quote:

ORIGINAL: Crouchingtiger77

I have encountered on more than one occasion a person who is sub according to their profile and we start talking, and seems to be good and cordial, polite.

But after about ten minutes the woman in question when it happens will say something like,
"You are too politie to be sadistic."

My counter to that is: We are simply talking, something akin to say talking face to face at a starbucks or other social function. One does not put out that side which you would not show with others in similar social context.

That side , the sadistic side, is there, but I do not need to show it with verbage which is not consistent with cordial conversation. This is not a game to me, and I do not like playing mind games either with people in such initial getting to know you conversations.

Why do others think I must put off the ' cordial' as some type of game? Or is there something I am missing in this?

I have thought how to ask this and not sure if I have put forward the case as best it could be. to be fully understood but did my best. Thank you
Tiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: PyrotheClown

I find that alota people get outward appearances and actual character traits confused.

when someone is less then cordial,I don't think,"Wow,he must be domineering"or"he must be a badass"

instead,I think "wow,he is really insecure"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: PyrotheClown

I find that alota people get outward appearances and actual character traits confused.

when someone is less then cordial,I don't think,"Wow,he must be domineering"or"he must be a badass"

instead,I think "wow,he is really insecure"

I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use.

quote:

I often forget there was an OP myself

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I have a different sense about what might be happening to OP. In my experience, it is hard to gently reject a man I am not interested in when I don't want to hurt his feelings, so sometimes I pick what seems like a less hurtful reason for saying I don't think we'd be a match. Saying that someone seems too nice or cordial would be a perfect non-hurtful way of saying I'm not interested in him. In fact I'm going to save that one for future use.

Ya know, I forgot that I used to do that on vanilla dates. I'm more inclined to say I don't think we have chemistry and/or the same priorities in life.

I've never done this, but maybe a good way to scare them off Spirited, is to describe the BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING you're planning to have within the next 2 years, along with that dream honeymoon in Paris à L'Avenue des Champs-Élysées!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I think I see the makings of a great new thread. Come up with tactful BS ways of saying "I'm not interested" but in a "it's me, not you" kind of way!