FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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Honestly johnny (formerly lec, and thanks for letting us know elsewhere you had to change accounts), I don't know how many ways we can tell you that Dominance/submission does not require any BDSM involvement whatsoever. It usually does, but that's a personal choice. What you absolutely don't have to accept is a sadistic Mistress, and all you have to do is ask. They are very straightforward about this and have no ulterior motives in trying to trick an unsuspecting submissive.
I am going to take a position which another forum regular opposed in no uncertain terms, but I will state this again herein, and if nobody else agrees, they're entitled to their opinion. The main difference between D/s which incorporates BDSM and D/s which doesn't is the issue of mutual consensuality. This type of consent is explicit, but can also be implicit. The primary difference is that with both BDSM and trans-vanilla D/s (for lack of a better term), consent can always be withdrawn. Vanilla D/s is often implemented on a non-consensual or loosely consensual basis, without a verbally-honored escape clause, and therefore the risk of domestic abuse runs high in those relationships. For example, religious women who have been inculcated to believe the husband must always be head of household, and give their blanket consent, only to discover later that they feel they are being held hostage within their own marriage. (e.g. the pastor's wife with the non-consensually kinky husband who anally raped and humiliated her regularly during sex, until she finally snapped and out came the shotgun; the brainwashed and mentally disturbed wife Andrea Yeager who drowned her own children in the bathtub, etc.) This kind of vanilla marital dominance over a spouse is NOT BDSM. It is not entered into with eyes wide open.
Dominance/submission dynamics in general are so wide-reaching, wide-ranging and ubiquitous, that they permeate the fabric of all of our lives. Besides civil authorities, employment situations, academics, sports, and so forth (not to mention the armed forces), think of your own parent's marriage. Your aunts & uncles, your grandparents. Think who was in charge for the most part. In some marriages, the husband's authority went unchallenged. In others, the wife ruled the roost or wore the pants in the family. Chances are none of these relatives were involved in BDSM. There is a remote possibility there may have been Domestic Discipline engaged in between spouses behind closed doors, but that's about it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are over-thinking this to the point where you've posted nearly a handful of questions that are similar, and you keep hoping to get different answers, is it? I don't understand the purpose of this approach.
[Edited for proofreading]
< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 4/27/2014 2:57:07 AM >
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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