RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic?

RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (Full Version)

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OwnerFiftyNine -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/28/2014 10:48:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Crouchingtiger77 I have encountered on more than one occasion a person who is sub according to their profile and we start talking, and seems to be good and cordial, polite. But after about ten minutes the woman in question when it happens will say something like, "You are too politie to be sadistic." My counter to that is: We are simply talking, something akin to say talking face to face at a starbucks or other social function. One does not put out that side which you would not show with others in similar social context. That side , the sadistic side, is there, but I do not need to show it with verbage which is not consistent with cordial conversation. This is not a game to me, and I do not like playing mind games either with people in such initial getting to know you conversations. Why do others think I must put off the ' cordial' as some type of game? Or is there something I am missing in this? I have thought how to ask this and not sure if I have put forward the case as best it could be. to be fully understood but did my best. Thank you Tiger To me,kink and playing are as intimate as French kissing. Jumping to any conclusion about such things after a few conversations is pointless.These things take time. And being a nasty fowl mouth doesn`t make one a sadist.....What exactly does and sadist sound like?[;)] One can only find out behind closed doors,after trust and intimacy are earned. Maybe it`s better not to be involved with people who don`t get you.

PyrotheClown -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 5:18:26 AM)
I find that alota people get outward appearances and actual character traits confused. when someone is less then cordial,I don't think,"Wow,he must be domineering"or"he must be a badass" instead,I think "wow,he is really insecure"

FieryOpal -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 6:31:56 AM)
You should consider yourself lucky you get to screen out unsuitable matches early on before you've invested more of your precious time. You will or have more than likely encounter(ed) a sub who expects you to move at an accelerated pace that she thinks she can handle before warm-ups, and this type of do-me sub will start complaining that you are not sadistic enough. Better for you to nip it in the bud, if you're seeking more than a masochistic bottom. I find there are far too many male subs who expect to meet a whip-wielding Dominatrix decked out in black leather fetish gear, wearing thigh-high stiletto boots, who will start trampling on them. They aren't seeking an actual person to connect with; they just want to be transported off to some kinky fantasyland for a quick fix. Part of this fantasy is to be overpowered. Instant Domination, according to their mental script, a script where you have been relegated to the role of their service Top. As a Dominant, I would be wary of anyone professing to be a submissive who has so many control issues and doesn't give you enough respect to let you as the Dominant set the pace. They spell nothing but trouble.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 10:32:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PyrotheClown I find that alota people get outward appearances and actual character traits confused. when someone is less then cordial,I don't think,"Wow,he must be domineering"or"he must be a badass" instead,I think "wow,he is really insecure" I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use.

PyrotheClown -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 10:51:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 quote: ORIGINAL: PyrotheClown I find that alota people get outward appearances and actual character traits confused. when someone is less then cordial,I don't think,"Wow,he must be domineering"or"he must be a badass" instead,I think "wow,he is really insecure" I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use. Wait,there was an OP? I was just stating an observation lol

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 10:57:41 AM)
I often forget there was an OP myself [:)]

Crouchingtiger77 -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 11:00:41 AM)
quote: I often forget there was an OP myself Linus from the Snoopy cartoons, the forgotten entity of life's non reality.

FieryOpal -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 11:33:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use. Ya know, I forgot that I used to do that on vanilla dates. I'm more inclined to say I don't think we have chemistry and/or the same priorities in life. I've never done this, but maybe a good way to scare them off Spirited, is to describe the BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING you're planning to have within the next 2 years, along with that dream honeymoon in Paris à L'Avenue des Champs-Élysées!

PyrotheClown -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 11:48:46 AM)
Meh,I've never had it sugarcoated........I normally get the honest reason straight away when I hear it read off the restraining order by the cop lol

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 2:57:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FieryOpal quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use. Ya know, I forgot that I used to do that on vanilla dates. I'm more inclined to say I don't think we have chemistry and/or the same priorities in life. I've never done this, but maybe a good way to scare them off Spirited, is to describe the BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING you're planning to have within the next 2 years, along with that dream honeymoon in Paris à L'Avenue des Champs-Élysées! I think I see the makings of a great new thread. Come up with tactful BS ways of saying "I'm not interested" but in a "it's me, not you" kind of way!

Chwilfrydig -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 3:45:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 I think I see the makings of a great new thread. Come up with tactful BS ways of saying "I'm not interested" but in a "it's me, not you" kind of way! "I'm sorry, but you look too much like my ex. He was an Adonis to me, but broke my heart."

SWDesertDom -> RE: Does Cordial Conversation mean one is not Sadistic? (4/29/2014 8:48:13 PM)
Based on the type of profiles that I get responses like that from, my vote is it's a signal that they are wankers.

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