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Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 1:21:02 PM

johnnytheguy

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/26/2014
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I would like to have a nice decent profile, with normal pictures, with normal sounding description of myself, mentioning my vanilla interests, hobbies, etc, pretty much like a profile on any other dating site.

However, I can't do it. Having someone I know come across my picture on the site like this would make me very uncomfortable.
Also general reputation is in question.

And any detailed description (together with my age and country) can also give a good hint that it's me, even if there are no pics with face.

How have you overcome this phase of shyness and started feeling comfortable with presenting yourself here?

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 1:31:17 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

You can see when I joined and no, I've never been comfortable with posting a photo of myself publicly on this site or any adult-oriented sexy/kinky site. And you don't have to. Post what you described and offer to send a photo of yourself through email if you develop enough of a trust to do so. There is nothing at all wrong with doing that, many in here do it. Or, you could post one that's not taken in bright sunlight, maybe wearing a casual hat, maybe even sunglasses. Just don't look like you're purposely wearing a bad disguise, if that makes sense. Or even if you do, it's okay. That way, people can get the general idea of what you look like physically without showing your face in sharp detail.

You don't have to appeal to everyone, only to the right one(s).

But also remember, if someone who knows you is in here and sees your photo.....THEY are in here, too!

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 1:32:31 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Well, Johnny, the way I did it is, first of all, I thought anyone else on this site is probably kinky too. Second, my very first pictures of myself only showed part of my face, like the eyes.

NBMG

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 1:38:16 PM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Just do a body shot with clothes on in an area that could be any area in the world. Like against a plain wall etc.

A lot of people will just want to see what the persons body looks like.
Before I have people whinging and complaining and crying,
A lot of people prefer the heavy side of healthy weight or bigger.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 2:36:39 PM

DominantWoman65

Posts: 386
Joined: 6/27/2013
Status: offline

Personally for me I had no qualms about posting my photos. I am who I am.

(in reply to imtempting)

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 3:01:23 PM

SweetAnise

Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline

To the OP: I think for me, kink is part of my private life and exploring it on CM is also private and personal. I am not shy but I also know photos on the WWW can lead to trouble (loss of a job, end of a friendship, or simple humiliation). People today are not as honest or trustworthy and therefore I am more protective of who gets to see me. Risk is part of life, but I would rather risk showing myself to someone I have formed an amicable and trusting relationship with than to anyone who would take a photo to use, misuse, and/or abuse.

But, do whatever makes you comfortable. Not what you think others want.

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 3:46:36 PM

Ilyrium

Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

As the OP notes, the problem isn't necessarily the folks on this site, but, the folks NOT on this site.
They would be the ones who might never understand.
The only thing, as I see it, that you can do is either post a picture of you, or, one that represents you.

Both can be done without compromising your identity.

(in reply to SweetAnise)

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/27/2014 8:50:29 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You don't need a face shot. A general body shot from behind or under a tree so the face isn't clear is enough.
And I doubt you're the only young man in Bosnia who listens to a band, or roots for his soccer team.

You're imagining that these vague clues will immediately identify you. Truth is, your vanilla interests are going to be common. None of us are that special.

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/28/2014 7:58:12 AM

piopio1949

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/17/2014
Status: offline

I am one of those guys who don't have any issues with posting their pictures here. I suppose that this is mostly because my closest friends already know that I am into kink and those who don't would probably keep it to themselves if they came across my profile by chance, which looks very unlikely.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/28/2014 7:34:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Piopio, your profile doesn't come up so I don't know what country you're in. But being a male sub in Bosnia openly would be like admitting to being a homosexual in Saudi Arabia.

The op has reason to be nervous.

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 4/29/2014 5:07:15 AM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

I know what ya mean
I happen to live in a village(really,not even a"city")
and I also happen to free lance for work,alot
that means in the same week,I might work for a church,an up tight elderly citizen,a feminist hippy,ect
there are also a few people involved with the local scene who I absolutely detest(meth)
so at first I was Real cagey
photo shopped my face so that it was...um....less then recognizable(have since lightned up,and have real pics of me,but only after I was sure that some people were gonna get bored of looking at my "pics")

as fer vanilla interests,figure out a way to convey them without giving the details away

you like motorcycling?well lets say that you do for an example,take a nice shot of yer bike,but only a part of it
you can try to make it artsy,get a nice angle of the sky with a silhouette of the handle bars or some'n
any body who's familiar with bikes with recognize it as a bike,but wont recognize it as yer bike(hopefully)

But keep in mind,if any one you know finds yer profile,that means they were on this site....which probably means they're cool with it..........

and you can always "stealth perve",change your profile's region and message anybody that catches yer fancy who has a profile set up in your actual area,so it's you who is initiating contact,not the other way round

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Pictures on profile, etc - 5/4/2014 7:39:03 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

The quickest thing you can do to buy yourself some time until you decide what you feel comfortable doing, it to go to My Profile in the upper right-hand corner of the Forum page, which will take you here http://www.collarchat.com/editprofile.asp. Your Forum Profile is separate from your User Account Profile on the other side; however you can use the same primary photo/avatar for both.

When you get to this upper middle section, labeled My Profile, your user name will automatically appear under "Login," assuming you are logged into Collarchat.

Skip down to "E-mail" and make sure it is the same address as how you registered your CM user name. (4th blank field laterally)

Then skip down to "From:" if you wish to disclose a location, just to give an idea where you are from, at your discretion. (6th blank field laterally)

Go to where it displays "Signature" (13th blank field laterally), and within that box you may type your motto, up to 255 characters. This will become your Signature line every time you post. It will automatically appear on all your posts, even the ones you've already made.
The coding here is the same as when you post, in case you want to change fonts, lettering style, or add your own signature color. There is a checkbox if you want your Signature to always appear within your post at the very end.

Scroll down toward the bottom of the page and click "Apply" so you don't lose what you've typed. Or you can go ahead and save by clicking "OK."

Then skip down to the last two areas in that section where it says "My avatar" and "Set up profile photo," and you will see the following options:
o Upload my picture (will replace the existing one)
o Click to choose avatars View My Avatar! [TAKES YOU TO AVATAR GALLERY]
o Don't display avatar

_ Use your avatar as Profile Photo
o Upload my picture (will replace the existing one)
o Enter URL: ____________________________

You can then decide whether to user your chosen CC forum avatar as your main profile pic on the CM side, or you can do it the other way around and make your main CM pic appear here on the CC forum side.
My forum avatar didn't take right away on the CM profile side (time delay?), so I uploaded it separately over there myself.

Under the My Preference bottom section, you can choose whether you want your draft posting style to be Inline or pop-up.
Set your Subscription preferences for notifications.
Set your other preferences, including Time Zone adjustment and/or Forum Language to the current server.

Remember to click "OK" to save your Forum Profile.
You can go to the Test forum to try out how it displays when you are done updating your Forum Profile, for a trial run on how your post will appear.

[Edited to renumber]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 5/4/2014 7:56:55 AM >

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