RE: Are most dommes fin dommes?

RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (Full Version)

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stef -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/25/2014 1:29:07 AM)
Your "truth" is not necessarily the truth. Where did I say you were looking for anything? Did you actually read my post or did you just get upset because another woman called you on your shit? Poor you.

thishereboi -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/25/2014 6:41:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imtempting Because most women who are very pretty and and under 40 expect men to pay for their so called valued time. Put your search limits on people who are slightly over weight for the height your looking for and you will find more women who are not expecting money to just send them a message. I know my post will have some women up in flames but in not the skinniest person out there either(don't bother looking at my profile, I've been here nearly ten years so I changed it a lot due to boredom) but my comments stand tall. Look for girls under 25 who are skinny, majority of them are wanting tributes. Now look same age group at girls slightly to massively overweight and and you will be few and far between. Not sure why that would send anyone up in flames. It's just your opinion and everyone is entitled to one even if it is stupid.

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/25/2014 6:58:17 AM)
I've seen a lot of findomme ads placed by women who were quite full figured and "pillowy"...so there goes your "statistics" claim. I do see a correlation between those spewing abusive "pay Me pig, pay My rent, I want to rape your wallet" type language, and their level of income...often it IS the younger, just entered adulthood and can't make ends meet type...it's blatantly obvious that some of them are desperate for a man's money to survive, especially when they post right in their profile that they are going to be kicked out of their apartment if some pay pig doesn't cough up some dough. You don't hear it quite so much from the mature-aged, economically well-established Women. A good finDomme is in CHARGE of Her submissive's spending, controls where and how he spends it (for submissives with spending or gambling problems this is actually a BENEFIT), instead of robbing him blind to pay for drugs, frivolous things, or a roof over Her head. This is the difference between Financial DOMINATION and financial DESPERATION. Anyway, we've all had this discussion at length in a past thread, so anyone wanting to revisit this topic can read that.

thishereboi -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/25/2014 7:03:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS I've seen a lot of findomme ads placed by women who were quite full figured and "pillowy"...so there goes your "statistics" claim. I do see a correlation between those spewing abusive "pay Me pig, pay My rent, I want to rape your wallet" type language, and their level of income...often it IS the younger, just entered adulthood and can't make ends meet type...it's blatantly obvious that some of them are desperate for a man's money to survive, especially when they post right in their profile that they are going to be kicked out of their apartment if some pay pig doesn't cough up some dough. You don't hear it quite so much from the mature-aged, economically well-established Women. Yea, I call them 'princess profiles" and some of them are outright scary. A good finDomme is in CHARGE of Her submissive's spending, controls where and how he spends it (for submissives with spending or gambling problems this is actually a BENEFIT), instead of robbing him blind to pay for drugs, frivolous things, or a roof over Her head. This is the difference between Financial DOMINATION and financial DESPERATION. Anyway, we've all had this discussion at length in a past thread, so anyone wanting to revisit this topic can read that. We have a few of these also and while I can understand the confusion between the two it only takes a few conversations to tell which is which.

Moderator3 -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/25/2014 7:52:39 PM)
This thread has been cleaned and returned to the forum. Please do not continue to make personal attacks and if you see one, please don't quote it or expect it to remain if you respond to it. Debate is fine, but an argument that includes personal attacks is not.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/25/2014 10:21:57 PM)
Sorry

fetisheden -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/26/2014 3:53:18 PM)
just offering to show up with a penis is not enough.if you are not good looking, charming, smart,interesting, or funny, you will need to have money(just like any other relationship)

