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questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 12:50:52 PM

THEMISTRESSLUXE

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/10/2013
Status: offline

Hi there, guys.

I'm not really sure where this would be best suited, but I'm in need of some input and advice regarding e-relationships as they pertain to Domme's and subs/slaves. Recently, I've had to end a really intimate and intwined real-time relationship (my only successful relationships to date have been real-time, but then again I haven't really actively pursued and online one until now,) and as a result I've become curious about having a fulfilling, and maybe more global interaction with the perfect sub/slave through email/text/skype, etc. Admittedly, I'm not even sure I could fully enjoy a relationship where I couldn't physically be in the presence of my partner, but I know that I'm not all that interested in physical contact at the moment. I feel as though my D/s relationships are very emotional and personal for me, so as you've probably noticed: I'm conflicted.

Any advice, stories, etc, about enduring a successful and satisfying online D/s relationship is greatly appreciated! Thanks for you time, lovelies.

- l u x e y

< Message edited by THEMISTRESSLUXE -- 4/28/2014 12:51:28 PM >

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 1:14:45 PM

johnnytheguy

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/26/2014
Status: offline

Confirmation of The Rule 34:
There is such a thing as tiny font centered italic fetish. :)

(in reply to TheMswitch)

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 1:21:35 PM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

My partner and I started out online, so I wouldn't dismiss it altogether. I can't say I ever found online interaction all that fulfilling, though, and if we hadn't had concrete plans to get together real-time, I don't think I would have seen it through.

It largely depends on what constitutes a decent relationship to you. Personally, I need someone to be there for me. I want someone who can help when I'm sick, or snuggle on the couch after a long day. I want to serve in a way that seems to actually improve their life in some way - whether that be cooking dinner or running an errand or surprising him when he gets home from work. Now there are ways you can serve someone from a distance but they are much more limited - in person there can be all sorts of small spontaneous acts of service and submission.

I find it's hard to have a reasonable set of rules when you're not present in the other person's life. If I'm with my partner, I generally understand his work deadlines, how he's feeling, his family and friend commitments, his comfort zone and so on.... If I'm far away, and even more so if we've never been together in person for an extended period, I don't understand all the nuances of his life. That means I might make rules that just aren't realistic, practical or helpful. It also means I'm not there to see if the rules are being followed. Now in theory, it's all about trust anyway, so I shouldn't need to check up on him. But in reality, I always felt rules were pretty hollow without at least some degree of accountability.

I never found cyber sex or camming to be enjoyable, and unfortunately that's a big part of online D/s relationships for lots of people. For me it was awkward and just reminded me on how much I missed actual human contact. If it turns you on, that might not be an issue for you.

So yeh.... online relationships CAN work, but it's whether the types of interactions they provide are ever going to satisfy you. That, and as you've already seen in this thread, if you advertise as searching for online only you're likely to get a lot of horny guys who just want to exchange stories about fun penis games. Which is fine if you're into that, but I didn't get the impression that's what you're looking for.

PS. I have pretty good eyesight and had to make the page way bigger to read that tiny italic font. Might want to consider using something a little clearer to make sure you get more responses.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to THEMISTRESSLUXE)

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 2:38:27 PM

trigun12

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/27/2014
Status: offline

So far my only D/s relationship as a sub was online. Even though i do feel i get more out of this lifestyle my normal vanilla relationships were more fulfilling.
The problem that u cant spend time together takes a toll on both the sub and the dom like AthenaSurrenders already mentioned.

If its fulfilling for u to know that ur sub follows ur rules and the relationship is mostly play based i think a online relationship can work out, but stay away from the subs who offer from the beginning to do everything for u it is mostly wastet time (was a few years ago also one of them and am now not proud of it).

Depending on the sub u can also try something like the Virtual Master (Mistress) programm, if the scripts are codet to some degree he has to follow the rules and punishments are given from the progam itself. u can define jobs for him (like cleaning, brushing teeth) and when he has a cam it will take pictures from him doing the cores. everything is saved in a report and directly mailed to u when set up right. There are of course also some ways for the sub to cheat but i did try this a while ago for myself for fun and it can be really interesting. Pleas do not take this as advertising coz the programm is completely free and in my opinion it is a good way to pep up a online D/s relationship.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 2:39:09 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnytheguy

Confirmation of The Rule 34:
There is such a thing as tiny font centered italic fetish. :)

You have officially inspired me to do a public service, johnny my boy:

quote:

ORIGINAL: THEMISTRESSLUXE

Hi there, guys.
I'm not really sure where this would be best suited, but I'm in need of some input and advice regarding e-relationships as they pertain to Domme's and subs/slaves. Recently, I've had to end a really intimate and intwined real-time relationship (my only successful relationships to date have been real-time, but then again I haven't really actively pursued and online one until now,) and as a result I've become curious about having a fulfilling, and maybe more global interaction with the perfect sub/slave through email/text/skype, etc. Admittedly, I'm not even sure I could fully enjoy a relationship where I couldn't physically be in the presence of my partner, but I know that I'm not all that interested in physical contact at the moment. I feel as though my D/s relationships are very emotional and personal for me, so as you've probably noticed: I'm conflicted.

Any advice, stories, etc, about enduring a successful and satisfying online D/s relationship is greatly appreciated! Thanks for you time, lovelies.
- l u x e y

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to johnnytheguy)

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 5:51:12 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

Thank you for the font increase so I could read what OP said, FieryOpal. Geeze, I feel old because I honestly couldn't read it

I honestly find no fulfillment in online D/s relationships, OP. This is of course just me and I in no way am speaking for the masses because I do know relationships come in all forms and flavors. I hope that you are able to find the answers you seek to help you with your situation and wish you luck

(in reply to FieryOpal)

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 6:10:52 PM

SirEpitome

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

OP I Have some resources I can point you to to look over yourself. The answer to your question is not so simple and cut and dry. These kinds of relationships are complex in nature and people are complex and diverse in their wants, their needs, and their understanding of those things in relation to them.

Can they work; sure absolutely
Do they work; of course
Are they fulfilling; 90% of the time

Now just imagine the opposite of those three statements.

You should define what you're comfortable with and what you're really seeking, know what you would be willing to do and do not be afraid to say no I can't or I won't do that.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

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RE: questions about e-relationships & D/s - 4/28/2014 6:28:42 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity
~FRing it~
Thank you for the font increase so I could read what OP said, FieryOpal. Geeze, I feel old because I honestly couldn't read it

I honestly find no fulfillment in online D/s relationships, OP. This is of course just me and I in no way am speaking for the masses because I do know relationships come in all forms and flavors. I hope that you are able to find the answers you seek to help you with your situation and wish you luck

My pleasure. (I couldn't read it either, no matter how hard I squinted!)

(Pretend this is me squinting....)

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

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