in a relationship, the relationship isn't a very good one but that's just my opinion. Relationships of any type take being able to communicate with each other. I can't imagine being with a Master who I couldn't talk to about anything and everything.

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/28/2014 9:12:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum ...instead of slutting around find someone with mutual interests before you hop in the sack. Wow, so if a woman has 'several' partners, that means you can berate her for 'slutting around'? Incredibly judgemental and outdated attitude. To the OP - some Doms are not really Doms, in the BDSM sense, they're more like bossy 1950s style control freaks who want all the power without really considering the sexual or sadomasochistic desires of their submissives. Nor do they really like inflicting pain, it's all a bit too much like hard work for them. It's easy for people to wag the finger and say that pain is not the same as D/s and Doms are not sadists but we all know that the vast majority of people into BDSM do it because they enjoy the pain play. There's really no cure for his laziness or lack of interest - if they're not that into play, and they're the ones controlling things, it's going to be difficult for you to get the level of play you want, and maintain it at that level. I would sincerely recommend relegating him to a play partner, so that you can continue looking for a Dom more suitable for your preferences. That way, if he wants to carry on seeing you, he has to play and you can call the shots as regards what type of play you do. As regards all this nonsense about fetish delivery systems - slavery is a fetish delivery system - just sayin.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (4/29/2014 3:54:49 AM)
Op: If he's a difficult person to talk to, WHY do you submit to him?

lilcracker -> RE: Master doesn't treat me like a slave (5/1/2014 4:25:27 PM)
quote: It's easy for people to wag the finger and say that pain is not the same as D/s and Doms are not sadists but we all know that the vast majority of people into BDSM do it because they enjoy the pain play. I agree that the vast majority of people into BDSM...do enjoy the pain play....since the S/M stands for Sadism and Masochism...at least it always did back when I began 20+ years ago. Secondly FOR ME so pardon me if I am wagging my finger....D/s is a totally different feeling from my masochistic side. I have a submissive personality AND I am a masochist. My submissive personality is more on the very vanilla side...and I have a partner who, as you describe, is a quote: bossy 1950s style control freaks who want all the power Although I do work outside of the home I do have house chores and even if I am tried after a long day...if required I do them...he handles the money (yep even mine and I earn more), chooses meals, comes and goes as he chooses though I need to report or get consent, I do not raise my voice, I must have respect, honor, obey...ect...with that said...I am NOT formally collared...I don't call him Master or Sir....I have NEVER knelt before him....we don't have a punishment dynamic but do engage in LIGHT spanking play other than that our sex life is very vanilla....pretty missionary...no anal even. To be honest...the man is THE BEST lover I have ever had. I am nearing 50 so I have more than a few to compare him to. When my masochist side comes around....which honestly is not as often as it used to be....it's a totally different side to me than my submissive personality. That side of me is NOT at all submissive....I am greedy...bossy....selfish....and I DO top from the bottom. I will say, "Harder hit me HARDER." Sometimes it is all in the way I move that gives the direction....and since my partner knows me well he can fulfilled MY needs just by watching me. My masochistic side gets off on the feeling of the pain...sometimes every single thought leaves my mind and all I can focus on is the feeling. When I am not in a masochistic mode....I don't enjoy pain as a matter of fact our spanking play is very light...sometimes that can push me to a masochistic mode but not often....every few months I hit that level but that is stretching it...sometimes I go much longer without needing pain. Just a FYI, I have the exact same partner whether I am in my submissive mode or my masochist mode and I don't believe he has a Sadist bone in his body. Although he might be a bossy 50's style control freak who wants all the power, this part does not describe him quote: without really considering the sexual or sadomasochistic desires of their submissives. Nor do they really like inflicting pain, it's all a bit too much like hard work for them. And another FYI although I make more money than he does....he does work much harder at his job than I do AND although I have house chores he does the majority of the house chores because I work longer hours. I totally get the finger wagging, because in the minds of SOME D/s and BDSM are two totally different worlds; as a player of both sides of the fence to me they ARE two totally different things. Sorry OP but it does sort of sound like you are judging a bit as well.

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