mybabyboy -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/26/2014 9:07:14 PM)
There is no such thing as "pay pigs". Or "fin-dommes". It was phrase someone coined in their profile, and like a viral idea, others thought... hey, I can set up scam profiles and get masochistic suckers to fork over money to me to. Like a viral idea, it was copied, and copied, and copied in an exploding tree like fashion. I have no doubt there are 250,000+ self proclaimed fin-dommes on Collarme, and not a single actual... "pay pig". There are a few fake pay pig profiles, but nothing more. And if there were a real "pay pig", and a "fin-domme" hooked up with them, in real life... it wouldn't last, because said fin-domme would find such a person so pathetic and disgusting and irksome... they wouldn't want to be around them... and would soon grow tired of even dealing with them, to take their money. It wouldn't be worth the trouble. And I would even question, if the domme was even dominant, if they needed to "take" money from other people. Dependency on external sources of money sounds like a pretty submissive role to me. Even more so when its dependency on pathetic individuals. I also really question the label of "pro-domme". Pro meaning... professional. Really. What makes you think you are a "professional"? Are you right up there with other professionals, who went to college for 6 years and earned a medical degree, or can program in 10 different programming languages? I suppose if you mean Pro as in Profession.... it would be a fitting moniker... but then, they say... prosititution is the oldest Profession... too. My best advice is to avoid all profiles that self style themselves as fin-dommes or pro-dommes. There is an ocean of attempted grafting going on here, on a commons that can support very little. I visualize it as a thousand hungry people fighting over a slice of bread someone found on the ground, and not one taking the time to actually bake a loaf for themselves.... Your mileage may vary... I just call it like I see it.

pleasemsbliss -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/26/2014 9:14:55 PM)
I wonder though, how hard it would be for collarme to create a category that separated those who "require tribute" from the ones that don't. That would solve a lot of problems. As least we'd be able to separate between those looking for someone to "date" and those looking for "cash". I feel for the subs having to weed through what seems like is about 90% of all the profiles here.

MzArianaPA -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/27/2014 6:56:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pleasemsbliss I wonder though, how hard it would be for collarme to create a category that separated those who "require tribute" from the ones that don't. That would solve a lot of problems. As least we'd be able to separate between those looking for someone to "date" and those looking for "cash". I feel for the subs having to weed through what seems like is about 90% of all the profiles here. CM doesn't even have the option on a profile to state whether one is married, single or involved. If you think it's a pain to filter out those that require tribute, try filtering out those that are not free for a relationship but want a Domme to indulge them in their fetishes anyway.

imtempting -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/27/2014 7:28:15 AM)
@mybabyboy I agree with most of your post except in my opinion I put them in the same category as money hungry hookers and would gladly take money from anyone no matter how they look.

thishereboi -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/27/2014 8:29:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mybabyboy There is no such thing as "pay pigs". Or "fin-dommes". It was phrase someone coined in their profile, and like a viral idea, others thought... hey, I can set up scam profiles and get masochistic suckers to fork over money to me to. Like a viral idea, it was copied, and copied, and copied in an exploding tree like fashion. I have no doubt there are 250,000+ self proclaimed fin-dommes on Collarme, and not a single actual... "pay pig". There are a few fake pay pig profiles, but nothing more. And you know this for a fact because you have met every last one? Right? But you might be right about the word originating from one person and spreading from there. Kinda like most new words are started. So what was your point? And if there were a real "pay pig", and a "fin-domme" hooked up with them, in real life... it wouldn't last, because said fin-domme would find such a person so pathetic and disgusting and irksome... they wouldn't want to be around them... and would soon grow tired of even dealing with them, to take their money. It wouldn't be worth the trouble. And I would even question, if the domme was even dominant, if they needed to "take" money from other people. Dependency on external sources of money sounds like a pretty submissive role to me. Even more so when its dependency on pathetic individuals. They are out there and from what I have seen in the last 15 years they are doing just fine in their relationships. But perhaps this is where your hatred is coming from. Tell us, did you belong to someone who decided you were so pathetic they kicked you to the curb? It's ok, you can be honest. I also really question the label of "pro-domme". Pro meaning... professional. Really. What makes you think you are a "professional"? Are you right up there with other professionals, who went to college for 6 years and earned a medical degree, or can program in 10 different programming languages? I suppose if you mean Pro as in Profession.... it would be a fitting moniker... but then, they say... prosititution is the oldest Profession... too. This one is too easy. You do know what professional means, right? Doing something and making money for it. But then again reading your little rant, I will have to assume you don't. So why don't you trot off and look that word up. Then you will understand how silly that paragraph really is. My best advice is to avoid all profiles that self style themselves as fin-dommes or pro-dommes. There is an ocean of attempted grafting going on here, on a commons that can support very little. I visualize it as a thousand hungry people fighting over a slice of bread someone found on the ground, and not one taking the time to actually bake a loaf for themselves.... Your mileage may vary... I just call it like I see it. Yes you do call it just like you see it. Interestingly enough, that is the same thing the people who claim anyone who does AB play is a secret pedophile say. In fact I would guess that there are just as many of them as there are folks like you claiming femdommes and pros are fakes. Something to think about the next time you feel like slamming someone elses kink.

amazonglamour -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/30/2014 8:42:07 AM)
Because, just like in vanilla life, some of us Dommes actually know what our precious time is actually worth. If a guy isn't willing to put his money where his mouth is, then just like in vanilla life, she will move on and find a man who will. It's supply and demand. If her time isn't worth to you what it's worth to her, than don't waste it. It doesn't make them less of a "real" Domme any less than a girl who dates around and lets guys take her out to dinner/pay for her drinks in a bar is less of a "real" woman.

Chwilfrydig -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/30/2014 9:13:15 AM)
Hi Nicci, and I am glad to see you posting here - seriously, we get a LOT of whining from submissive guys and rarely hear from actual FinDommes. It would be refreshing and interesting to hear their views and experiences outside of the usual "pay me and bow down" type of posts. I hope you'll contribute here. I'm curious as to how you came to enjoy this kink, and what is the ideal number of submissives you feel you can handle successfully? Cheers, Chili ps Hope you didn't mind my fat wallet comment in Intros - I like to joke around [:D]

amazonglamour -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/30/2014 9:35:19 AM)
Haha well honestly it's just like in the real world; only chumps think they're entitled to a real woman's time without earning it. I got into the kink fairly recently, but it has a lot of history. My father was a gambler, and growing up, it was always either feast or famine. My mother, who was a very timid woman, never exercised any control over the family finances. After their divorce, when SHE was in control of the family money, everything was better. In nature the man goes off and hunts and provides, and the woman distributes it among the family. I believe that THAT is how it should be; men as the provider, and women balancing and controlling the budget. Also, I'm a businesswoman. I know what I'm worth, even in the vanilla world. I don't pay for food, I don't pay for drinks, I don't pay to go out, because men will pay for it for me (and if I'm gracing them with my attention, they damn well should). I'm a bit of a child in that I see everything as MINE. In my mind, these men are all just holding MY things and they are going to give them to me not only because I deserve it and am worth it, but because it is MINE to begin with. There are enough men competing for the privilege to spoil me that it would be downright foolish to waste my time on somebody who isn't. I'm not naive enough to believe that this is going to last longer than another five years or so, but while the demand is so high, the supply is going to cost you. Not to mention it makes no sense to complain. When she mentions the tribute, just say no thank you and message somebody else. I've never been rude to a potential sub for not being into findom or accused anybody of no being a "true" sub for not paying, and so I don't appreciate it from the other end.

Chwilfrydig -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (4/30/2014 10:55:57 AM)
I can understand your view of men from hearing about your father - that must have been hard to go through, not being able to rely on him from day to day. My father was a Type A "good provider", but he had a vicious temper and was very critical. It took me a long time and a lot of self-reflection to be able to build good relationships with men because of that. I still freeze up when faced with extreme anger or confrontation. Do you think you will someday find a long-term partner you can love and respect, or is that even something you intend to pursue? I ask because if you do want that type of relationship (in five years <grin>), it's going to take quite a leap from your current way of thinking to even recognize that type of guy. To be clear, I'm not being critical of you or your kink, and I hope I phrased this to reflect that. I think every one has a deeper value beyond their looks, and I hope you are finding yours along with meeting the current demands of your male clients. I'll also say that I wouldn't mind being 6' and gorgeous. And 21. Along with being valuable, of course. [:D]

MzBlackOnyx -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (5/2/2014 8:22:55 AM)
Greetings, The Black Onyx here I am in a battle in this community right now with this post as a subject for one of the reasons kink needs a full over-haul: ppl here soley for money. Now each D is different. I particularly dont seek financial gain from my Slaves. My Supremacy focus has nothing to do with money just as sex has nothing to do with BDSM. Ppl choose to mix these dynamics then approach all believing it should be an automatic given to be paid or to have sex. This is very ignorant and selfish. But another commentor said it best: Read Profiles. A classy person will tell straight out what they seek. I respect Pro D's for stating who they are and a fee comes with their service. But those not Pro's seeking cash mingling in with the rest of us gets under my damn skin. However, slaves have been giving their owners gifts be it cash or new shoes since day one of this community. So to believe you can come here, get your lil kinks off and NOT give anything in return is not how this goes. With respect to Subs not Slaves, also like another commentor said: if romance is the focus then her interest is deeper, but if you just want a woman to dominate you why would she use her time with you receiving nothing for her efforts when there are Plenty of subservients who will donate or give gifts? Competition is fierce and you must compete. Ive had married men hiding who they are from their wives expect me to keep their secret, be available when they find the time to sneake away, be available to me only when it benefits them and think that me disciplining/training them is substantial enough. In other words, because they are in the scene they feel they are equally giving me what I want so why should they pay. Lets see now, you cant be the property I need you to be because your unavailable most times, your lying to your spouse or partner, your toying with my lifestyle and want me to be available when your available - in what world is your every blue moon submission worth more than my time? Your going to pay. Point blank. Theres respect in this community and bouncing in and out, here and there is very disrespectful to D's so to come here with hang ups, baggage, excuses, severe limited availability and expect us to smile through clenched teeth while our time is being spent - its crazy to think that headache should be free. So know if your worth indulging without pay before you expect a woman who doesn't know you and doesn't owe you anything to just spend her time with you when she could be with a subservient whose available, true AND doesnt mind parting with cash. Be realistic if nothing els. The Black Onyx

imtempting -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (5/2/2014 2:35:15 PM)
So findomme = prostitute/call girl. Thanks for clearing that up... There are kinky places you can go, which are taxed and governed and their put into the same category of brothels so it further proves my point. Fin dommes provide a so called service??? Fundamentally sexual in nature, which equals prostitute or call girl. If anything, you should pay tax applicable to any tributes received.

MzBlackOnyx -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (5/2/2014 10:08:30 PM)
You have the comprehension equal to an IQ of 2. What part of "sex has nothing to do with BDSM" dont you get? So in other words your telling us all here that domination means kinky sex - in which case you want to treat a Mistress like a whore since sex goes with your equation of a D's relationship but you dont want to pay like the trick your seeking to be??? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!! HA-HA, LOL, ROFL, LMAO!!! And your wondering why your whinning here and pissed off...good luck with that. The rules dont change for YOU, and the proof is in the amount of mail Mistresses get in their inboxes everyday from prospective subservients - I dont need to ask how much mail you get from D's seeking you out. This tantrum you threw here is evident that you get NO MAIL AT ALL. Ahhh-Haaa. Im laughing at you not with you. The Black Onyx

cloudboy -> RE: Are most dommes fin dommes? (5/4/2014 10:40:44 AM)
On Collar Me, I would say professional and fin dommes comprise about 35-50% of the profiles where women are between the ages of 18-35 and are height-weight proportionate. After that a high proportion of women here are already in a relationship. After that -- the number of blue messages in a woman's inbox remains robust to overwhelming. It is a small miracle to simply break though and make a rudimentary connection to FEM DOM -- after that -- hopefully you might share something in common. The chances of your success increase if you dislike cross dressing, diapers, and human toilet fixations. Despite all these discouraging head winds, I think it is always important for you to highly value yourself and lead with your own best attributes. If a woman finds your strengths and talents attractive, then you become unique and desirable. You become the green marble is a sea of blue marbles.....

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